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The three of us agree that the online portion of classes is not beneficial for my son, compared to the opportunity he has to actually be working on projects. He would feel isolated and bored I think, and I don’t think tuition is worth the price for online classes.
My son is not yanking my chain. I think he has been trying to honor what is important to me (college) and what all of his peers are doing (college) with what he wants to do. Last night he told me, “mom, I want to work.”
He has some unique opportunities through work...
And when the school opens back up for full in person learning, then we can revisit the issue.
I agree this is the best course of action for several reasons. If your son is really talented, work experience is worth more than school. Eric Clapton never studied music after all. If your son is not that talented or if the money he can earn with his art is not satisfactory, he will have a chance to reexamine his priorities. He won't learn this in school, he can only learn it in the marketplace.
At one point while in college I started painting with oils. I had done several canvases and thought I was pretty good. I was working part time in a department store and my boss said he would introduce me to the art buyer and to bring my best canvas to work. I did that, it was a small canvas, nicely framed. The art buyer said he could give me $25 for it. I realized then that the cost of paints, canvas and frame had been more than $25. I also knew this was not a viable career choice.
Finally, if he is not interested in college he likely will not do well there.
I quit college after 10 weeks and went to work. After 8 months working hard as a mail clerk while people with degrees were taking it easy, chatting with co-workers, making several times my salary, it dawned on me what the benefit of a college degree was. I went back to school the following September and graduated with a BA four years later.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc
The three of us agree that the online portion of classes is not beneficial for my son, compared to the opportunity he has to actually be working on projects. He would feel isolated and bored I think, and I don’t think tuition is worth the price for online classes.
My son is not yanking my chain. I think he has been trying to honor what is important to me (college) and what all of his peers are doing (college) with what he wants to do. Last night he told me, “mom, I want to work.”
He has some unique opportunities through work...
And when the school opens back up for full in person learning, then we can revisit the issue.
So....my son just graduated HS and is now starting to work full time. He is now on a salary; I think it’s a pretty average salary for an entry level position...not sure if he would earn more with a certificate / degree or not? Or if he earns regular pay raises over the next four years, if he will be ahead of the game compared to newly minted college grads? (It’s a bit lower than was previously indicated so I have mixed emotions. Maybe I’m being silly?)
In any case, I’m looking at the next few years as if this were his college...we will be trying to assess how much he will learn, how he will mature, his professional experiences, if he makes contacts, how much he travels, and the like.
We still tell our son, college will be there if you decide to go next year or in 5 years. I do think at least this “gap year” will be good for him in terms of growth. Having said that, I don’t really expect him to go back to school at all.
Last edited by calgirlinnc; 05-30-2021 at 05:30 PM..
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Congrats to your son on this choice and progress.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc
Another update:
So....my son just graduated HS and is now starting to work full time. He is now on a salary;... ...
In any case, I’m looking at the next few years as if this were his college...
We still tell our son, college will be there if you decide to go next year or in 5 years. I do think at least this “gap year” will be good for him in terms of growth. Having said that, I don’t really expect him to go back to school at all.
#1, Do your son and yourself a big favor and NEVER project this attitude of defeatism to him. He may choose to go to college in 5 months, 5 yrs, 15 yrs...and be very successful with career and college when HE is ready and willing. (or not go at all)
... ahead of the game...
You and he are blessed...
#1, How many HS grads are working FT in a potential career in May of their HS graduation yr? Very few
#2, He IS way ahead of the game today.
#3, He can stay way ahead of the game by getting professional and career experience and exposure while his peers are spending dough they have not yet earned and partying on weekends trying to 'find themselves'. Potentially spending time and $$ while pursuing an EDU which will likely not be relevant to their interests or career.
#4 He will be very far ahead of the game if he stays employed in his field while pursuing EDU. He will KNOW what he wants to study, WHY he is in college and HOW that will apply to his current career and future objectives. And have Years of experience when he graduates!
we will be trying to assess how much he will learn, how he will mature, his professional experiences, if he makes contacts, how much he travels, and the like.
Don't miss this very opportune 'teachable moment' (chance to grow up and aquire 'real' life skills.)
#1 Consider matching his wages by at least 10% of his gross each paycheck directly into his Roth IRA (up to $6000/yr)
...a) Roth funds can be used for EDU without penalty.
...b) Teaching him the importance of systematic savings.
...c) Setting LT plans for future benefit.
...d) Teaching him the benefit of investing... Have him read "The Wealthy Barber", ~4 hr read.
...e) Engage him in adult responsibilities for managing finances, as in following Bogleheads as an investment strategy, very helpful forum + educational wiki. www.bogleheads.org https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started
#2 Begin to pass on responsibilities if he is living in the home. Divide utilities and property taxes and insurance by # of people under the same roof.
Later... add rent, food, car cost and insurance responsibility...
#3, LISTEN to him and his interests, especially travel interests especially if he is into an art career (as it sounds).
Subsidize and encourage him to explore while he is free to do so. Weekend trips, attending work related conferences and shows, learning vacations to art centers of the world. (Amsterdam and places in Italy are very informational and relatively inexpensive. $500 flight and hostels and eating like a local for $10 / day, riding public transit....)
#4, Help arrange professional contacts in his areas of interest (career and otherwise).. Purpose to find him experiences BEYOND his peer age group. I gave my kids $20 each time (20 yrs ago) and told them to take key people to lunch that I knew would engage them in purposeful learnings and experience. (I sent them to friends who were Insurance Broker, Stock broker, Banker, Independent business owners and Real Estate investors, commercial and military pilots, skilled craftsmen, Inventors, scientists, engineers, Builders, Fire and Police Chiefs, School Board and City Council members, farmers, teachers...). Many years later, they still meet with our insurance broker and RE friends and have developed many great learnings and friendships. I note these contacts are now on my kid's Linked In contacts and several of them have provided references. My kids are very engaged in community service and cross generational friendships and service.
As you observe the adult life of your child, I trust you will be pleasantly surprised as we have been.
Kids are amazing, young and old. Boys really need to find and establish responsibilites and their confidence and place in the world.
Be encouraging and proud of them.
Set them free!! (to fail / to succeed)
Stealth Rabbit, thank you for this post...so much information to digest and come back to. I love the idea of matching him on savings.
I was not trying to sound defeatist with my last sentence; I just am trying to readjust my own expectations and the path I was originally thinking of, to his own expectations and path he is forging for himself.
I can see how that may sound though and I will keep your advice in mind.
Leave it up to him. He sounds like he has been making good choices so far. I was a university grad who was earning minimum wage working part time at a liquor store a year after I graduated. Money enough to be independent is important, more than that is just keeping score. A job you love doing is rare and one of the best thing life can give you along with a partner you love. It's early days. Your son will know what to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc
Another update:
So....my son just graduated HS and is now starting to work full time. He is now on a salary; I think it’s a pretty average salary for an entry level position...not sure if he would earn more with a certificate / degree or not? Or if he earns regular pay raises over the next four years, if he will be ahead of the game compared to newly minted college grads? (It’s a bit lower than was previously indicated so I have mixed emotions. Maybe I’m being silly?)
In any case, I’m looking at the next few years as if this were his college...we will be trying to assess how much he will learn, how he will mature, his professional experiences, if he makes contacts, how much he travels, and the like.
We still tell our son, college will be there if you decide to go next year or in 5 years. I do think at least this “gap year” will be good for him in terms of growth. Having said that, I don’t really expect him to go back to school at all.
Leave it up to him. He sounds like he has been making good choices so far. I was a university grad who was earning minimum wage working part time at a liquor store a year after I graduated. Money enough to be independent is important, more than that is just keeping score. A job you love doing is rare and one of the best thing life can give you along with a partner you love. It's early days. Your son will know what to do.
Good advice, thank you. Letting go and being patient!...I’m working on it!
To be in a salaried position directly after graduating from HS is pretty darned good. Work experience is important. If he wants to take a couple of classes at the community college while he works FT he would have that option. It sounds as though your son is getting off to a great start!
To be in a salaried position directly after graduating from HS is pretty darned good. Work experience is important. If he wants to take a couple of classes at the community college while he works FT he would have that option. It sounds as though your son is getting off to a great start!
Thank you...!
I appreciate all the advice I’ve gotten on this thread.
My advice would be to start college when he's committed to a reason for finishing it.
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