How to friends and family react when you say you want to move to Denver? (college, to live in) - Colorado (CO) - Page 4 - City-Data Forum

preppyglam · 11-16-2008, 03:20 PM

People have mixed responses- most of them neutral or slightly positive (I'm convinced its just that they don't want us to move away, not because they don't like CO). Usually the first question is "why". Then I explain to them why. And if the first question isn't "why", its a statement about how far away it is from LA/OC. Usually after listing all the reasons, they say they look forward to visiting.

I, too, have noticed that older people or CA natives (my dad, my grandparents), say "its cold" and we are crazy to move out of CA weather since people move to CA for the weather (or at least in part). Most people who have never been to CO don't understand how gorgeous it is there. They also don't know what else there is to do aside from snow sports. So, its great to rave about the beauty, the quality of life compared to CA, etc. I feel I get to educate people, and hopefully plant the seed of relocation (I want EVERYONE I know to come with us! I will so miss my family and friends!). I know you CO natives HATE that- but whatever!

davidpm · 11-17-2008, 10:06 AM

When I'm asked why, I speak mostly about the cost of living. I can afford to purchase a house in CO and I can't in many places in the northeast.

Has anyone had to weigh the pros and cons of leaving their family? My main concern is that, when I move, my parents will be on their own. All of my brothers and sisters are in their 20s and starting their own lives. My oldest brother will be in CT, my younger brother is moving with me to CO and my sister is in Philadelphia. My parents will be all alone in NJ. It is really the only thought that has held me back from saying 100% absolutely that I will be moving. How have you been able to deal with this or justify this?

EscapeCalifornia · 11-17-2008, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidpm

When I'm asked why, I speak mostly about the cost of living. I can afford to purchase a house in CO and I can't in many places in the northeast.

Has anyone had to weigh the pros and cons of leaving their family? My main concern is that, when I move, my parents will be on their own. All of my brothers and sisters are in their 20s and starting their own lives. My oldest brother will be in CT, my younger brother is moving with me to CO and my sister is in Philadelphia. My parents will be all alone in NJ. It is really the only thought that has held me back from saying 100% absolutely that I will be moving. How have you been able to deal with this or justify this?

That's definitely a tough one. I'm an only child and my parents in their mid 60's but they're approaching the time when things usually go downhill. I can't say I'm comfortable leaving them 1200 miles behind but at the same time, I can't wait for them to die to pursue the life I want, nor can I move and expect them to follow. My wife has it much easier since she has two sisters still living with her parents and they'll probably never move out.

subsound · 11-17-2008, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EscapeCalifornia

That's definitely a tough one. I'm an only child and my parents in their mid 60's but they're approaching the time when things usually go downhill. I can't say I'm comfortable leaving them 1200 miles behind but at the same time, I can't wait for them to die to pursue the life I want, nor can I move and expect them to follow. My wife has it much easier since she has two sisters still living with her parents and they'll probably never move out.

That is really tough, we are working on it too. My parents are getting sicker and my wife's are too. Her sister is with her family, but I'm an only child and we don't want to doom her sister to take care of her parents. Both sets of parents are great, but while we lived near them we would spend a good 2-3 weekends a month, every month, visiting them and doing things to help them out....more so when we have kids.

Maybe it should be a new thread....

Kibbiekat · 11-17-2008, 12:14 PM

My mom reacted badly, but she would have no matter where we were moving. People 35 and under thought it was great and/or were jealous they weren't moving. People (besides my mom) over 35 thought it was great, and wished they'd done it when they were younger. But, the place I'm from is not that great, and generally, if you can get out, people think it is a good thing, almost no matter where you are going.

Kibbiekat · 11-17-2008, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidpm

When I'm asked why, I speak mostly about the cost of living. I can afford to purchase a house in CO and I can't in many places in the northeast.

Has anyone had to weigh the pros and cons of leaving their family? My main concern is that, when I move, my parents will be on their own. All of my brothers and sisters are in their 20s and starting their own lives. My oldest brother will be in CT, my younger brother is moving with me to CO and my sister is in Philadelphia. My parents will be all alone in NJ. It is really the only thought that has held me back from saying 100% absolutely that I will be moving. How have you been able to deal with this or justify this?

It was really hard for me to leave my family. My parents are in their 60's and fairly healthy. They also travel a lot, so I knew they'd visit. They are actually "stuck" in my hometown taking care of my grandma, who is in her 80's, or they might have already moved to CO to be near us. It could be years before your parents need someone to take care of them. A lot can change in that time. They may want to move to be closer to you or one of your siblings. Or one of your siblings might move back to NJ. You never know. If my parents had "needed" me then I probably wouldn't have left. But I couldn't just sit and wait for them to get old. I predict that in the next 5-10 years, they'll move to CO to be near their grandkids.

HighlandsGal · 11-17-2008, 12:32 PM

Leaving family and close friends is definitely the hardest part. We moved from MI about a year and a half ago. I think my parents and siblings thought I wouldn't last a year. But we just bought a house and will be here for a few more years ... much to my sister's dismay. It did motivate my parents to finally book a ticket and see where I live now. I do feel somewhat guilty and "bad" about missing my 6 nieces and nephews grow up, but at the same time....I have to live my life too.

Initial reactions ranged from surprised (family) to sad (close friends) to jealous (other friends, colleagues, etc.)

zionvier · 11-17-2008, 03:18 PM

My brother moved out to Summit County with a Jeep Wrangler (no job, no where to live, no friends out here... just whatever fit inside a wranger). That was about 8 years ago, he's bought a condo in Keystone that he lives in, works for the fire department and has no intentions of leaving. I on the other hand lined up a job, but no where to live. My brother had actually moved elsewhere during the summer that I moved out to Vail, so I didn't know anyone here either and had no where to stay when I got here. Since the I've lived in Vail, left and lived in Cali, returned and lived in Summit County, then Littleton and now own a house in Thornton.

My parents didn't understand why Colorado was drawing both of us away from Jersey (away from the Italian tight knit family lifestyle) Once they visited they still didn't understand completely, but they've learned to accept that what we wanted in life was something that Jersey couldn't offer and Colorado could. 8 years after my brother moved out here, 5 years after I moved out here, our parents are now moving out here since they have realized that we are never returning to Jersey. ;-)

Leave the family and friends is the hardest part. I had the same comments from friends: "Why would you move to Colorado?" my reaction was always the same: "You'll never understand until you go out there."

subsound · 11-17-2008, 03:32 PM

I always thought it was good to move away from old friends to new friends and situations. More varied places give a person a greater view of the world and more experiences to draw on, you don't get stuck in a rut with the same people in the same situations again and again.

katmoney · 11-17-2008, 04:29 PM

My parents were initially pissed off at me and wouldn't talk to me for 2 weeks. They were more mad that I was moving with my (now ex) boyfriend when we weren't even engaged or married. I told them I wasn't just moving for him but it was time to see what else was out there besides Chicago.

My friends were sad and jealous and happy for me and like zionver said..they didn't really understand why I moved out here til they came and visited.