Should I stay in Dallas? SO of 3 years broke up with me. How is the Dallas dating scene? (Austin: lease, high school)

[Wittgenstein's Ghost]

Originally Posted by bluescreen73

My better half and I shacked up and we've been married almost 23 years. I also got her pregnant out of wedlock. Dun dun dun.

Well, if you think DFW's been hot lately....

[RJ312]

Originally Posted by CoastieOnTheMove

My girlfriend of three years broke up with me over the weekend pretty suddenly. We'd been through a breakup before around this time last year where she moved out, got her own place. Then we started dating again after a couple of months. We'd just moved back in together a couple of months ago in a new place.

I'm in my early 30s, fully remote worker. I'm unsure if we will get back together at all at this point.

How is dating generally for early 30s men in Dallas? I'm not ready to date obviously but this is in my mind. Should I move cities?

You must close the chapter on this woman forever. Move into that mentality.

You're already in Dallas. Might as well stay here.

A lot of factors will influence how you experience dating in a city. In general, Dallas is mediocre for dating.

[CoastieOnTheMove]

Originally Posted by RJ312

You must close the chapter on this woman forever. Move into that mentality.

You're already in Dallas. Might as well stay here.

A lot of factors will influence how you experience dating in a city. In general, Dallas is mediocre for dating.

I've been in Dallas for a couple of years now. I'm not going to immediately get back out there on the dating scene, but it is a consideration. I'm more focused on making more friends/building a social circle tbh.

My job is remote and I can live anywhere with it. What age range would you say Dallas is mediocre for dating?

[CoastieOnTheMove]

Originally Posted by TurtleCreek80

I think it depends on the crowd you run with. Almost all of my girl friends met their husbands in Dallas between 27-35. Most of the guys were 30-40 when they met their wives. Only 2 were second marriages & no kids involved.

All college graduates, most grad school professionals, fwiw.

OP, I wouldn’t move right away. You are prime relationship finding age, especially for a professional guy dating college graduate women 25-35.

This is a very good point. As for the crowd, I'm college-educated and went to one of the best universities in the country. Like to work out/be physically active when I'm not depressed (served in the military for 9 years, developed depression and anxiety from that. Get regular therapy and have gone down to the VA to help me with that). Really love talking about current events and running with a professional crowd. Wanting to go see more live events (comedy shows, music, etc.)

I'm 31, gave up alcohol last year a few months after I turned 30. Not interested in having kids or anyone who doesn't have kids. That's not my dating demographic. Nothing wrong with people who have kids, just not for me. I'd like to date someone who has depth to them and some world experience. I've traveled a lot and lived in NYC for 4 years prior to moving down here to Dallas.

Age range I would be interested in is mid-twenties to early thirties. I'd really prefer to get back together with my ex but that's not looking like a possibility sadly and unfortunately. We looked at rings and I was planning on proposing in 2023 so this one stings.

[RJ312]

Originally Posted by CoastieOnTheMove

What age range would you say Dallas is mediocre for dating?

All of them, but the one you're planning to play in for the next 1-2 years is one of the toughest. 24-32 years old is tough because those women are in demand and there's a surplus of single men in Dallas, especially in that age range.

As for your job being remote now, remember that jobs are temporary. You may need to change jobs soon enough. Dallas has a decent job market so staying here could be a benefit.

Originally Posted by CoastieOnTheMove

I've been in Dallas for a couple of years now. I'm not going to immediately get back out there on the dating scene, but it is a consideration. I'm more focused on making more friends/building a social circle tbh.

Social circle building takes time. Doesn't seem like you've done much with a social circle in the last 2-3 years that you've been here. Now, the good thing for you right now is that you're not ready to date again, so you can use this time on social circle building. Social circle introductions are one of the best ways to get dates and extended relationships. If you can build a productive social circle, it'll be much easier for you than approaching strangers in any venue or swiping on the apps.

Originally Posted by CoastieOnTheMove

I'm 31, gave up alcohol last year a few months after I turned 30. Not interested in having kids or anyone who doesn't have kids. That's not my dating demographic. Nothing wrong with people who have kids, just not for me. I'd like to date someone who has depth to them and some world experience. I've traveled a lot and lived in NYC for 4 years prior to moving down here to Dallas.

You have 2 strikes against you from these two things. These 2 things would apply to mostly any city, not just Dallas.

It's difficult to do the early stages of dating without alcohol. You can find dates without going to bars. To do that, you'd either have to get good at approaching strangers in any venue that isn't a bar or have a social circle capable of introducing you to women open to dating new people. There are a lot of options for approaching strangers but that's a difficult path. Social circle introductions are tough to get too. Breaking into the correct social circles that can arrange qualified introductions is a challenge. Even if you can get dates without stepping in a bar, you have a challenge of picking locations for early stage dates. Dinner dates in restaurants are often a waste of time and money. You have a high probability of paying for some woman's dinner and never hearing from her again if you do a dinner date from some stranger you met on an app or some stranger you approached in person. You have less of a chance of that from a social circle introduction. You also have that risk on drinks dates too, but drinks are less expensive and more fun.

The not wanting kids thing is going to make dating really tough. Childless women 28-35 often want kids and are dating on an urgent timeline, unlike younger women. At 31, you can probably date a 22-27 year old for 2-3 years and be able to get away with the kid issue not popping up because they aren't in a rush to have kids. If you want to form an LTR with a childless woman who doesn't want kids, that's going to be tough until around her late 30s-early 40s when she will likely have difficulties conceiving and has accepted a childless reality.

You have one major thing going for you. A solid income level. Your personal income is right around the point where women start to be impressed by it, especially the youngest ones. A woman who makes $60,000 or less will be impressed with your income.

[CoastieOnTheMove]

Originally Posted by RJ312

All of them, but the one you're planning to play in for the next 1-2 years is one of the toughest. 24-32 years old is tough because those women are in demand and there's a surplus of single men in Dallas, especially in that age range.

As for your job being remote now, remember that jobs are temporary. You may need to change jobs soon enough. Dallas has a decent job market so staying here could be a benefit.




Social circle building takes time. Doesn't seem like you've done much with a social circle in the last 2-3 years that you've been here. Now, the good thing for you right now is that you're not ready to date again, so you can use this time on social circle building. Social circle introductions are one of the best ways to get dates and extended relationships. If you can build a productive social circle, it'll be much easier for you than approaching strangers in any venue or swiping on the apps.



You have 2 strikes against you from these two things. These 2 things would apply to mostly any city, not just Dallas.

It's difficult to do the early stages of dating without alcohol. You can find dates without going to bars. To do that, you'd either have to get good at approaching strangers in any venue that isn't a bar or have a social circle capable of introducing you to women open to dating new people. There are a lot of options for approaching strangers but that's a difficult path. Social circle introductions are tough to get too. Breaking into the correct social circles that can arrange qualified introductions is a challenge. Even if you can get dates without stepping in a bar, you have a challenge of picking locations for early stage dates. Dinner dates in restaurants are often a waste of time and money. You have a high probability of paying for some woman's dinner and never hearing from her again if you do a dinner date from some stranger you met on an app or some stranger you approached in person. You have less of a chance of that from a social circle introduction. You also have that risk on drinks dates too, but drinks are less expensive and more fun.

The not wanting kids thing is going to make dating really tough. Childless women 28-35 often want kids and are dating on an urgent timeline, unlike younger women. At 31, you can probably date a 22-27 year old for 2-3 years and be able to get away with the kid issue not popping up because they aren't in a rush to have kids. If you want to form an LTR with a childless woman who doesn't want kids, that's going to be tough until around her late 30s-early 40s when she will likely have difficulties conceiving and has accepted a childless reality.

You have one major thing going for you. A solid income level. Your personal income is right around the point where women start to be impressed by it, especially the youngest ones. A woman who makes $60,000 or less will be impressed with your income.

Wow - a lot of this sounds so negative/disheartening. I believe I can stay remote for the majority of my career, with the career field that I am in. I'm an extroverted sort of guy, and I'd like a partner to be seen/viewed/felt as an equal to me.

Not strictly opposed to having kids someday - really depends on the woman and if we're in a good financial place. I can't see having kids in the next few years at least.

And there's nothing wrong with 1 dinner date with someone.

[RJ312]

Originally Posted by CoastieOnTheMove

Not strictly opposed to having kids someday - really depends on the woman and if we're in a good financial place. I can't see having kids in the next few years at least.

Ambivalent/open to kids is a much more marketable stance than fully opposed to kids. You're ok there.

Originally Posted by CoastieOnTheMove

And there's nothing wrong with 1 dinner date with someone.

1 dinner date isn't the problem. The problem happens when you have 5 or 10 first date dinners fail to produce anything of substance. That gets expensive fast. Drinks dates follow a similar pattern. I would advise to go on fewer dates but try to make the dates you go on be worthwhile. A lot of dates you can arrange from swipe apps will mainly be the garbage date variety. Video chatting before a date is likely to help that but you're better off making approaches in person (still a difficult path) or doing the social circle thing.

Dinner dates are quite unenjoyable, only the coffee date is worse. Drinks in a bar is sort of the standard date if you're arranging dates from random stranger approaches or swipe app interactions. A dinner date might be ok if there is a decent mutual connection.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/th...ate-2016-12-28


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2sx...nel=CBSNewYork

[bluescreen73]

Originally Posted by Wittgenstein's Ghost

Well, if you think DFW's been hot lately....

I'm on the express train to hell.

[WorldKlas]

Do you like to run? DFW has some great running groups. Easy to make friends. Right now having good friends would be good for you.

[texstout]

I think it depends upon what you are looking for and where you live. My 34 year old lawyer friend (think 10/10) is moving to Dallas from LA - in part because she thinks it will be a better single scene. She is planning on living in Uptown and knowing her - will mostly date professionals 30-40 years of age who live within 20 minutes.