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At mealtime, I'd get down on the floor and put her dinner in little spots around you. Throw in a few high-value treats. And then stretch out with a book and read. Do not look at or acknowledge her.
Or hand feed her her meals. After she starts accepting food, start moving away from her with the food and make her follow you a little bit. That's as far as you should go with training for a while. Sit is too much for this dog to handle at the moment. Really, what she needs to develop first is a decent recall. Everything else is gravy after that.
Thank you all for your very helpful replies. I've been guilty of leaning over her Katie 1 and GranpaTom, in what I thought was an attempt to make myself shorter and less threatening. I've also tried sitting on the floor, but I really should do that more often and I will give it another try. My dog is small - just under 12 lbs and I guess I must seem like a giant to her!
SoULWounD Thank you for your detailed reply and the links. I've never raised my voice nor punished her ever and the training I've attempted has been on a rewards basis. I make homemade dog biscuits that she loves and she also loves cheese. She will take the cheese from my hand, but I have to throw the biscuits on the floor for her. I should also mention that she shows signs of fear quite a bit - lip licking, yawning, trembling even when she's sitting quietly by herself and that's why I got the supplements from the vet. You're right, I should be content with her excitement when I come home and she loves her daily walks! She's also a Vrelco dog - follows me around the house like a shadow and has to be in the same room as me all the time.
I probably should have mentioned in my original post, that she's not interested in play either. I have a selection of stuffed toys, balls, Kong food dispenser thingy and she just stares at them. Of course I do understand that she's never been exposed to play or probably much human touch in her first 7 years and the life she has now is completely different and foreign to her. I was hoping that after being relatively pampered over the past year +, she'd have learned to trust me by now and not be so anxious.
It is heartening to know that other posters here have non-licking dogs too
Just over a year ago I adopted a 7 year old "kennel mama" poodle. She's as cute as a button and I love her dearly, but......she runs away from me all the time and I'm at my wits end.
She was completely untrained when I got her having spent her life in a kennel (not a puppy mill). I've leash trained her, and take her outside every few hours to do her business, but that's about it. I've tried to train her to 'sit' by holding a treat above her head, but she backs away when I approach her. In fact she always runs/backs away when I approach her. She rarely takes treats out of my hand, I have to leave them on the floor.
It's the running / backing away from me that's really perplexing. She shouldn't be afraid of me after over a year of my showering her with love and affection - should she? She won't sit beside me, doesn't lick my face or do anything that normal dogs do. I've given her a supplement that the vet gave me for anxious dogs, but it had no effect. I've had an animal behaviourist visit the house to see how she acts and the only advice I got from her was to never force myself on her and to throw the treats closer to me until she takes them from my hand. I've watched hundreds of videos on fearful dogs, but none seem to address this particular issue.
I'm at home most of the time and when I go out she's so excited to see me when I get back and licks my hand, but that's about it.
She's 8 years old now and I have more or less resigned myself to her never letting me get close to her. If any of you have any advice for me I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks!
You sound desperate to fix this, so I'm suggesting this as a drastic measure. Give her time to miss you.
Take her to a boarding kennel over night...she'll be so happy to see you...
Otherwise just sit quietly next to her, on the floor...don't make eye contact, just lay your hand between you..let her approach you.
At mealtime, I'd get down on the floor and put her dinner in little spots around you. Throw in a few high-value treats. And then stretch out with a book and read. Do not look at or acknowledge her.
Or hand feed her her meals. After she starts accepting food, start moving away from her with the food and make her follow you a little bit. That's as far as you should go with training for a while. Sit is too much for this dog to handle at the moment. Really, what she needs to develop first is a decent recall. Everything else is gravy after that.
How is she with other dogs?
She's not aggressive with other dogs at all, in fact I'd say she's very submissive (comes from years as a breeding dog I'd imagine). Twice a week she goes out with a dog walker for a couple of hours and has apparently fallen in love with a Wolfhound .
As far as feeding goes, she's a very shy eater. If her food dish is within my range of sight, she just won't eat at all, so I generally give her privacy, otherwise she'd starve!
JanND I've already given her to a pet sitter when I'm on vacation and this summer I'll be going on two vacations, so she will have loads of time to miss me. But as you and the other posters have suggested, I have to spend more time on the floor with her - that seems to be key to getting her physically closer to me.
Thanks everyone for all your suggestions - much appreciated. If there's a breakthrough, I'll be letting you know!
I Glad you have a Pet Sitter! Boarding her in a Kennel will just set her back! She wont miss you.. she just figure you putting her in a kennel like she been in all her life. Actually when you come back then put her in the boarding kennel for the next trip you will confuse her! BTW Most older dogs don't play that much. Not with toys. Find things to do together 1st Obedience Classes... help you both. Then maybe Agility classes. Walks, Dog park Visits. Day trips together. Or just cozy up together for a Movie & treats Just some ides. Remember go at Her pace. This is Strange new World to her betting the only places she may have been outside the kennel were Dog Shows! Check the AKC & UKC web sites for shows near you! Just go & walk around with her.
I Glad you have a Pet Sitter! Boarding her in a Kennel will just set her back! She wont miss you.. she just figure you putting her in a kennel like she been in all her life. Actually when you come back then put her in the boarding kennel for the next trip you will confuse her! BTW Most older dogs don't play that much. Not with toys. Find things to do together 1st Obedience Classes... help you both. Then maybe Agility classes. Walks, Dog park Visits. Day trips together. Or just cozy up together for a Movie & treats Just some ides. Remember go at Her pace. This is Strange new World to her betting the only places she may have been outside the kennel were Dog Shows! Check the AKC & UKC web sites for shows near you! Just go & walk around with her.
Great ideas Katie1 - thank you! My local PetSmart has training classes although I'm not sure how effective they are, but might pick up tips from the other, younger dogs.
The sitter I leave her with takes her into his own house where he has other dogs and apparently she's been a "great houseguest" . Can you clarify....are you saying I should leave her with the sitter on the first trip and put her in a kennel on the 2nd trip? The trips will be for 10 and 15 days respectively and I'm already feeling guilty about the prospects of "abandoning" her. I've only ever left her with this sitter for long weekend trips away (4 days), so these two trips will be heart wrenching.
No No Saying You Should NOT Board her at a Kennel at ALL! It would just Confuse her. She be happy there cause That what she use to. BUT Unlike a dog Raised & Living in a Home When you come back then Return her to the same living condition & then repeat She End up Confused. You Want her to be a House Dog & Be Comfortable with that. All she going to think is What am I Doing Wrong... should I Be a Kennel dog living in a house or a House dog???
I got a Rottie from a Kennel. All she knew was Kennel life for 7 years. [BTW Rottie] The year she was with me she was 1/2 house dog 1/2 Kennel dog/yard dog I didn't have kennels just big play areas for Groups. So anyway a friend offered to take her when she was 8. She became ALL House dog. BUT every time she had to be Boarded she revert to her Kennel dog ways. Chasing Bugs and Licking herself, etc. Ignoring those around her. It was like with each trip to the boarding kennel she get less & less involved in the humans & Longer acting like a Kennel dog. I don't know IF it was a Lack of Trusting her humans to return for her & she became indifferent or what. She went from playing with the kids & interacting with Humans to indifferent. She died at 10 years old Natural causes or as the vet said Old age for a Rottie. Lucky you Tiny dogs live 15-20 years
Thanks for the clarification Katie1. I thought that's what you meant, but just wanted to be certain. I'm sure after so many years in a kennel, it's easy for them to revert back as in the case of your Rottie. I'd hate to leave her in a kennel with a load of barking dogs and little to no human contact.
The guy I leave her with is a real doggie person - she even sleeps in his bedroom, so I feel she's well looked after. Of course I'll miss her more than she'll miss me .
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. But as you and the other posters have suggested, I have to spend more time on the floor with her - that seems to be key to getting her physically closer to me.
