White Family Sticking Out Like Sore Thumbs... (Houston, Dallas: live in, zoning)
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I've been on this forum over 6 yrs (old account deleted) and never trashed a race for wanting to move in an area of similar ethic back grounds and interest. On the contrary, I generally help point people in an area with people they them selves feel most comfortable with being around. That is after all the very nature of this thread is it not?
How come white ppl NEVER want to be in a minority? A friend of mine lived there about 10 years ago. She came from so Calif and wanted her kid to go to school in a diverse environment. She said that the schools were very good that it was ONLY anglo and Indian, no blacks or Hispanics.
Please tell me what race WANTS to be the minority? Certainly many races are the minority for various reasons (black girls are a minority at Hockaday but they are receiving a great education- but I doubt that they want to be the minority).
Being surround by others that value their children's academic success was a major draw to the Plano area. Just as important though, are having kids in the neighborhood for my children to come & go with and other families for us to hang out by the pool with on the weekends. I just got the impression whites weren't quite as "accepted". That's why I came here... to get a feel or an answer as to what Asians & Indians think of Caucasian families.
For those that have mentioned it, I'm one of the most friendly people you'll meet. I've met SO many super, crazy nice people since the 1st day we got here! Everywhere from parking lots to standing in line at grocery store to knowing a Target cashier in Addison like she's family In the library and the park, I smiled at the handful of people that made eye contact with me. Truthfully, I was not comfortable with striking up conversation with anyone as we just plain didn't feel real welcomed. Maybe it's just that different in Plano. I'm ok with making some extra effort towards other cultures to form relationships. I am not ok with my kids not having friends to play with on our street.
Honestly, I think that neighborhood must just be that way - many neighborhoods have different "norms" on how much interaction there is.
My neighborhood is very diverse with Asians and Indians in that mix. And there are definitely stand-offish folks. Of all ethnicities. But the ones who are out for walks, or at the park, or at social events are friendly to all, not just their own groups.
I wouldn't even categorize all of Plano that way. It's pretty good-sized city and I wouldn't want to lump friendly neighborhoods in with the one you found, just because of a couple hundred homes.
This is exactly part of the problems why some minority groups keep things at an arms lenght. Just because someone looks different or born in another country does not makes them a foreigner even though they have been in this countries for 15 plus years. These people are AMERICANS. I live in Orange County so I know Irvine very well. Yes there are many Asians in Irvine but these people are very greatful to what this country have given them. And most of the kids living there can barely even speak their parents native language. I would imagine Plano being the same way as the kids growing up now will be very Americanized.
A perfect example of this attitude can be seen in many people's reactions after the Scripps Spelling Bee each year. This year I read about a local radio talk show host commenting on how it should be required that the winner be American - so it's not an isolated attitude.
2nd gen Chinese guy here. As much as I would like to jump in on the dogpile (because I've been witness to real racism against nonwhites in the northern suburbs many times), I instead sympathize with the threadstarter's ordeal. Not enough consideration is being given to where she is from. There are very, very few Chinese or Indian folks in Alabama, you've got some on the coast working in the seafood industry and many in Huntsville in aeronautics and that's pretty much it. So she has no idea how the cultural differences are. We tend to hold acquaintances and strangers at an arm's length in spite of our culture's innate friendliness and helpfulness because we like to keep to ourselves, to be self-sufficient without burdening others. So it is no surprise that no one at all walked up to you out of the blue at the park, they definitely all thought they would have been bothering you for no good reason.
Non-Asians who live around us will probably tell you to just be a little more forward, a little more proactive and you'll find that we are as friendly and hospitable and nice as you can find anywhere. Once we get that you like us, we will invite you into our homes and feed you until you are sick.
I will tell you that wanting to move to Allen or Frisco purely because of this alone is silly. Our culture values education, respect for you elders, self-reliance and humility. It is strongly passed down to our children. Why you wouldn't want your kids to be exposed to that through their future friends and their families is a mystery to me.
Agreed with this 100%. I worked in Houston for several years and they do not have the racial and socioeconomic north/south divide that we have here. A lot of it has to do with how there are no zoning laws in Houston, it's all deed restrictions. There are also far fewer suburbs because Houston proper annexed everything up in the last century.
If you go to River Oaks, the most exclusive neighborhood inside the loop in Houston, you'll find mansions next to liquor stores and apartment complexes. Same story in Bellaire - next to some of the nicest classic Mediterranean homes in the area, you will see a giant city bus transit center with people from all over the city coming in. Everyone lives next to each other because of the lack of zoning and have no choice but to get along. I was very much impressed by it. Houston has a much stronger community feel than Dallas.
The lack of zoning laws in Houston definitely played into how large ethnic areas were allowed to grow there. There are three massive Chinatown areas there, as well as a vibrant African community, among many others. Those things don't exist here, they're scattered through a few suburbs.
Wish I could rep you more than once, nice post!
Does anyone have any similar suggestions about how to similarly welcome a new south Asian (Indian) neighbor?
I feel you have made the right decision. It will take more than just a visit to a local park to become neighborly with those that live around you. You will find that being a little proactive, Chinese and Indian and Mexican alike are very welcoming once they get to know you. The best advice I can give you is: do not put a barrier between you and the community by isolating yourselves. Continue to be outgoing, friendly to all you meet, and neighborly. It will take time but they will open up. If you make your color an issue, they will make your color an issue.
All my married life our family has been the minority among mostly caucasian people. Here in Dallas we live in the Park Cities...which is 94% white. At first I felt like I stuck out. But it was all in my head as no one has ever made us feel like we do not belong. Slowly but surely, 3 years into our Dallas move, I feel like what I am is not an issue.
Best of luck on your move.
To non-minority posters:
While it may seem normal, may Blacks, Latinos, Asians are often the only person of color in an office, boardroom or such and nothing is thought of it, so the reverse should be true.
And yes, plenty of folks have asked would a person of color feel comfortable in Suburb-X- and I do cringe a little bit when it comes from anyone. That being said, not long ago, there were definitely places people of color couldn't move to, shouldn't move to and those questions are likely vestiges from those days or at least that sort of thinking.
Like Mami2, I moved to Park Cities and BAM....
Vaguely nothing happened. My child started school, made friends, has playdates. Aside from me being easily recognized at 20 paces, it's a non-issue. Hopefully it stays this way.
But the OP came up just short of saying Plano was nice except for all the non-white people. Not their intention, maybe poor wording. And FTR, never having been around Asians is a cop out. Be nice and friendly to people and they're likely to respond in kind, with minor variations for culture and race, which should be watered down after 1-2 generations in this country anyway.
A perfect example of this attitude can be seen in many people's reactions after the Scripps Spelling Bee each year. This year I read about a local radio talk show host commenting on how it should be required that the winner be American - so it's not an isolated attitude.
I don't know why people get whipped into a froth over the spelling bee. I won my school's spelling bee every year and never studied for it. Being able to speak other languages helped, but English spelling rules aren't really rules, per se. Being able to spell correctly in English is merely the result of reading a lot and doing a lot of rote memorization. Some kids strategize by studying Latin and Greek elements in English, and that can help both with spelling and vocabulary...but it's not really all that impressive. Not to me, anyway. All the energy these kids put into winning spelling bees would be better spent studying some other subject. Or playing outside.
Does anyone have any similar suggestions about how to similarly welcome a new south Asian (Indian) neighbor?
As an Asian Indian , I can assure you that most of the Indians highly value friendships (beyond race or skin color). We may be act stiff and aloof,and it is because we do not know how to crack the ice. There are exceptions of course; Indians who come to US for studies, and Indians who are settled here for many years. The main reason for the aloofness is the language difference, and not the cultural difference. We worry that we may say something wrong and offend you,or sometimes our accent makes it difficult for you to understand . Another reason is that most of us do not have enterprising personalities(not intend to generalize or offend anyone). That is the way most of us has been brought up; before getting a job it was studies and family,and later life revolve around work and family.work and family. Due to this the avenues for social interactions are lessened. Add to this our basic nature(shyness). We do not fall into the category of "social butterflies".
We are not highly complex people. We take job/work and education very seriously. We love to mingle with others. We are (most of us are) kindhearted and helpful. We have the tendency to micro-manage our children's life These are our quirks.
Once you come to know us, you will not regret taking the first step to friendship (because we are very shy to initiate
To make us welcome, all you need to give us is a warm smile and a handshake.
For conversation starters, you can talk about schools, after-school activities, the community, Indian food, restaurants, local parks etc.
I don't know why people get whipped into a froth over the spelling bee. I won my school's spelling bee every year and never studied for it. Being able to speak other languages helped, but English spelling rules aren't really rules, per se. Being able to spell correctly in English is merely the result of reading a lot and doing a lot of rote memorization. Some kids strategize by studying Latin and Greek elements in English, and that can help both with spelling and vocabulary...but it's not really all that impressive. Not to me, anyway. All the energy these kids put into winning spelling bees would be better spent studying some other subject. Or playing outside.
Just my $0.02.
I would not be worried about them not doing well in other areas of study. My sense is those kids as they grow up are doing extremely well in other subjects. There must be a reason for that demographic to comprise more than a third of incoming med school students (half or more if all Asians counted), disproportionately high numbers in high finance, dominant in IT & tech. And I think that is indeed in some way related (correlative, not causative) to their dominance in spelling bees, of a language that is not even native to them.
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In the library and the park, I smiled at the handful of people that made eye contact with me. Truthfully, I was not comfortable with striking up conversation with anyone as we just plain didn't feel real welcomed. Maybe it's just that different in Plano. I'm ok with making some extra effort towards other cultures to form relationships. I am not ok with my kids not having friends to play with on our street.
- so it's not an isolated attitude.
These are our quirks. 
