Love me, love my dog? (how much, allergic, clean, skin)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am having a discussion in another thread and this just occured to me, so I thought I would ask on this board.
I will preface this by saying I am not a dog person-- I don't want to own one, care for one, or clean up after one. I certainly appreciate other people's dogs in passing but would not want to live with one.
Dog owners: If someone you knew said "Hey I would love to have you come visit for a few days" would you:
1. Assume that they meant you could also bring your dog?
2. Refuse to visit if it meant that the dog needed to stay home?
Would this be any different if you had a big dog and they had a small space? If they had allergies to the dog or small kids who couldn't be trusted around the dog? Had other pets who were not socialized to dogs?
Always say what you mean! IF your Only inviting the Owner Not the Animal TELL them! Up front! Then they can decide if the visit to your home is worth boarding Fido. But by the same token Furkids to some ARE their Kids. Would you invite a 2 legged Adult then say Leave your 2 legged Kids home?? NO! So why do it to a person & their pet?
No I would never assume they meant I could bring my dog. I'd assume I could not unless my host specifically invited my dog. If my dog had to stay home I might visit, it would depend on how much I wanted to go and what arrangements I could make for my dog.
It wouldn't matter regarding size if it were only for a few days. Yes I would take allergies into consideration, who'd want to visit someone and make them ill?? Not a pleasant visit if you make your host or a family member ill. Same with children or other family members that could not be trusted with my dog, I'd not risk that, I'd not want to risk a confrontation or worse. I'd leave the dog home or not visit, it's that simple.
I love my dog and wouldn't put her in a position where she'd be uncomfortable or in danger. However, I will also not put her in a position where she might endanger others.
I am a self confessed animal lover - the more the merrier for me but I see that as MY choice and MY lifestyle. I would never assume that an invitation included my pet(s). I have had friends who do not have dogs but tolerate them give me the green light to bring mine along but I assess those invitations on a case by case basis. If you never had pets, you really don't know what having one is like so even though they may say it is okay I often leave her home.
As a matter of fact, I now have a dog with my boyfriend and because this would be his first dog as adult, we had a lot of in depth discussion about it. Even so, he still had some unrealistic expectations. Luckily, he fell madly in love with her and he has been more then supportive.
I am not a kid person, and I often wish that parents were a little more considerate of people like me who have little patience for screaming kids.
I am a self confessed animal lover - the more the merrier for me but I see that as MY choice and MY lifestyle. I would never assume that an invitation included my pet(s). I have had friends who do not have dogs but tolerate them give me the green light to bring mine along but I assess those invitations on a case by case basis. If you never had pets, you really don't know what having one is like so even though they may say it is okay I often leave her home.
As a matter of fact, I now have a dog with my boyfriend and because this would be his first dog as adult, we had a lot of in depth discussion about it. Even so, he still had some unrealistic expectations. Luckily, he fell madly in love with her and he has been more then supportive.
I am not a kid person, and I often wish that parents were a little more considerate of people like me who have little patience for screaming kids.
Agree on both counts.
So then, what are some polite ways to express to a dog lover that their dog might not be welcome as a guest?
I would never assume that a dog is invited anywhere unless someone mentions him or her! And I'd never bring my dogs anywhere without asking. I have visited relatives for a couple of days, without my dogs, because they'd rather not have dogs in their home. And I adore my dogs, and spend a lot more time with them than most people do. But I don't kid myself that they can't live without me for a weekend, or vice versa, or that the whole world should love them because I do.
Has this person or people brought their dogs uninvited before, or are you just worrying that they will? That would make a difference in how you'd approach it.
So then, what are some polite ways to express to a dog lover that their dog might not be welcome as a guest?
I would ask what their plans are for Fluffy or Bootsie while they are away visiting you. That would bring to light if they were planning on bringing them and then you could explain why bringing them was not okay with you.
We are a childless couple here and although we do have people with (well behaved) children, I always make it clear if the invite was for an adult visit by explaining that the activities we planned would not be fun or safe for kids. The same could be said for pets.
That being said, you have to be prepared for someone declining your invitation because they could not bring their pet, whether it be an alternative place for the pet was unavailable or the pet would not do well away from the owner. Just as you have every right to not welcome a pet into your home, they have the right to refuse without any negative impact on your friendship.
I never take my dog anywhere without knowing whether or not he is welcome. If I'm going out of town he either is boarded or stays with my or my husband's parents. If I'm going to my parents house and its just us and some of my brother's friend then I usually bring him, same with my in-laws however, if I'm invited to a friend's house, I usually assume my dog is not invited unless they specifically say for me to bring him.
I wish people with kids wouldn't make assumptions about whether or not their kid is invited...but that's another discussion all together.
So then, what are some polite ways to express to a dog lover that their dog might not be welcome as a guest?
Just tell them you're allergic to the hair...tell em your throat clamps up and you can't breathe.
How about, "I'm really afraid of dogs".
"My cat will freakout!!!"
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
