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"...which breed would best suit us."
mutt.
get one from the dog pound.
we have had 3. still have 1.
they will suit you.
Yeah that would be one of my other recommended dogs as I grew up with shelter mutts and most of my own dogs have been mutts too and were great family dogs. But many people on here will disagree saying you do not know what you are getting with a mutt.
I recommended my Windhound as most I have met run very true to their breed and are just such easy going dogs with stable temperaments as the breeders tend to really care about the breed so [ay attention to such things when doing a breeding. They they are great family dogs. Toddlers at the park have used Daz to pull them selves up and he just stands still and grins and he was not raised with small kids but is great with them. I have never seen any aggression from him he is so chill.
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Again, on this forum, I'm going to recommend a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Small, sweet, calm, smart.
If you're dedicated to getting a puppy, I would steer very clear of large breeds like labs, because in their exuberance they will jump all over your small special needs children.
When you say the dog would "grow up" with your children, though, I have to say. The puppy will "grow up" in a year and a half, so not really growing up with your kids.
As well as the others, I'd have to put in a plug for shelter dogs. If you go to the shelter and describe your needs, they will likely be able to place a very sweet, calm, housebroken dog for your family to love.
Dogs who are rescued from shelters seem to know they've been rescued, and are grateful.
A lot depends on how much time you and your wife can give the puppy. If your idea of interaction is to play a few games of fetch in the backyard and then leave the pup to its own devices, then most puppies are not for you. A puppy needs to be socialized, introduced to different activities and routines, properly house-trained and obedience trained. With two special needs kids, will you have the time to raise a growing puppy as it chews, messes, and then eventually grows into a rowdy adolescent who will need more activity and exercise?
I'm not sure that a young pup would be the best option for your family. As others have said, a young pup (even a three or four-month-old pup) can be a pushy little creature who jumps on your kids and nips their limbs with needle-sharp teeth. You might try to find a three-or-four-year-old dog who needs a new home, preferably one who has been exposed to kids and knows how to be gentle with them.
Many short-haired dogs shed. Are any of your family members allergic to dog hair; or would you just prefer not to deal with long hair that can tangle and mat?
I'd think about: Basset Hounds, Spinone Italiani (an Italian pointing breed that are usually mellow and gentle), Boxers (though quite lively, they can also be very good with kids, though they must be properly trained), Newfoundlands (one of the most mellow, good-natured breeds; but they do slobber; they don't need constant activity either). Golden Retrievers are often wonderful with kids; but they are long-haired and need brushing. A good Labrador is a treasure with most family members (note that both Golden Retrievers and Labs need a lot of running/playing activity as puppies and even as adults). English Setters can be very sweet; but they need to run; your backyard might be suitable; but it also depends on the height of the fence (and they have long hair). A Bracco Italiano might be worth looking into (an Italian hound breed, fairly recently admitted into the American Kennel Club); they are also mellow; and can do well with young children (and have short hair). Pugs and Havanese are among the smaller dogs who might do well with kids; though I'd recommend more research.
You really don't need to get a purebred dog from a breeder. I've owned and trained pedigree and rescue dogs all my life and recommend against a pure bred puppy (who at this point has no personality history except being too cute for his/her fur). A puppy is going to need a lot more attention for training than you will want to deal with at this point in your child's life.
Before you do anything speak with a vet that you trust. There are so many variables in temperament; and a purebred young pup could very likely not be a 'fit'. You might want to consider a Golden Retriever mix or older purebred ... they are gentle and uncanny in 'reading' the needs of a child such as yours. All of this assumes that the dog won't be alone in the house, or God forbid in a yard kennel) if the family is at school and work all day. Not good for any dog.
Your vet is the expert; and I would also speak with your child's physician for advice. We all have our favorite breeds, you need to choose a gentle pet who will love your child and your family unconditionally. There is nothing like the love of a deserving dog that will bring a lot of happiness into your family. Let us know who the lucky fur ball is so we can share your joy. Best wishes.
Great replies so far. Thank you and please keep them coming. Lots to consider!
I guess I should have elaborated on our older kids. They’re 14 and 15, and both want to be veterinarians. My wife and I plan to be with the dog plenty, but it’ll get more than enough attention from those 2
alone.
I recommended my Windhound as most I have met run very true to their breed and are just such easy going dogs with stable temperaments as the breeders tend to really care about the breed so [ay attention to such things when doing a breeding. They they are great family dogs. Toddlers at the park have used Daz to pull them selves up and he just stands still and grins and he was not raised with small kids but is great with them. I have never seen any aggression from him he is so chill.
Great replies so far. Thank you and please keep them coming. Lots to consider!
I guess I should have elaborated on our older kids. They’re 14 and 15, and both want to be veterinarians. My wife and I plan to be with the dog plenty, but it’ll get more than enough attention from those 2
alone.
You are going to have a lot of help with the older interested children so I think you will do well with many different breeds. I really don't have a suggestion as my autistic nephew is doing well with a chihuahua which surprised me. They needed a very small dog for apartment living. He is quite the "rough and ready" boy and has learned to be gentle and they are best friends. A tiny dog like that may not be the best choice with a wheelchair bound child of course.
I also wanted to mention your fencing. That is quite a large yard and you said indoor/outdoor. Many of the breeds that show up on the family/kid friendly breed lists also show up on the dogs most likely to be "escape artists" lists. Any breed can escape of course, but for those inclined to do it, the average fence won't be a secure one. Just mentioning this as you can plan ahead. There is nothing more tragic for a child than to have a beloved pet come up missing. I must see 3-5 a day on my local Facebook page. Not all irresponsible owners either; a determined dog (not unhappy or even bored) can dig, climb or jump most fences in a matter of minutes. In fact a jumper can do it with you standing there.
I will say first off, to be honest, this breed does shed a lot.
Other than that, I did a ton of research before rescuing my current dog, and other than the shedding factor, she's the most perfect breed I've ever encountered, of lots of different kinds of dogs, including working dogs, etc.
The breed I'm talking about is a rat terrier.
They are super, super smart and independent, as terriers are bred to be. But, they are a lot more mellow than a Jack Russell terrier, which are pretty much hyper 24/7.
Rat terriers are by nature not yappers, and are really loving and loyal, but also love everyone, including strangers, unless they feel they need to protect you. Mine will bark when the UPS guy or anyone else knocks on the door. Otherwise, she doesn't bark at all.
They're really easy to train and are just happy, fun-loving dogs. But, do be aware that they were trained to kill rodents, etc., so if you have squirrels in your yard, etc., they will do their best to take them down and kill them.
My dog, though, when faced with a house cat will only chase it if it runs away. And cats are too big to kill, so I would very much doubt a rat terrier would actually kill a fellow house pet.
But, my rat terrier would rather lick a child to death than ever hurt them.
They're really amazingly great companions. Mine is snoring next to me in my chair right now. If I asked her to go on a long hike after waking her up, she'd be thrilled. If I said, let's go to bed, she'd be happy with that, too.
I've just never had such a great companion dog in my life.
The downside to labs or similar great, large dogs - is that they are puppies for a very long time - sometimes up to 3 years. And I know this, because I was married to a duck hunter who had labs he trained as duck hunter retrievers. And then, just as you get them beautifully trained (and they finally stopped chewing and destroying everything), they die rather young. You're lucky to get 10 good years out of a lab or retriever.
A rat terrier, on the other hand, will get out of the un-trainable puppy phase pretty quickly, and they will live 16+ years.
I will say that since I started feeding my rescue rat terrier a raw meat diet - mainly chicken legs (frozen at least 3 days), she actually doesn't shed very much now. I also do feed her a little rice and veggies like carrots.
When my current favorite dog is gone (which I really don't want to even think about), though, I think I might try a non-shedding breed, like a medium sized poodle. If I had a place where I could have a standard size poodle, that's what I'd get. But, I'm old and in apartment buildings where size of dog is limited, so I'd look for a medium size dog I could actually pick up if anything happened.
This is why I look for smaller dogs. I don't like really small dogs, as it seems like you're always having to protect them from other dogs who see them as prey. A 20-25 pound dog is big enough to not be so fragile or vulnerable, but still small enough that I can pick it up if necessary for whatever reason.
Best of luck to you. Dogs are great companions, but it's always wise to really understand what you are getting into as far as breed and just the other realities of having another "kid" you need to take care of.
A lot depends on how much time you and your wife can give the puppy. If your idea of interaction is to play a few games of fetch in the backyard and then leave the pup to its own devices, then most puppies are not for you. A puppy needs to be socialized, introduced to different activities and routines, properly house-trained and obedience trained. With two special needs kids, will you have the time to raise a growing puppy as it chews, messes, and then eventually grows into a rowdy adolescent who will need more activity and exercise?
. . .
Regina's advice was worth quoting to say it again.
Breeds. We will all have preference for the breeds or mixes we own! BTW, Jonov's GSP is a German Shorthaired Pointer. One of my last dogs was a GSP/Lab mix, and he was a great dog - and a rescue. He probably could have gotten along on a daily walk and some fetch. But he was lucky. I have the capacity to give my dogs a daily RUN - and he got 2-3 miles a day, 360 days out of 365. Otherwise, he would have been great in the situation you describe. OTOH, most good quality GSP breeder's pups are going to be high drive and high energy, and not a dog I would recommend as a family dog. But I would not rule them out as a possibility.
Today, I have farm collies. English Shepherds (ES) - but they are very much like Aus Shepherds, Border collies, Shelties. These collie types are all farm collies. They aren't rough collies (used to be Standard collies) - all the smart has mostly been bred out of those dogs. Farm collies are excellent family dogs, if they are raised with kids. They even do all that Lassie stuff from the old movies - protecting the kids - keeping them out of the street - all that. BUT, they must have work and exercise. When you get a bigger bit of property, and add a couple of goats and some chickens, look at them.
I have three points. Outside of general guidelines, don't sweat the breed thing too much. Look at the dog as an individual. Do spend time on making the decision, and having all the family meet the dog before a final decision is made. And training, for the dog, and you, and your wife, AND the kids should be a REAL part of your plan.
General breed stuff. I would avoid the smaller breeds - chihuahuas, pappillons, and the like, as they are small enough that small children may be cruel to them, even unintentionally. I would avoid the large breeds (>70 lbs). As noted, when growing they can be rambunctious and powerful. I would also avoid livestock guardian breeds (LGD), as they are LARGE, and VERY independent and strong-willed. Although they would be great with the kids, I just don't think they tend to be a good fit as a pet or a house-dog.
Spaniels, pointers, retrievers, and even farm collie breeds will all have dogs who might fit. Mixes and rescues will fit. Labs have good personalities. So do some Newfoundlands, but I've also seen some who were ugly with other dogs or people. When looking at rescues, any sign of fear-based behavior rules them out for me. Some terriers would fit, but not Jack Russells or rat terriers - way too much energy, and a Jack Russell will rule your life - not the other way. (As pointed out by another poster, a rat terrier COULD be in the "maybe" column. It would depend on the individual, but they are still energetic, with high prey drive.) Avoid huskies, malamutes, chows - too much prey drive - but you MIGHT find an exception. They do happen. And I would say no to German Shepherds, but maybe to a Dobie.
Next, and to me the most important thing: don't worry (too much) about the breed. DO worry about the dog and the dog's individual personality. If you go the breed/breeder route, DO take time to look up and meet some breeders and dogs before you finalize a breed focus. When you are going for a breed, DO ESPECIALLY go meet the parents of the pup (only the mom might be available. Do what you can to find out how the dad acts). Mom and Dad's behavior is a good predictor for pup's behavior. DO tell the breeder what you are looking for, and what your challenges are. And be honest about it. But keep in mind all dogs are individuals. I know some ES breeders have had pups with little herding drive who might be a good candidate for your home.
Obviously, if the dog is a rescue you can't meet the parents. But you CAN take the WHOLE family to meet the potential adoptee dogs. (Your WHOLE family should meet ANY dog you get BEFORE you get the dog. If that can't happen, do not get the dog.) If you look at rescues, DO NOT plan on going one day and making a decision. For rescues, DO plan on looking at least a few different times at different dogs. If the dog finds a home before you decide - don't worry - there WILL be other dogs - and there WILL be many who can be a "heart" dog for your family. Do NOT rush into a decision because somebody else is going to snap up that dog. DO plan on taking all the kids and the wife to meet any serious candidate dogs. DO plan on spending enough time to find serious candidates for all of your wish list. DO realize that the rescue may not have had enough time to know a dog to know if it will fit your requirements.
One other thing, but highly important. Even critically important. As part of your plan, DO PLAN on obedience lessons, and PLAN on involving the children who are capable of it ALSO being a part of those obedience lessons. You, your wife, and your kids should learn as much as the dog. If the kids are too young, then at a MINIMUM you AND your wife should BOTH be attending obedience classes with the dog. If you both can't attend the first round, one should attend, and the other partner should repeat the class with the dog at a later date - but not too much later. This should not be an "it would be nice" option. It should be a MUST requirement.
Example. My family has had dogs for decades. But they were always pets, with little obedience training. And when we got difficult dogs, as did happen, we were helpless. Running around chasing the runaway dog, etc. UNTIL one of the rescue organizations did something I could not do - force my wife to take the dog to obedience classes (I learned training basics as a child, as my mother bred dogs). Once we were on the same page when it came time for training, our relationship with our dogs improved greatly. Then I could take the hound who was an escape artist out for daily, off-leash runs, because I could then teach her how to behave off-leash. Before that, there was no point to even trying - whatever training I did got undone. Miracles, small miracles! You, and your wife, and your kids, need to learn how to communicate effectively with the dog. In the process, you will have a far more fulfilling relationship with the dog, for all of you.
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