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Over the holidays, my son worked on a huge project with many other professionals in his field. He was easily the youngest by 15 years. It made him realize he still has a lot to learn, professionally and personally. He is going into a very high pressure field, and although he truly loved the experience, it also opened his eyes to that he has a ways to go.
He has decided to go to college next year, unless schools are still shut down in that state, in which case he will take a gap year and work.
IMO this is awesome news. As he's seen some of the occupational demands tied to his preferred career it'll likely give college more meaning.
Junior colleges or community colleges are NOT easier than four year colleges. This is a common misperception.
Their courses must meet all accreditation standards for transfer credits. They are usually cheaper which is why so many students go to them first and then get their degree from a 4 year school. If your son wants to go- why not let him go? He'll quickly discover whether he'll be successful.
However, if your son is truly a good and outstanding artist- he doesn't need any college to be successful. If he's an "artist" like most of us, he needs job training.
I really wish people would stop with this. JC/CC overall degree of difficulty per class is nearly always lower than the same at 4 year schools. States forcing 4 year schools to accept JC/CC courses is a separate matter.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,747 posts, read 58,102,528 times
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I vote PT work (in his field while that work is available) and PT college in conjuction with work, while he sorts out his academic abilities and skillset.
(I would have a different response for a career MANDATING college completion for initial job entry... enginnering, medical, science, teaching...)
College degree is not essential for his initial success in his chosen field (more 'craft / skill based' than knowledge). He can complete his degree slightly delayed, and not affect his career success. However... if he takes 4+ yrs away from his desired experience and career field (art) and spends that time in college... he may never get the 'learning / apprenticeship' opportunity he has now, or may no longer have the desire to pursue it. +/-.
How many people do you know who had a 100% different outcome in the next 6 yrs than they invisioned at age 18...? (I would guess most are on a different path by the time they exit college.) I was sure that I had 5 yrs FT apprenticeship served by the day I exited college. That paid extra lifetime dividends in my skilled trade, and college gave me several other avenues to pursue during career. But... my passion and most significant contributions (ind pay / income) were in following my first love & talent.
Run the numbers..
A zillion 'cookie cutter' college grads
Very few 'accomplished artisans'
Even fewer artisans with college degree in their field. (Good idea to eventual have one, but not essential to the early (most creative) years in that career path.
$0.02
(Dealing with the reverse of this issue with one of my adult kids... Great college experience, great career for 15 yrs, but... wishing they had pursued their first love / desire of career (which was 'artsy' and quite different than highly demanding certifications and responsibility that they now deliver). Not uncommon feelings to have.
My son’s employer is actively encouraging him to not go to college next year. I know that the majority of posts here are in favor of work over school. I understand that.
However, the reasons that my son’s employer gives are super frustrating to me.
He tells my son that he will hate the other state.
He tells my son no one else will hire him (but that at the same time, that he is super talented and he always has a job waiting for him.)
He tells my son he will hate going to “art school”, that he already knows everything they will teach (I don’t really believe this). He tells my son he won’t make friends. My son talks to him about personal choices he has made and his employer laughs at him.
The current employer is indeed giving my son some excellent professional opportunities, but I am concerned about my son’s development as a whole person, and not just the career side of him.
IDK, maybe we are giving our son too much of a choice, probably because of the history with the learning disabilities.
I’m not sure if anyone can give any advice. I am just so frustrated. Thanks for “listening.”
Last edited by calgirlinnc; 02-19-2021 at 08:21 PM..
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,747 posts, read 58,102,528 times
Reputation: 46237
Doesn't sound like your son has a choice while under your door. (You will lobby to enforce you're will, not his.)
Glad I was done with that anguish when I left home at age 16.
By age 18 the roles where reversed and I was caring for my parents. They became the recipients of my choices, not theirs. Glad they had prepared me well in advance of needing to execute decisions for them.
YOUR Son...
He's going to college (not that I agree, or need to).
Done deal for him.
Helicopter parents?
My parents were "crash and burn", and left a lot of scars for all the family, and staff of their 7 businesses that burned too.
As kids, we were all wearing asbestos suits by then, so survived (with trauma)
All is well, just slightly singed.
He tells my son no one else will hire him (but that at the same time, that he is super talented and he always has a job waiting for him.)
He tells my son he will hate going to “art school”, that he already knows everything they will teach (I don’t really believe this). He tells my son he won’t make friends. My son talks to him about personal choices he has made and his employer laughs at him.
Hmm... I'm not really impressed by this "employer." Doesn't really sound like he has your son's best interests in mind. I've also seen from your previous posts that either you or your son feel this job is a sure thing that can be counted on. I would just caution your son against putting all his eggs in one basket. Someone who is being this controlling with an 18 year old kid... I wouldn't count on them being reliable. You also posted the thing about Josh Groban... then that your son did some work over the holidays and realized he was the youngest in the group by 15 years. Your son may realize he isn't happy there.
I say all of this (as a fine arts major who got a degree and was steadily employed after college) as a lead in that I would suggest he may want to go to college, junior, community, 4 year, something. You've said he's not really a sculptor so I have no idea what he really does. Many of my friends who majored in fine arts got their degree and wound up doing something outside of the arts ultimately for their careers. But I think for those of us artsy folk, having a plan and a backup plan is always prudent.
So I would vote to encourage him to go to junior college. He's young. Let him have some normal experiences with peers. I would also encourage him to take a few regular classes like English and Math even if it's hard. Fine arts majors DON'T need very many of those to graduate. They'd probably be easier at a community college. And if he eventually gets a four-year degree that he can fall back on if "sculpting" temporarily hits a rough patch, he'll have it.
Doesn't sound like your son has a choice while under your door. (You will lobby to enforce you're will, not his.)
—-
YOUR Son...
He's going to college (not that I agree, or need to).
Done deal for him.
Helicopter parents?
No, I don’t think we are helicopter parents. We’ve sent our son on wilderness trips, to extended sleep away camps, etc. We’re willing to send him to college halfway across the country.
Also when I talk to my son about working 50+ hours a week, starting this summer...he says that is not what he wants right now.
I just think we are more aware of the whole person he is than his employer is. He’s had some health issues over the past few years we are still getting sorted out and that type of thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitkatbar
Hmm... I'm not really impressed by this "employer." Doesn't really sound like he has your son's best interests in mind. I've also seen from your previous posts that either you or your son feel this job is a sure thing that can be counted on. I would just caution your son against putting all his eggs in one basket. Someone who is being this controlling with an 18 year old kid... I wouldn't count on them being reliable.
This sums up a lot of what I think. We just don’t see the downside to having our son receive more training from other people too.
Quote:
So I would vote to encourage him to go to junior college. He's young. Let him have some normal experiences with peers.
I agree.
Quote:
I would also encourage him to take a few regular classes like English and Math even if it's hard. Fine arts majors DON'T need very many of those to graduate. They'd probably be easier at a community college. And if he eventually gets a four-year degree that he can fall back on if "sculpting" temporarily hits a rough patch, he'll have it.
Good points, thanks.
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