How do you submit to a husband who won't make a decision? (women, churches)
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Please do NOT give me the cliche about it being the wife's fault for being too bossy or not accepting the husbands request. That is not what I am dealing with here. (Although apparently much of the world likes to blame the wife when the husband is not doing his duties in the marriage, by what I read.)
My husband is and has always been apathetic. Yes, I saw it from the beginning and even though it was uncomfortable, I chose to ignore it. Or try to. But as our marriage has gone on, and life, it has increasingly caused huge problems- from raising children to running a business to dealing with, well, life.
I have dug into therapy, church, bible studies, and such in the last few years as our marriage became strained. I have learned I can only change me, and my actions. Win my husband over to Christianity through my actions. Do not nag him, do not try to be the Holy Spirit to him, but let go and let God.
However. Often I will wait and wait for him to make a decisions, and he says 'it really doesn't matter to me.' He has told me that he truly is Ok either way. So....someone has to make the call! I don't want to be a Jezebel! I am willing and ready to follow his lead, I yearn for it. He truly doesn't have an opinion. How can I submit and follow and help when he won't say what he wants? I am frustrated, hurt, and tired. I pray to God, ask him for help.
Today, I am angry. I am angry that he never gets angry. He doesn't seem to 'feel' anything. Truly. According to Joyce Meyers, the purpose of anger is to let us know when we are being mistreated. I am tired of reading article after article telling the wife it is her fault if the husband isn't leading. That she needs to back off in order for him to do this. Well, what if he STILL doesn't take his role in the marriage? It is not always the wife's fault. From the beginning, when we were dating, it was like this. People say men do this because they fear the wife disagreeing with their decisions,etc. Well, that isn't the case here.
Simple...DO NOT SUBMIT. It is perfectly acceptable fore a WOMAN to be independent and FREE-THINKING.
Might I suggest reading JUDGES 4 to gain an understanding of what women are capable of and what GOD wants you to do!
Then CLOSE the bible, turn off Joyce Myers and the other TV evangelists, hire a babysitter or get the in-laws to watch the kids and go out on the town--have dinner and see a really cheesy movie that makes you both LAUGH.
Everyone's pretty much already said it. Make the decisions and get over it. There's nothing complicated about it. There's no real reason for you to be upset about it. If you wanted a husband who would require you to submit (why anyone would want a partner like that is beyond me), then perhaps you should have thought of that sooner.
Respect who he is. Some people are laid back and easy going. He might not get angry much. That's not a bad thing. A lack of anger is not a lack of emotion. Maybe he's rather stoic. I don't know, I've never met him. But don't hold him to an unrealistic standard that you assumed men should always be.
Ignore what Joyce Meyers said about anger. It's irrelevant, and frankly untrue. Listen to what I'll say about love: it's acceptance of what is. You can't love something until you acknowledge it's true nature. Your husband is a passive man who is easy going and emotionally more stable that most humans. Accept it and be happy you have someone like that. And if you can't be happy with someone like that, then it's up to you to decide where you go from there.
I do not think you should ignore your feelings and your anger. Your husband makes decisions every day. He decides what to wear every day, yes? So ,he is more than capable of making decisions. He chooses not to participate in the one's important to you.
There is no partnership in marriage if only one of you makes every important decision. One does not submit to someone they cannot respect.
My advice? Ditch Joyce Meyer and seek a qualified therapist for some brief therapy, for you. His passiveness is the presenting problem in a strained marriage. A strained marriage indicates more than one problem.
There is no blame, or responsibility when one never makes a decision. Ignoring your anger and resentment can be soul crushing.
Just claim your husband and your children saved to Christ , and let Jesus do the work through you as your first ministry , claim to Jesus in your prayers that they receive all their days in health and vitalities ..........................Then in keeping the peace in your marriage , Just strive to take care , and remain selfless loving , and when issues come up , let go and quick to forgive .......................And if you have issues with your husband then let them go and get over it , and with peace in your life , is the purpose of God in all these submit to husband rules that churches have ................Careful with Joyce Myers as she confesses that she does not like Christians
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