Saturday joke thread (woman, church, prayer, priest)

[Miss Blue]

Got a joke, a funny church bulletin, anything to make us smile or laugh out loud..lets share something happy on this rather dull cd weekend..

Daily prayer

Dear Lord,I'm proud to say, so far today I've got along alright;
I have not gossiped, whined or bragged, or had a single fight.

I haven't lost my temper once, or criticized my mate.
I have not lied, I have not cried, or loudly cursed my fate.

So far today I've not one time been grumpy or morose,
I have not been spiteful, cold or vain, self-centered or verbose.

But, Lord, I'm going to need your help throughout the hours ahead,
So give me the strength, Dear Lord,
for now I'm getting out of bed.

[Huckleberry3911948]

what do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes
nothing i already told her twice

[Oakback]

In their interest to understand each other, a priest and a rabbi decided to hang out with each other for a while.

The first thing they did together was to attend a proffessional boxing match.

When one of the boxers made the sign of the cross on his chest before entering the ring, the rabbi asked the priest what it meant.

"Not a damn thing if you can't box" replied the priest.