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I'm not going to pay for them to find them selves as they take liberal arts classes in basket weaving.
If they pay for it they will excel and be focused not in this "ho life is beautiful" cloud of disillusion, singing kumbaya wasting their folks money.
I agree that sending a child to school to find themselves is a waste of money but I just got a really energetic phone call from a pretty happy 18 year old bragging about his grades and how proud he is of his first semester (so far). He was also pretty excited at the prospect of being able to graduate in 7 semesters.
BTW Liberal arts is not a bad word. Many liberal arts majors are in high demand (like math....).
It doesn't matter what my husband and I make per year, we will contribute to their college educations, not fund them. They will work, get loans, and try their best to obtain scholarships. We will not mortgage our home or add any other additional liens. That's how it is in the real world -- people, parents included, should not have to pay your way.
To the OP.....It is your money and if your child isn't a serious student then you absolutely could simply keep it and add it to your retirement.
But, I would be disappointed in myself as a parent knowing I "could have" given my child a higher education but chose not to and they are now suffering at a miserable low wage job or worse yet saddled with 200K in loans.
I would NEVER co-sign a student loan. I would sell everything I owned before I did that move. If the kid wants to do it fine (though I would oppose the idea) but there is no way I'm getting wrapped into that slavery!
Not knocking it, but college is an optional endeavor. Not going to college doesn't equate to having a "miserable low wage job". Both husband and I are college dropouts who make good money. We are definitely not miserable. If my kids decide that college isn't for them, I'd encourage them to pursue a skill set that will make them always in demand. Fortunately for both of us, we did just that.
That's not entirely true. There are still schools that offer substantial academic scholarships that are not need based. They are not "free ride" scholarships but might cover $15-$30K per year at a private university. You have to do a bit of research about schools to find out which schools offer these scholarships. You won't find them in the top 10 universities but there are some in the top 50.
My son was able to secure a substantial academic scholarship. He had a 3.9 UW GPA and scored in the top 1% on his standardized tests. There are schools out there where it is possible to get an academic scholarship but you have to be a very tippy top student to get them.
Sounds like you are talking about the national merit level, which is a whole different issue. Many schools have pure merit National Merit scholarships, but even those are now switching towards need-based determinations. Realistically, if a student is at that level they are much better off seeking private foundation scholarships rather than relying on scholarships from their institution.
While my experience was about 15 years ago, I had a parent who decided he was not going to pay for college during my junior year.
I did have a "full ride" merit scholarship and a 40-hour per week job in the off-season and 20-hour per week in-season (NCAA rules forbid athletes at any level from working more than 20 hours in-season and from working off-campus at all). I took a full course load every quarter. I also took out subsidized loans to help cover living expenses during season.
And when my father refused to pay for college, the school took away everything. My scholarship, my work-study, my job, and my loans (which became immediately payable in full, and hence I defaulted) were all gone in less than 6 weeks. So, be aware that if you refuse to pay, the school is within its rights to revoke every single bit of financial assistance your child is receiving, including their job.
With the defaulted student loan, I was ineligible to register and dropped out of school for the next 8 years while I worked fast food, temp work, and as a lab tech at another school to get enough money to pay off my loan. When I had that loan paid off, I was forced to transfer as well because I had exceeded the maximum term to graduate. Finally at age 31, I graduated from college. At 34, I earned my masters and quadrupled my income in 4 years. My lost income just from those 8 years is nearly 10x what my parents' contribution would have been for my last 2 years of college, not to mention my lifetime lost earnings from the loss of work experience in my field.
While my experience was about 15 years ago, I had a parent who decided he was not going to pay for college during my junior year.
I did have a "full ride" merit scholarship and a 40-hour per week job in the off-season and 20-hour per week in-season (NCAA rules forbid athletes at any level from working more than 20 hours in-season and from working off-campus at all). I took a full course load every quarter. I also took out subsidized loans to help cover living expenses during season.
And when my father refused to pay for college, the school took away everything. My scholarship, my work-study, my job, and my loans (which became immediately payable in full, and hence I defaulted) were all gone in less than 6 weeks. So, be aware that if you refuse to pay, the school is within its rights to revoke every single bit of financial assistance your child is receiving, including their job.
With the defaulted student loan, I was ineligible to register and dropped out of school for the next 8 years while I worked fast food, temp work, and as a lab tech at another school to get enough money to pay off my loan. When I had that loan paid off, I was forced to transfer as well because I had exceeded the maximum term to graduate. Finally at age 31, I graduated from college. At 34, I earned my masters and quadrupled my income in 4 years. My lost income just from those 8 years is nearly 10x what my parents' contribution would have been for my last 2 years of college, not to mention my lifetime lost earnings from the loss of work experience in my field.
That's so sad that your dad abruptly stopped paying like that, costing you everything you had worked so hard for. Where was your mom during all of this?
I'm glad that you were able to pull yourself up after that and work yourself through a degree (and a masters, too). Not easy. You deserve a lot of credit for doing that.
And FYI, "college" was a far, far smaller expense than half a century ago. The OP's q stands, however - in the current US system do parents have to be a part of paying for college, and the answer is no. If one wishes to take advantage of current Federal programs, though,the answer is (generally) yes.
If by ??? you are asking what I mean by anti-college sentiment on this forum, go back and read a few threads, and specifically those by the poster I was responding to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear
That's not entirely true. There are still schools that offer substantial academic scholarships that are not need based. They are not "free ride" scholarships but might cover $15-$30K per year at a private university. You have to do a bit of research about schools to find out which schools offer these scholarships. You won't find them in the top 10 universities but there are some in the top 50.
My son was able to secure a substantial academic scholarship. He had a 3.9 UW GPA and scored in the top 1% on his standardized tests. There are schools out there where it is possible to get an academic scholarship but you have to be a very tippy top student to get them.
My daughter graduated from college in 2009 (just to give a timeline here). She went to a private college that gave her a scholarship that basically brought the cost down to roughly the cost as an in-state student at the University of Colorado. She was in the top 10% of her HS class. I don't remember all the GPA stuff any more. But basically, many private colleges do give out money like this. She did not have to do a special app, either. The college app served as the fin aid app, for that type of aid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brocco
if your kids aren't college material then they aren't college material. that is a different issue entirely
Who decides just who is "college material"? Just who decides what "college material" IS, anyway?
Quote:
Originally Posted by marigolds6
Sounds like you are talking about the national merit level, which is a whole different issue. Many schools have pure merit National Merit scholarships, but even those are now switching towards need-based determinations. Realistically, if a student is at that level they are much better off seeking private foundation scholarships rather than relying on scholarships from their institution.
Sounds like you are talking about the national merit level, which is a whole different issue. Many schools have pure merit National Merit scholarships, but even those are now switching towards need-based determinations. Realistically, if a student is at that level they are much better off seeking private foundation scholarships rather than relying on scholarships from their institution.
No my son missed NM by a point on his PSAT. His scholarship is a university scholarship. Schools are so different that you really have to research what it available. We did not do a great job of it as my son was accepted to the Naval Academy and got sick after he received his appointment which disqualified him from attending. He had not applied for many private scholarships because he though he would be going to USNA which wouldn't have a dollar cost. We just got lucky that he was offered a good scholarship. We will be wiser with the younger ones.
Who decides just who is "college material"? Just who decides what "college material" IS, anyway?
My guess is that if the parents are paying the parents are the ones who decide. If I had doubts about my child's ability to graduate I would not be paying for school. Even though I have a strong belief in higher education there are some kids who are not ready, or able to succeed in college. It really makes sense for a parent to push their child towards the appropriate education FOR THEM, which may not include college.
My kids range from good to excellent students. I am happy to help them get through college. However, if they were not college material in my eyes I would be pointing them in a different direction.
Edited to add: My son did not have to make a special application for his university scholarship either. The scholarship award came with the acceptance letter.
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