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I'm going to be following this story with interest, and rooting for our home girl! OP, you'll look back on this class and realize the whole issue was just a matter of getting your feet wet, and shaking off your self-doubts. You'll laugh about how you were intimidated by an introductory course. In the meantime, just put one foot in front of the other, step by step. We'll all have an online party when you finish!
If you can truly afford it, try it and see. You obviously are motivated to try this. And, since you have no previous experience in this, who knows? You might do good...you might totally flunk out. So what? You're 49. Surely by now, you understand the idea "that's not going to work, so, on to plan B." If you don't understand that, your problem isn't a lack of formal education, you just never learned anything from your life.
If this was a stem degree, I'd warn you more against it. That stuff (for the uninitiated) is for twenty-somethings. But English? That could be anybody's forte.
Just trash that "I'm going to flunk" attitude first, and foremost. No, babe. You go in there with a "what are these idiots even doing in here?" attitude. That's where you start. Worry about the outcome later. And English? Just remember, suss that instructor out, and thereby engineer your "schmlirch - schmlirch" tactics (capiche?). That's one thing I learned fast with my humanities courses in college. Never got anything but an "A". Ever. Ivy U, by the way.
Just trash that "I'm going to flunk" attitude first, and foremost. No, babe. You go in there with a "what are these idiots even doing in here?" attitude. That's where you start. Worry about the outcome later. And English? Just remember, suss that instructor out, and thereby engineer your "schmlirch - schmlirch" tactics (capiche?). That's one thing I learned fast with my humanities courses in college. Never got anything but an "A". Ever. Ivy U, by the way.
If this was a stem degree, I'd warn you more against it. That stuff (for the uninitiated) is for twenty-somethings. But English? That could be anybody's forte.
Bull.
There is no shutoff mechanism for one's ability to learn science/technology/engineering/mathematically-relater material at age 30. It, too, could be anybody's forte if they have the requisite interest and aptitude.
JerZ, I don't have any words of wisdom for you other than those you've already received. Sounds like you have classic test anxiety and I imagine that there are lots of resources out there for that.
Also, the fact that you agonized over asking the question about R&J also shows anxiety--that pesky kind where you toss and turn at night worrying about something you said. I think everyone does that now and again. I know I do.
I would have had the same question about R&J. And I would have been glad you asked, because I never raised my hand in class to ask a question as I was much too shy and afraid of looking stupid.
When I was in college I often felt I wasn't "getting" the same notions and concepts that other students were getting, but I still managed to get it done. Often on test questions or on papers I would get comments like, "Not what I was expecting, but okay," or something similar.
So stay in school and try to enjoy it. I'm sure you have a lot to offer in all of your classes and that your professors enjoy having a bright and engaged student in the room. I look forward to hearing about your successes.
Quick backstory: I never went to school and it wasn't for the reasons that would seem obvious - lack of money, lack of family backup, threats to throw me out if I went, and other reasons. And that's all I have to say 'bout that...
It wasn't because of all that. I have to be honest with myself. It wasn't even because I became pregnant fairly soon after high school graduation (by my then-fiance). It was because I was afraid.
I'm 49 now, and I have just taken my first two college classes ever, at a JC. Tentatively, my major is Language Arts. I may switch to English as my major though functionally/practically I don't think it will necessarily make a difference.
What have I always been afraid of? Failure. I have some sort of...I don't know, issue, which produces a huge test anxiety. I remember studying and studying and studying for tests, being confident - almost cocky - that i knew all the information, then I'd sit down to the test and...blank out. I'd stare and stare at the words. They would jumble together. I CAN NOT explain this. Suddenly I didn't KNOW any more.
Also, certain concepts just wouldn't come to me. I began to fall farther and farther behind. I was embarrassed and didn't want to ask for help. I had been told earlier in my childhood that I was bright. Admitting I was (and am) average at best would have killed me (at that time).
And then I have this odd thing where if I see a bunch of "details" in one small space, I begin not to be able to interpret any of them. It's odd but I've always experienced it.
So I never even applied to a single college. I never even took my SATs. I was relieved to be away from the place where I felt truly stupid: school.
Now it's so many years later - 31 of them, actually. I finally have bitten the bullet. And I've just taken my first two classes: English 101 (writing & comp) and Intro to Shakespeare.
I ask the STUPIDEST questions. I am sure my teachers already hate me. I actually asked in the prologue to Romeo and Juliet why Shakespeare gives away the ending right there. It made me sound LIKE A BOX OF ROCKS. Why did I open my mouth? Duh, the CHILDREN in that class knew the answer. The professor didn't even have to do the answering. I'm sure he thinks now that I've never read a book in my life. In reality I am never without a book, not even in the bath tub (reading is, actually, why I take baths instead of showers). Further I'm sure the professor thinks I've never read any Shakespeare. The truth is that I've always loved the Bard though I haven't always understood his secrets and yes, I've read R&J (among others).
I feel like I'm going to fail. I keep missing the obvious. Even these kids less than half my age get it. I don't. What is wrong with me?
What made me think I could ever do this???
Just...crying right now. My worst fears - that I "can't" do this - are coming true. I'm facing them...but they're real and true anyway.
Any other adult students feel this way? Should I just give it up? What if I fail? How do I "do" this? I don't know how! I can't even imagine what the teachers are thinking. Should I just shut up in class? Try to limp my way through? Anyone have any advice?
I was an English major with a concentration in Shakespeare. I do not know the answer to that question (it was almost 30 years ago, but I have re-read and attended productions of it since). Your question shows you read and are thinking about the text. That puts you ahead of 40% of your class. There are no stupid questions. If you do not know the answer, that is what you are there for. You will learn more from your fellow students than you will in the classroom. Do not worry about how old they are, they probably studied R & J in high school a year ago. Don't worry about what they think of you, learn from them, learn from everyone. That is what you are paying for. Remember, you are paying the college to teach you. Get your money's worth every way you can. DO NOT shut up in class and do not fail to go talk with the professor during his office hours. You are paying for it, use it. Get to know the prof. They will help you (most of them) and it helps to get to know them. You may end up needing a reference from them for grad school or whatever.
In English classes you can write about anything, nothing is stupid, just remember always write about sex. That is what the professors like. Once you learn that, you will improve your grades. Write about sex, do not worry how absurd it is as long as you can back t up with plausible reasoning and references to the text. Remember Sex = A. I once wrote a paper arguing that Hamlet was gay. Pretty silly, but I supported it with examples and quotes. Even though it was blatantly silly, it was drafted reasonably well and the quotes in a vacuum could be interpreted that way. A+. Professor liked it so much he said I did not need to take the final if I did not want to.
I attended a commuter school rather than a dorm school. As a result, we had a lot of older students. Many of them were very worried about seeming smarter and more mature than the 18 - 20 year olds. most of them did not do well and not many completed their degree. Others just accepted we were all students and all equal in our education level. They went to other students half their age for help. They did well.
There was one lady who was a nurse. I helped her with her computer classes even though I was an English major. In return, she helped me with health issues and bought me scotch. I never thought less of her because she needed help. It made me happy to be able to help her. (The scotch made me happy as well). I nicknamed her "mom" (not sure she liked that all that much)
When I was a senior, one of my favorite professors got really sick, at the time he could not tell the school about it (he had aids and would have been fired), I covered some of his classes for him and another student covered others. One of my classes (composition for engineers) had a lot of older students in it. Many of them could barely string a comprehensible sentence together. I did not look down on them. They were freaking engineer students and they had real jobs. They were way ahead of me in many ways. Instead I sat down and worked with the ones who were having the most trouble and they got better (some didn't and barely passed, but a few got better). I was happy to help. (Especially one gal, we ended up dating for a while. Wholly improper - not just because she was 30 and I was 21, but because I was filling in as her professor, but then I was illegally teaching the class anyway. At least illegally as to college rules, probably did not break any laws.)
My brother was like you. Terrified of failure. He did not go to college then years later too classes at a CC. He would be getting all As, then finals came. I would call him up "How did that calc final go?" "I could not go, my shoelace broke and I could not find another one and since it is winter, I could not go around tromping through the snow with my shoe falling off, so I finally duct taped it on, but by that time it was too late to go." There was always some excuse. If you do not try, you cannot fail Car broke down, cat died, friend needed a ride to the airport. . . I do not think he ever took a final. Never got a degree either. Now he paints vehicles for a living. He is very eccentric, but he is also very likely the smartest person in the State, probably in the top 1000 in the country and he is working a paint booth because he was afraid to fail. Aggravating.
Do not be a coward. Go take a class at a different college that you cannot possibly pass and fail it. take trigonometry, or transformation generative grammar, or the logic of probability and possibility, or something crazy hard and let yourself fail it. Then you will see that you can fail and it is not the end of the world. It means nothing.
I had to drop a political science class because I was failing it. I failed a summer course at a community college once (I liked to say it was becasue I went to too many parties, but it was too hard for me). Still I ended up at one of the top three law schools in the USA. Failing something is not the end of the world. Get up and try again. Incidentally I re-took the same class at the same CC with an easier professor and worked harder, and got help from another student (who was younger than me) and passed the following year. I did not get a good grade, but I only needed a B or C for the credit to transfer. The transfer grade does not go into your GPA. That allowed me to avoid taking any regular hard science classes at my university.
Different people have different skills and abilities. Today I am pretty much a big shot lawyer. However I was talking with a project manager who is at least 20 years younger than me about a claim. Someone claimed 1700 hours were incurred in a four week period and we needed to figure out how many people they were claiming we on the job each day. I tried with my calculator and messed it up, got confused and gave up, she figured it out in her head. Nothing to be embarrassed about. She cannot do what I do, and I cannot do what she does. Age and experience are irrelevant. We have different skill sets.
One more example. I had a good friend in law school. He was brilliant. A lot smarter than me. He worked hard, did great, but could not take tests. he just froze up. He would have failed, except the school figured out what was gong on and made special accommodations for him. He became a brilliant lawyer (not a litigator, I think, the failure under pressure would not allow that), and a great composer. I did well in law school and well as a litigator. However He was undoubtedly smarter than me and I certainly cannot compose. Cant even keep a beat or read music.
Some people are good at pawning themselves off as smart in classes, others are not. Different skill sets. It is a skill you have to develop. Some people never figure out that to English professors, everything is about sex and they cannot do well in lit classes (oh with female professors, it is generally better to make it about gender inequality, they seem to like sex too, but not as much). You may struggle with public speaking or with classroom performance anxiety, but the odds are very good not one person in your class is published (and that might include your professor). The trick is to just stop worrying about impressing people and remember you are there to learn. If you already knew it all and had no stupid questions to ask, you would be the professor, or maybe God.
Last edited by Coldjensens; 08-30-2016 at 04:18 PM..
In my state Romeo & Juliet is required in HS. It is not unusually for an English teacher to spend several weeks, maybe even a full quarter discussing it. So, your classmates had four or five or even nine weeks, each and every school day, discussing Romeo and Juliet just a couple of years earlier. No wonder they seemed to know all of the answers.
I didn't do R&J in high school. My classes did Macbeth, Hamlet and A Midsummer Night's Dream. I actually remember the "tomorrow" speech from Macbeth (33 years later!!) and sometimes recite it in overdone British accented drama to make my kids laugh. I shake my fist and everything and I do an 80s-metal two-fists with the head thrown back in broken anguish and whatever the Renaissance version of existentialism would have been. Gotta entertain those kids somehow and Disneyland is expensive, so...
Anyway, it's true that these students did R&J already then they'd already know some of the answers the teacher is asking for. And they'd know it from less than 33 years ago, I'm going to assume, since they all look like babies. Smart babies, but babies.
With that said I talked out in class today a lot! The teacher encourages tons of participation. I think he's expecting everyone to engage at least a little and there are some quiet ones in the class so I am sitting on my hands most of the time not to just jabber away and to let somebody else ask the stupid questions.
But the teacher seemed to like my input...all the input, really...from everybody. I heard some GREAT points I honest to God never once considered even after having read R&J many times on my own in the past. (But never fully understanding certain parts of it, certain points, etc. which is what attracted me to this class. I feel like there are secrets I'm just not getting.)
I wonder what these mysterious pop quizzes will be about...the teacher said he's not as into memorization, so..hmmmm? Possibly themes and the like...I guess I'll find out at some point...
The input given on this thread is huge...huge, you guys...you have no idea...thank you so much.
I went back in my 30's and felt invigorated! I always felt like I was intelligent but since I hadn't gone to college and attended a ridiculous private high school that didn't teach anything I had nothing to measure myself by. My love of reading and natural curiosity made the soft subject easy for me and my life experience made me more self assured than anyone coming right from high school could ever be. But when it came to Algebra I struggled and had panic attacks during tests. I don't know why really, I passed placement exams and have a logical brain that let me be a computer programmer for years so apparently I'm wired for it, but something blocked me and because of that I settled for an AA instead of going for a 4 year degree. I wish I'd just hired a tutor instead of letting it stop me because I was on a roll!
Another little secret. Want to sound smart in class? Get the Arden edition and read the notes.
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OP, you'll look back on this class and realize the whole issue was just a matter of getting your feet wet, and shaking off your self-doubts. You'll laugh about how you were intimidated by an introductory course. In the meantime, just put one foot in front of the other, step by step. We'll all have an online party when you finish! 
