Am I too sensitive to noise? (apartments, lease, living)

[popdivision]

The wall of my apartment is so thin that I hear almost all sound my neighbor (who share the wall) makes. Music, musical instrument, tableware, talking, game, sex, sneeze, cough, burp, laugh, tv, it's seriously almost everything clearly. The neighbor moved in about half a year ago, and I kept enduring noise he made until recently I finally gave up and got in a rage when he began to talk on phone after 11pm everyday, which was very loud as much as I felt as if he talked in my unit. I wanted to complain to my apartment manager about all the noise, but I did about only talking on phone this time, and she promised me to talk with him about the noise complaint. I actually heard they talking on phone even from my room. He seemed to not have realized I could hear him. He still talked on phone after 11pm, but his voice became much smaller.

One week later, he kept listening to music on speakers from 2pm through 8pm on weekend, so I inserted through the door of his unit a letter asking him to turn the volume of his music down and saying that the wall is very thin. And the volume of his music became smaller after that.

Today I got in a range again two weeks after the last complain. He invites his girlfriend on every weekend to his unit, which mean I have to hear their sex sound on every weekend. When he invites someone, it's a nightmare because I can hear their conversation clearly as much as I feel as if we share the same room. They played music on speakers, played games, had conversations all the time, had sex three times from 2pm to 7pm. I heard all of these. I tried to knock the wall or talk to them through the wall (it's surely possible), but I didn't today. They ruined my time of weekend.

I'm thinking to ask the manager again to tell him or write a letter to him again. But am I too sensitive? When I once measured his noise in my room, it was over 60dB. I already use earplugs, but it doesn't work well with male low voice. I want more quiet time on weekends, but I feel a little sorry for him by complaining a few times but at the same time I get in a rage. I can't understand why I have to put earplugs in my room even though I don't share the room with anyone. I have no problem if he listened with smaller volume though. Do I have a right to have a quiet time during the day too? Or do I have to endure it during the day?

[Freefall18]

I think you're being a little overly sensitive, and really the problem is that you live in a complex with very thin walls. Doesn't sound like he's being overly loud with the noise at unreasonable hours. It sucks that you have to hear everything, but he should be allowed to talk on the phone at pretty much any hour of the night as long as he isn't shouting or talking in an elevated voice.

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by popdivision

The wall of my apartment is so thin that I hear almost all sound my neighbor (who share the wall) makes. Music, musical instrument, tableware, talking, game, sex, sneeze, cough, burp, laugh, tv, it's seriously almost everything clearly. The neighbor moved in about half a year ago, and I kept enduring noise he made until recently I finally gave up and got in a rage when he began to talk on phone after 11pm everyday, which was very loud as much as I felt as if he talked in my unit. I wanted to complain to my apartment manager about all the noise, but I did about only talking on phone this time, and she promised me to talk with him about the noise complaint. I actually heard they talking on phone even from my room. He seemed to not have realized I could hear him. He still talked on phone after 11pm, but his voice became much smaller.

One week later, he kept listening to music on speakers from 2pm through 8pm on weekend, so I inserted through the door of his unit a letter asking him to turn the volume of his music down and saying that the wall is very thin. And the volume of his music became smaller after that.

Today I got in a range again two weeks after the last complain. He invites his girlfriend on every weekend to his unit, which mean I have to hear their sex sound on every weekend. When he invites someone, it's a nightmare because I can hear their conversation clearly as much as I feel as if we share the same room. They played music on speakers, played games, had conversations all the time, had sex three times from 2pm to 7pm. I heard all of these. I tried to knock the wall or talk to them through the wall (it's surely possible), but I didn't today. They ruined my time of weekend.

I'm thinking to ask the manager again to tell him or write a letter to him again. But am I too sensitive? When I once measured his noise in my room, it was over 60dB. I already use earplugs, but it doesn't work well with male low voice. I want more quiet time on weekends, but I feel a little sorry for him by complaining a few times but at the same time I get in a rage. I can't understand why I have to put earplugs in my room even though I don't share the room with anyone. I have no problem if he listened with smaller volume though. Do I have a right to have a quiet time during the day too? Or do I have to endure it during the day?

When you live in any shared living space you have constant noise from neighbors. The best thing to do is start looking for a place to move that is better suited to you.
I'm not sure who you would contact regarding the level of noise you are hearing outside of what you have done by notifying the building manager.
Read your lease and see what it says and there may be some sort of noise ordinance you could refer to but I would not even know where to do a search for that.

[mousiegirl]

Move somewhere with thicker walls.

[Chicago60614]

Originally Posted by popdivision

The wall of my apartment is so thin that I hear almost all sound my neighbor (who share the wall) makes. Music, musical instrument, tableware, talking, game, sex, sneeze, cough, burp, laugh, tv, it's seriously almost everything clearly. The neighbor moved in about half a year ago, and I kept enduring noise he made until recently I finally gave up and got in a rage when he began to talk on phone after 11pm everyday, which was very loud as much as I felt as if he talked in my unit. I wanted to complain to my apartment manager about all the noise, but I did about only talking on phone this time, and she promised me to talk with him about the noise complaint. I actually heard they talking on phone even from my room. He seemed to not have realized I could hear him. He still talked on phone after 11pm, but his voice became much smaller.

One week later, he kept listening to music on speakers from 2pm through 8pm on weekend, so I inserted through the door of his unit a letter asking him to turn the volume of his music down and saying that the wall is very thin. And the volume of his music became smaller after that.

Today I got in a range again two weeks after the last complain. He invites his girlfriend on every weekend to his unit, which mean I have to hear their sex sound on every weekend. When he invites someone, it's a nightmare because I can hear their conversation clearly as much as I feel as if we share the same room. They played music on speakers, played games, had conversations all the time, had sex three times from 2pm to 7pm. I heard all of these. I tried to knock the wall or talk to them through the wall (it's surely possible), but I didn't today. They ruined my time of weekend.

I'm thinking to ask the manager again to tell him or write a letter to him again. But am I too sensitive? When I once measured his noise in my room, it was over 60dB. I already use earplugs, but it doesn't work well with male low voice. I want more quiet time on weekends, but I feel a little sorry for him by complaining a few times but at the same time I get in a rage. I can't understand why I have to put earplugs in my room even though I don't share the room with anyone. I have no problem if he listened with smaller volume though. Do I have a right to have a quiet time during the day too? Or do I have to endure it during the day?

None of this seems like it's the neighbors fault at all - he's trying to just live his life normally and actually attemping to keep it down when you ask. Don't blame him.

If it's driving you nuts then move somewhere with no neighbors ajoining walls. If you can't do that then just get use to it or move to the suburbs or a small town.

[Fieldriver]

I can relate; I can hear everything my neighbors do as well and it's something that takes on a life of its own. I start being vigilant about the sounds, I become hyper alert. It's kind of nutty. I appreciate that I am not the only one who values a quiet environment. It is also not the first time I have heard the suggestion about the suburbs. Are they quieter? Aren't apartments built cheaply everywhere, and don't people listen to music and have sex everywhere? I am contemplating moving to the suburbs after 25 years of living here, but I would have to be convinced that somehow these problems would disappear once I get beyond O'Hare. I don't want to make the move if it's just as noisy in the suburbs.

[Meemur]

I feel for you, too! I hear very well and absolutely hated sharing a wall with anybody.

Eventually, you'll need to move, but in the meantime, you might find a white noise generator helpful. They are available at Walmart, Target, Walgreens, Amazon, etc.

Here is one example. I like this one because it sounds like an a/c unit:

Buy Sleep Easy

[Freefall18]

Originally Posted by Meemur

I feel for you, too! I hear very well and absolutely hated sharing a wall with anybody.

Eventually, you'll need to move, but in the meantime, you might find a white noise generator helpful. They are available at Walmart, Target, Walgreens, Amazon, etc.

Here is one example. I like this one because it sounds like an a/c unit:

Buy Sleep Easy

There's also about a million white noise apps for smart phones

[Dport7674]

Apartment living isn't for everyone.

[Firststop]

I like the white noise idea too. Also, I was wondering about some sort of acoustic material, at least on that bedroom wall! I am very noise sensitive and run a small fan every night of my life! I live in a very small town, but on the main drag. Lots of traffic noise. I have been researching white noise machines just today, because I think my fan is maybe too loud. I haven't decided on switching yet. I hope you get some relief soon.