At a crossroads; debating a move from SD to Denver..single female mid-thirties (Colorado Springs: transplants, condo)

[lauraca1]

I am a single, active female in my mid-thirties and have lived in San Diego for almost 11 years. Although I love it, I have never seen myself here long-term. So far, the research I have done on Denver and the visits I have taken all point in that direction. I love the sunshine, skiing, outdoor lifestyle, friendly people and cost of living is lower than SD. It is also closer to my family in Ohio as well which is nice. My question...I have so many ties now in SD (professional and personal) and only have friends of friends and no family in Denver which sometimes sounds draining to start from scratch. I work in the schools as well and Denver is looking better for me career wise than SD. I am not in a relationship and have had no luck in SoCal in that area! My entire family lives in Ohio. There are fleeting moments I think about just moving back to Columbus, but being single there at this point in my life sounds a bit depressing. Denver all around sounds like such a great fit for me in general. If anyone has been in similar circumstances and has any input; I would be extremely grateful! Thanks in advance

[LeisureMan]

They say Denver is San Diego 1 mile up, so you have that going for you.

I moved from SD to Colorado Springs, mostly because I didn't want to go to "another" San Diego. Of course, family being out here helped make that choice even easier.

I would say go for it. The cost of living is the huge motivator, and being strings-free relationship-wise makes the move an even bigger no-brainer.

Just think, if it doesn't work out, all that money you are saving on the lower cost of living will make it easier for you to transition someplace else.

[rushhournewb]

There's a ton of threads here just like yours. Like this one:

https://www.city-data.com/forum/denve...go-denver.html

[lauraca1]

Thank you LeisureMan for the encouragement! I just might go for it!

[gmm_24]

I had heard and read about the dating scene here, no experience but it is not that easy to get to know people here, unless you are outgoing. Even then people can be superficial friendly and hard to get to know. I am outgoing and have made friends here, never had to do the dating part, my sister has and she has met some real winners but I think that is her fault

Teaching jobs are not that easy to come by right now so you may end up in a small town school with little pay. Or be jobless for months, in which case I would only move if I had 6 months of living expenses saved up.

You might be closer to Ohio but how often would you make the drive? I can tell you not very often. The cost of living is lower here but it is still not that low. I do not have much time to head up to the mountains let alone back to the East Coast where I am from. Cost of living has increased but my pay has not to match it.

At least if you go back to Ohio you have family and friends so you will not be alone, they can introduce to men, if you cannot find a job they can let you stay with them for a little while until you get one. Not ideal but better then being in a place you do not know without a job.

Make a visit to here and back to Ohio and see which one feels better to you, see who has jobs available.

[80skeys]

Originally Posted by LeisureMan

They say Denver is San Diego 1 mile up, so you have that going for you.

I never heard that. I can't think of how SD and Denver are very similar.

[mic111]

I also grew up in Ohio. I moved here from San Francisco to take a job (knowing no one) about 18 yrs ago. Very nice people from work invited me to Thanksgiving and Christmas with their families for the first couple of years until I had my own network. I thought it was very sweet of them to include me when they really didn't know me. I met friends at work and the gym. I also joined a triathlon training group and met people there. I thought dating here was easier than any other place I've ever lived. I don't drink so didn't frequent bars. I miss some things about CA like the diversity, people being interested in the wider world and good food. However, the trade off for open spaces, sparsely populated, easy access to activities, overall safe feeling and lower cost of living was well worth it to me. I think you should give it a try. If you have friends and associated in CA you'll make friends here also.

[vegaspilgrim]

Originally Posted by lauraca1

I am a single, active female in my mid-thirties and have lived in San Diego for almost 11 years. Although I love it, I have never seen myself here long-term. So far, the research I have done on Denver and the visits I have taken all point in that direction. I love the sunshine, skiing, outdoor lifestyle, friendly people and cost of living is lower than SD. It is also closer to my family in Ohio as well which is nice. My question...I have so many ties now in SD (professional and personal) and only have friends of friends and no family in Denver which sometimes sounds draining to start from scratch. I work in the schools as well and Denver is looking better for me career wise than SD. I am not in a relationship and have had no luck in SoCal in that area! My entire family lives in Ohio. There are fleeting moments I think about just moving back to Columbus, but being single there at this point in my life sounds a bit depressing. Denver all around sounds like such a great fit for me in general. If anyone has been in similar circumstances and has any input; I would be extremely grateful! Thanks in advance

Denver is known as "Menver" due to the high male-female population (and very high single men in their 20's & 30's compared to single women ratio), however, San Diego is one of the few cities that has even more surplus men over women than Denver. So if you're a single woman having dating problems in San Diego, Denver might be more of the same. While the two cities are very different, different climates, different activities, culturally they have a lot of similarities (my observation-- I've been to San Diego many times before). I do not think the people in Denver are any friendlier than the people in San Diego-- not sure what makes you think that?

I can see how moving to a new place, forcing yourself to start over again with making new friends and building a new social network could be beneficial if you feel like you're stuck in a rut. However, that's only if you actually do it. You could move, get settled in, a whole new list of familiar faces, and then get stuck in a rut here as well. People in Denver have a tendency to be outwardly "friendly" (such as smiling and waving at strangers) without actually wanting to be friends. Generally, it's the other recent transplants that are the most genuinely friendly people, not the natives and long time locals.

Why do you think Denver in particular is where you'll be happier, as opposed to say... Seattle, or Minneapolis, or Chicago, or New York, or Dallas, or Atlanta?

[mic111]

Originally Posted by vegaspilgrim

So if you're a single woman having dating problems in San Diego, Denver might be more of the same

I respectfully beg to differ. When I lived in San Francisco dating was dinner and a movie. Maybe a trip into SF for a more upscale dinner and maybe the theater on a weekend. When I moved to Denver dating was a 4-wheel outing on dirt roads with someone who loved that and had the vehicle, flying in a glider with someone else who loved that, staying at a mountain condo over the weekend while skiing and snowshoeing with the one who owned a condo, international & domestic travel (people have more disposable income but don't want to travel alone), ball room dancing downtown with the one who owned a tux, country dancing downtown (Grizzly Rose was a blast), exploring eateries, funky little theaters for live plays, long bike rides with the triathlete, hikes in the foothills etc. The dinner and a movie people were hardly worth my time. People here have lots of different hobbies and enjoy sharing them. I think the difference with Denver is that it is so easy to get any where in the metro area or the mountains that it really opens up the activities that are available on any given weekend. If there wasn't a date available my friends and I took vacations to dude ranches, went white water rafting, did alot of our own hiking, saw the various special shows at the museums, spent a weekend at the spa etc.

You may be right if someone likes to meet folks at bars and they come here and do the same then it would likely be the same result. For me it was a big difference in Denver vs. San Francisco. I think all you have to do is show an interest in doing new things and people will practically sweep you along with them. It also helps if you take your turn and plan fun things to.

[Count David]

Originally Posted by vegaspilgrim

Why do you think Denver in particular is where you'll be happier, as opposed to say... Seattle, or Minneapolis, or Chicago, or New York, or Dallas, or Atlanta?

or Yakima, Duluth, Rockford, Binghamton, Laredo, or Valdosta? (my initial thought when reading OP's post was, "maybe she should try a smaller metro/something different".)