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Old 11-30-2011, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Northern Colorado
4,932 posts, read 12,763,183 times
Reputation: 1364

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phazelwood View Post
The problem here is not that there is anything wrong with any of it, most, really has nothing to do with your character.


You do not have to have good character to be a musculat skinny guy and run at the gym and around the block.

Despite how it sounds, you do not need to have good character to help the poor, although it is a good thing to do, don't get me wrong.

Some suburban dads beat their children, so , good character is not needed.

Smart and witty, Some of the greatest criminals are smart and possibly have never been caught. Jerks can be witty, I'm fairly witty and I can be a jerk.

Calm and confident, calm about what and confident about what? I do not think you have to have good character to be either, but I can't honestly call that one 100% for sure.


So, concerning your character, who do you want to be?
Well, I want to be like John Bunyen and probably like Timothy and want to be like Jesus. But Jesus was perfect, and I'm not that.

Probably just more confidence, more muscle and more athletic, and calmer. More confident when I'm confronted by like cops, people in stores, people at work, and other students who are being jerks. And calmer in all those situations too. I don't want to be stepped on in this world.
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Old 12-01-2011, 07:35 AM
 
5,925 posts, read 6,948,010 times
Reputation: 645
Quote:
Originally Posted by the city View Post
Well, I want to be like John Bunyen and probably like Timothy and want to be like Jesus. But Jesus was perfect, and I'm not that.

Probably just more confidence, more muscle and more athletic, and calmer. More confident when I'm confronted by like cops, people in stores, people at work, and other students who are being jerks. And calmer in all those situations too. I don't want to be stepped on in this world.

Well, lets put this into a bit of perspective, you do not want to be stepped on by the world, yet you name two people who were.

Not trying to make you feel bad, but you need to look a little deeper into your issue. All the things that you have said so far are mostly superficial and are only bandaids in solving your problem.

What I am trying to say is that character development is what will give you the power to keep others from controlling and manipulating your emotional state.

But first you have to set a goal that is specific to character development that defines who you are. What kind of character do you want to have and how do you want to see yourself. Most of what you talk about is how you want others to see you.

I also am not saying that it is wrong for you to want to be liked and admired by others, the problem is that if you try to use others as your set of standards you will never solve your problem because it is impossible to be who you are and have a complete confidence that everyone likes you.
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Old 12-01-2011, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Northern Colorado
4,932 posts, read 12,763,183 times
Reputation: 1364
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phazelwood View Post
Well, lets put this into a bit of perspective, you do not want to be stepped on by the world, yet you name two people who were.

Not trying to make you feel bad, but you need to look a little deeper into your issue. All the things that you have said so far are mostly superficial and are only bandaids in solving your problem.

What I am trying to say is that character development is what will give you the power to keep others from controlling and manipulating your emotional state.

But first you have to set a goal that is specific to character development that defines who you are. What kind of character do you want to have and how do you want to see yourself. Most of what you talk about is how you want others to see you.

I also am not saying that it is wrong for you to want to be liked and admired by others, the problem is that if you try to use others as your set of standards you will never solve your problem because it is impossible to be who you are and have a complete confidence that everyone likes you.
So I need to correct my own image of myself and not worry what others think of me, but work on what I think of myself.

I see myself skinny. And I would feel better looking at myself in the mirror with at least 4 oz of muscle. I weigh at 140 and 4 or 5 oz of muscle is just enough. Six months of heavy lifting, and after that just some continued gym work should help me reach that goal.
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Old 12-01-2011, 11:47 PM
 
Location: Arizona
28,956 posts, read 16,365,848 times
Reputation: 2296
"Those who operate from a position of intimidation are never calm or encouraging."

Just be yourself!
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Old 12-02-2011, 09:27 AM
 
5,925 posts, read 6,948,010 times
Reputation: 645
Quote:
Originally Posted by the city View Post
So I need to correct my own image of myself and not worry what others think of me, but work on what I think of myself.

I see myself skinny. And I would feel better looking at myself in the mirror with at least 4 oz of muscle. I weigh at 140 and 4 or 5 oz of muscle is just enough. Six months of heavy lifting, and after that just some continued gym work should help me reach that goal.

Your starting to get the idea, but let us take it a step further.

You are correct that you need to not worry what others think of you and work on how you think of yourself.

However, working out at the gym is not going to correct that inherantly.

I will give you a for instance. This about me, I personally wouldn't mind being big and bulked up muscular, not the showman type look where I got biceps as big as trees, but great tone and a certain ripped look.

Problem is, my body structure and genetics, just don't do it, I am strong, but I look like a couch potato and I have worked out and am in a physically laborious job, it is just how I am. So if I thought that my self image was dependant on how I wanted to look physically, I'd be in trouble.

I am not saying that you shouldn't go to the gym and that there is something wrong with wanting to tone up. I am saying that it would only be a bandaid for a deeper problem. What happens if you work out and still don't quite look like you want? What then, the tempatation for steroids may creep in or you may become obsessed and think you werent just working out hard enough and ultimatly your engaging in something that will not fix you. What happens if you do end up looking like you want. Do you think everyone will suddenly leave you alone and like you. Will you use your gained strength against someone? Will all your troubles be over because you have a body like you want (or perhaps you have only created an image that you think society will swoon over).

Just rambling there to reinforce the point that, where you need to be is to look at yourself and like yourself and then go to the gym because you will enjoy the work out, not go to the gym because you will think it will fix your self image, because in the long run it will not.
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Old 12-02-2011, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Northern Colorado
4,932 posts, read 12,763,183 times
Reputation: 1364
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phazelwood View Post
Your starting to get the idea, but let us take it a step further.

You are correct that you need to not worry what others think of you and work on how you think of yourself.

However, working out at the gym is not going to correct that inherantly.

I will give you a for instance. This about me, I personally wouldn't mind being big and bulked up muscular, not the showman type look where I got biceps as big as trees, but great tone and a certain ripped look.

Problem is, my body structure and genetics, just don't do it, I am strong, but I look like a couch potato and I have worked out and am in a physically laborious job, it is just how I am. So if I thought that my self image was dependant on how I wanted to look physically, I'd be in trouble.

I am not saying that you shouldn't go to the gym and that there is something wrong with wanting to tone up. I am saying that it would only be a bandaid for a deeper problem. What happens if you work out and still don't quite look like you want? What then, the tempatation for steroids may creep in or you may become obsessed and think you werent just working out hard enough and ultimatly your engaging in something that will not fix you. What happens if you do end up looking like you want. Do you think everyone will suddenly leave you alone and like you. Will you use your gained strength against someone? Will all your troubles be over because you have a body like you want (or perhaps you have only created an image that you think society will swoon over).

Just rambling there to reinforce the point that, where you need to be is to look at yourself and like yourself and then go to the gym because you will enjoy the work out, not go to the gym because you will think it will fix your self image, because in the long run it will not.
First, I was going to the gym in 2010 and put on some muscle and toned up. But I was also doing it the wrong way because my friend I worked out with was going to just tone.

I will never use steroids.

I won't use the new strength and muscles for bad. I just want to look myself in the mirror and know I'm muscular and that Ill be in better shape when I go hiking.
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