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Whether than whining about it, she should dominate like she is supposedly capable of. But I guess the American thing to do nowawadays is cry foul and find ways to coddle kids. No wonder they're unprepared for anything. As long as we are teaching them not to stand up for themselves for fight for themselves, we will see a rise in "giving up" like all the kids committing suicide unable to handle bullying. As if it's some new epidemic.
So- my daughter started a new Catholic elementary school this year. It is a small, cliquey school. Seems to be major favoritism at work here. So...in PE- the teacher allows the students to choose teams (generally the same few kids chosen as captains). According to my daughter she is always picked last- and the captain who picks last always sighs and says "ugh. why do we have to have her?'' Now- here is the interesting part- my daughter is probably the most athletic child in the grade. She plays travel for three sports. But she is not "popular" and has been basically ignored as the new student. I am sort of in disbelief that this sort of blatant bullying/popularity contest is allowed in PE class. These are 4th graders! This seems very 1980's to me. Thoughts?
Heck, it is more like 1950s or 1960s.
None of the schools where I worked were selecting teams like that the 1980s.
I am shocked that the gym teacher allows a student to say negative comments about a peer. That makes me think that the school is not as good as you think it is.
None of the schools where I worked were selecting teams like that the 1980s.
I am shocked that the gym teacher allows a student to say negative comments about a peer. That makes me think that the school is not as good as you think it is.
I agree. Or maybe the gym teacher isn't doing his/her job and taking care of the smack talking student.
I was in school in the 80's. A private school. Once you hit middle school years (7th & 8th) - you picked a sport to play during gym. Practice for basketball, volleyball, x-country, lacrosse, softball, baseball, etc was what we did as team during gym (last period of the day). We played against other private schools that had MS teams.
In elementary years, our PE teachers would make us line up. Then they would go down the line giving the kid on the end where they started a 1 and the next kid a 2, the 3rd kid a 1, etc.
There were your teams.
Took a lot less time & when kids would position themselves to be on their friends team or the PE teacher would notice one team was starting to get stacked? They'd get sent to the end of the line.
I did attend a public school up and until 5th grade. Those gym teachers would take the kids who seemed to always picked last and make him/her captain of the team. If anyone groaned/moaned, they were invited to plant their rear ends on the bleachers or sidelines. They also did the "line up" method.
I don't know any "gym class" that is supposed to "teach" how to suck it up or how to deal with "rejection". IMO, it should only be about getting physical exercise.
Now- here is the interesting part- my daughter is probably the most athletic child in the grade. She plays travel for three sports.
Then she would have wowed them, and this would not be an issue the next time teams were picked. Everyone would want the most athletic child in the grade.
Really? Then where are they going to learn how to handle rejection? At home where they are given anything and everything they want and their parents fuss because their child was picked last?
Not in gym. It's not necessary. School (and gym class) isn't supposed to be about tearing kids down. What other class does one take in school where one is rejected by his/her peers?
They'll learn all about rejection when they DON'T make the HS team - or if it's a "no cut" school, they warm the bench and all they do is warm the bench, don't make 1st, 2nd or 3rd chair, don't get their artwork picked to be displayed in the school gallery or halls & no matter how much time and effort they put in, don't get the lead in the play or any part at all, don't get invited to a party everyone else did, apply to colleges they don't get in to, ask a girl out and it's "no", have a crush and he ignores you and asks your BFF out, etc.
Quote:
Why is it that children cannot learn how to handle rejection around other children at school but parents expect school teacher to teach their children how to behave because the parents just don't have time, or they are tired or it is easier to just give in to what the child wants to hush them or.........
You're bundling. We're talking about a gym class.
Last edited by Informed Info; 04-21-2015 at 09:12 PM..
Allowing kids to pick teams is a lazy approach, but even if teams are assigned at random or selected by the teacher, it's still not going to cause a kid who's being excluded and ostracized to be suddenly embraced and accepted. The snubbing might not happen in gym class (but let's be real, it will STILL happen, even if the teacher assigns teams, when the snotty kids who don't want your daughter on their team roll their eyes or snicker when she gets placed on it), but it's still gonna happen.
You can't control whether or not your kid gets socially excluded. The most you can do is to teach her to handle such treatment with grace and rise above it.
So- my daughter started a new Catholic elementary school this year. It is a small, cliquey school. Seems to be major favoritism at work here. So...in PE- the teacher allows the students to choose teams (generally the same few kids chosen as captains). According to my daughter she is always picked last- and the captain who picks last always sighs and says "ugh. why do we have to have her?'' Now- here is the interesting part- my daughter is probably the most athletic child in the grade. She plays travel for three sports. But she is not "popular" and has been basically ignored as the new student. I am sort of in disbelief that this sort of blatant bullying/popularity contest is allowed in PE class. These are 4th graders! This seems very 1980's to me. Thoughts?
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Originally Posted by villageidiot1
Teachers should never allow students to pick teams. It is laziness on the part of the teacher to allow this to happen. The teacher could easily have teams pre-selected and simply announce who is on which team. I would complain to the school administration and tell them you don't need to pay tuition to have your child bullied. For all the anti-bullying programs in schools, it is amazing that something like this is allowed to occur. I would prefer having the class count off by 2s, and later making adjustments if the teams aren't evenly matched.
I wouldn't call it bullying. It is despicable, however. Adults should never encourage ostracism. I graduated high school in 1975. I have etched in my memory many episodes of adults acting like the children they are supposed to mentor.
On the other hand, I just posted a few weeks ago in an obituary site paeans to a music teacher/band leader that went out of his way to teach principals of cooperation, inclusiveness and just being nice. And there was nothing politically liberal about him.
I remember when I was in elementary school gym class and playground. I was so afraid of being picked last. It was like the ultimate insult. I was always read to crap my pants when time came to pick teams.
By the time I got to Middle school, I realized how silly that was, and how idiotic children can be sometimes.
The fact that you felt bad from being picked last is even worse than the notion someone picked you last to insult you. You should not even care what this team captain thinks. You should relish being the last pick, even if it is meant as an insult. And then play better than everyone else despite what they think of you.
Then she would have wowed them, and this would not be an issue the next time teams were picked. Everyone would want the most athletic child in the grade.
Something else must be in play....
You're applying logic and that is not what is going on here. The seemingly most athletic kids are usually chosen as captains by the teacher but from then on has little to do with ability and more to do with cliquish manipulation. You're my friend. I want you to be my friend. I want to punish the other captain by not letting them have you. I want to punish the other team by forcing them to take you. You're not my friend. You're not anyone's friend. The game being played here has nothing to do with what sport they are playing.
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Originally Posted by Sawdustmaker
Not in gym. It's not necessary. School (and gym class) isn't supposed to be about tearing kids down. What other class does one take in school where one is rejected by his/her peers?
They'll learn all about rejection when they DON'T make the HS team - or if it's a "no cut" school, they warm the bench and all they do is warm the bench, don't make 1st, 2nd or 3rd chair, don't get their artwork picked to be displayed in the school gallery or halls & no matter how much time and effort they put in, don't get the lead in the play or any part at all, don't get invited to a party everyone else did, apply to colleges they don't get in to, ask a girl out and it's "no", have a crush and he ignores you and asks your BFF out, etc.
.
Exactly. And this is the one they can learn from because it's for a reason that while they may not like it, they can understand it. Katie is a better striker; easily demonstrated on the pitch.
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Originally Posted by jbgusa
I wouldn't call it bullying. It is despicable, however. Adults should never encourage ostracism. I graduated high school in 1975. I have etched in my memory many episodes of adults acting like the children they are supposed to mentor.
On the other hand, I just posted a few weeks ago in an obituary site paeans to a music teacher/band leader that went out of his way to teach principals of cooperation, inclusiveness and just being nice. And there was nothing politically liberal about him.
I lived the same school era and learned those lesson's too. Learned to hate gym, PE, school itself. And you are absolutely right, this has nothing to do with being liberal or conservative. It has to do with integrity and simple manners. It is about doing right, not being right.
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