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I can't believe I forgot to mention that! My roommate is transferring for the fall for financial reasons but she is attached at the hip to her mom. I go to school in westchester an she's from LI, she says its about 1.5 hours but the entire maybe 2 months of school her mom would come every Saturday morning and once during the week. She would come early an be all loud so I always woke up. Early. On a Saturday :|
I mean I miss my parents but I don't need to see them as often as she does. She calls her mom to come over to do her hair (it's permed and is a bit difficult to do I will give her that) but you are 18 y.o mommy won't be around all the time.
Sorry for the rant, but the point is if you are dependent on your parents for every last whim work on that.
LI... Long Island??
Cause if it is, that would be so ironic... Roommate is from Long Island.
This is what my daughter said (just finished her first semester) and what I experienced as well. She really enjoys how different the social scene is from high school and how, outside of a few social circles, no one gives a darn about whether or not you drink/smoke, what you wear, who your boyfriend is, etc.
She also said it was a bit of an adjustment not having anyone there to tell her what to do, no one there to tell her she had to be home by midnight, no one there to lecture her about getting a bad grade, no one there to tell her to study for tomorrow's test, no one to remind her what's due tomorrow, etc. Fortunately she is pretty self-motivated, but I could definitely see where it would be a struggle for some students..
Definitely. I was always the kid who was pretty disciplined, and didn't have to be gotten after by parents, even in high school, to get stuff done, so this wasn't a big learning curve for me, but for many students, it absolutely is. And in my experience as an educator, it's gotten to be a lot more of an issue. Fewer and fewer students take responsibility for their own learning at a younger age, and that makes going off on your own and doing what you need to do under your own steam that much more of a rude awakening.
I will say that the social scene of college was about a million times better in college than high school, because, honestly, nobody cared what you did or didn't do. Outside of the Greek scene, which had a pretty negligible presence, cliques were essentially nonexistent. I couldn't say this is the case at all schools, obviously, which is why getting a feel for different colleges as a prospective student, and carefully considering what the atmosphere is like and if it will be a good fit is so important.
Your roommate was at least 2000 miles away. While the wake-up calls are nutty, as is the intervention for routine problems, you have not walked a mile in her moccasins, as your family is in-state, and you could get home easily if you had to. I also don't understand you being so proud of giving your family the short shrift. Some day you may wish they were close by so you could see them.
I never had a close relationship with my family, especially my parents, because of personal reasons. So that's probably part of the reason why I never did. I'm a little on the extreme. My in-state friend chose to go home once a month this semester. I chose not too, though she extended invitations to me to come with her every time.
None of my friends, especially the one from Fairbanks, had this issue. Only her. Her mother was willing to put up with this, and so was she. My roommate would spend all day in the dorm when she wasn't in class. If she wasn't doing homework or studying, instead of going out, would spend all night Skyping her old friends and calling her mother. Daily night calls to her mother would last roughly two hours, remember, this would be on top of the other stuff I said earlier. The rest of the night would be spent to her NY friends.
I never had a close relationship with my family, especially my parents, because of personal reasons. So that's probably part of the reason why I never did. I'm a little on the extreme. My in-state friend chose to go home once a month this semester. I chose not too, though she extended invitations to me to come with her every time.
None of my friends, especially the one from Fairbanks, had this issue. Only her. Her mother was willing to put up with this, and so was she. My roommate would spend all day in the dorm when she wasn't in class. If she wasn't doing homework or studying, instead of going out, would spend all night Skyping her old friends and calling her mother. Daily night calls to her mother would last roughly two hours, remember, this would be on top of the other stuff I said earlier. The rest of the night would be spent to her NY friends.
It's a pretty common thing to notice that college freshman, in particular, have a really wide spectrum of attachment to their families, hometown areas, etc. People who have closer relationships are going to keep more in touch, people who don't, aren't. There's really no point in judging that and that alone. And different schools have different atmospheres that sometimes play into this.
I attended a small college that was in a little town less than an hour from a large metropolis. Over 50% of the student body hailed from the city, but it was far enough away (and far enough north, i.e. crappy enough driving weather much of the school year) that it was not a commuter school, it was almost completely residential. The weekends were another story, though, especially in the residence halls that were all or mostly first-year students. Although not close enough to the city to easily commute, it was certainly close enough to go home for a weekend, and many, many people did at first. I had floormates who went home to the city every weekend my freshman year, and later, when I was an RA to an all-freshman floor, it was much the same. I lived 500 miles and two states away, so I really hardly ever went home, but talked often to my family, just the same. Once in a while, I'd accompany a friend home as invited who lived in the nearby city, but I didn't make it a regular thing. It was more interesting to me to be a part of life on campus. Once people got past freshman year, the running home every weekend to hang out with high school friends and family eased off quite a bit, though.
My brother went to a suburban college that was mostly commuter students, and very few people lived in the residence halls, by contrast. Almost everyone lived at home.
Being in close contact with family may or may not be a hindrance, depending on the student. For me, it was an important support network, but only in the calling to get advice, sounding board sense...getting some perspective from people who know me best. It definitely wasn't a "thing" at that point in time for parents to call and ream out professors on their kids' behalf like happens now. I was in school before that kind of nonsense was in vogue.
Some kids can't function apart from a parent, though. As an RA, I could tell which of my freshmen weren't going to make it, pretty early on. As an RA, it was tough, because you could only do so much by way of offering resources, etc. I had a girl who was an only child, who was very close to her mom, and whose dad had just walked out. She was in no shape to be starting school, and her mom was very clingy and dependent, since her daughter was what she had left. I was surprised when the girl made it as long as the first semester before withdrawing from school and transferring to one where she could live at home and take care of her mom.
Why is that sad. It takes 2 years to deepen your technical knowledge in engineering. Only then can you effectively conduct experiments and relate the experimental results to the theory and draw appropriate conclusions. For example, tell me how you will ascertain the experimental value of an engine's efficiency without calculating a theoretical base value. Additionally recall that its not possible to calculate the theoretical value without understanding the mathematics and physics involved in calculating thermodynamic efficiency. Writing a lab report requires a lot of built up prior knowledge regarding the concept used. Its not as easy as you think.
It's a pretty common thing to notice that college freshman, in particular, have a really wide spectrum of attachment to their families, hometown areas, etc. People who have closer relationships are going to keep more in touch, people who don't, aren't. There's really no point in judging that and that alone. And different schools have different atmospheres that sometimes play into this.
I attended a small college that was in a little town less than an hour from a large metropolis. Over 50% of the student body hailed from the city, but it was far enough away (and far enough north, i.e. crappy enough driving weather much of the school year) that it was not a commuter school, it was almost completely residential. The weekends were another story, though, especially in the residence halls that were all or mostly first-year students. Although not close enough to the city to easily commute, it was certainly close enough to go home for a weekend, and many, many people did at first. I had floormates who went home to the city every weekend my freshman year, and later, when I was an RA to an all-freshman floor, it was much the same. I lived 500 miles and two states away, so I really hardly ever went home, but talked often to my family, just the same. Once in a while, I'd accompany a friend home as invited who lived in the nearby city, but I didn't make it a regular thing. It was more interesting to me to be a part of life on campus. Once people got past freshman year, the running home every weekend to hang out with high school friends and family eased off quite a bit, though.
My brother went to a suburban college that was mostly commuter students, and very few people lived in the residence halls, by contrast. Almost everyone lived at home.
Being in close contact with family may or may not be a hindrance, depending on the student. For me, it was an important support network, but only in the calling to get advice, sounding board sense...getting some perspective from people who know me best. It definitely wasn't a "thing" at that point in time for parents to call and ream out professors on their kids' behalf like happens now. I was in school before that kind of nonsense was in vogue.
Some kids can't function apart from a parent, though. As an RA, I could tell which of my freshmen weren't going to make it, pretty early on. As an RA, it was tough, because you could only do so much by way of offering resources, etc. I had a girl who was an only child, who was very close to her mom, and whose dad had just walked out. She was in no shape to be starting school, and her mom was very clingy and dependent, since her daughter was what she had left. I was surprised when the girl made it as long as the first semester before withdrawing from school and transferring to one where she could live at home and take care of her mom.
Glad to see you are a good RA. My RA is never in the dorm. I am getting a new RA next semester, though.
I am roughly two hours from home. So similar to your experience, but my school isn't small with roughly 40,000 students. Most of my dorm consists of California students in Greek life, and then us Phoenicians. Most of what I heard from others was that they wanted to go home, especially in the first half of the semester. It started to die down by the end, until finals week. The others who came from Phoenix, who had a car, typically went home. I knew one who still had a job in Phoenix and made weekend trips to work. Commuting would not be too difficult, but the I-10 is not fun to drive... at all.
I would say my school has a strong sense of community. Tucson isn't necessarily small, but I always run into people I know. And I love this. It is like living in a small town where most people know each other. It makes me not want to go home, to where I practically have no one. All of my other friends went away. I know a lot of schools where it is more like a city, just less unison among the students. That would play a lot differently as well, but it ultimately depends on the person.
Personal discipline to sit at a desk daily with full attention on homework for a given period of time. Usually this increases throughout the Freshman year. Must also wake up on time, attend all classes, and stay sober.
Verbal and written communication skills. Must know how to effectively express ideas and make a logical and compelling argument. Requires critical thinking skills, insight, knowledge of alternate viewpoints, listening skills, rational thought, and creativity.
Basic consideration for others. Will have to interact with instructors, peers in project assignments, and employers for internships.
And hopefully some fire in the belly. An adventurous spirit, willingness to try new things and consider new ideas, an exploration of coursework and experiences, and passionate drive.
Cause if it is, that would be so ironic... Roommate is from Long Island.
Yeah lol
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