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Seems like bullies get away with all sorts of crap that if they were an adult they'd be locked up in the slammer or at least be able to have some legal recourse.
So why is it bullies are given so much power and few consequences?
My opinion? Because, deep down, America loves a bully. Bullying is our approach to the rest of the world any time we can get away with it. Bullying permeates our society as an undercurrent, so much so that most Americans would deny it because they have never stopped to think about just how often police, agencies, corporations, sisters-in-law, and teenage boys habitually bully anyone they can get away with. Not every, and not all the time, but it is just part of our culture. It just is, and it is unlikely to change in the foreseeable future.
I made a topic in CE about a girl that took her own life due to bullying by others, including having very lewd photos of her photoshopped and she was harassed among other things. A good point that was brought up is if the same kinds of things that happen to kids that are bullied were done by an adult to another adult there would be SEVERE consequences. Why is it any different for kids especially in middle/high school? Seems like bullies get away with all sorts of crap that if they were an adult they'd be locked up in the slammer or at least be able to have some legal recourse.
So why is it bullies are given so much power and few consequences?
I used to ask myself that same question and eventually stopped because there are a ton of things that don't make sense in society and we have leaders promoting it as well as the brainwashed followers. Life is/was never easy for me and I noticed that people who stood up for themselves were often the ones who got into trouble and not the bullies. Also, don't be surprised to know that some teachers actively and passively participate in bullying. I have seen it with my own eyes. And bullying extends beyonf school into the workplace sometimes. You know...I always feel as if people havent.mentally left school.
Because, many teachers either don't want to get involved or secretly support the bully. Of course the bully gets away with it. If they got punished a few times they wouldn't do it. But what often happens is the school looks the other way or if they can't punishes the victim for being the victim and others soon learn what happens. I was bullied mercilessly while in school because I was the geeky non athletic kid. Of course the teachers new it. And I learned really quick that fighting back just got me in more trouble because I would then get punished for fighting on top of having been bullied. Worst example was in PE one day. Several kids held me to the wall while others threw balls at my head and all the while the PE teacher was in the gym doing his best to appear busy so that he didn't "see" anything. Only after I was in a crumpled heap did he come over. Did he say anything to them? Nope. Just fussed at me about "why did I let them beat me up?" Yeah, sure I LET a gym class of guys beat the crap out of me. What a worthless sack of manure he was.
Humans can really discuss me but trust me, I know the feeling.
My opinion? Because, deep down, America loves a bully. Bullying is our approach to the rest of the world any time we can get away with it. Bullying permeates our society as an undercurrent, so much so that most Americans would deny it because they have never stopped to think about just how often police, agencies, corporations, sisters-in-law, and teenage boys habitually bully anyone they can get away with. Not every, and not all the time, but it is just part of our culture. It just is, and it is unlikely to change in the foreseeable future.
Really good post. One thing I have learned is that it is only wrong when you get caught. It's like our econ
Omic system. So rigged and full of crime but goes unpunished. You can squander billions of people's money and be a free man but let someone on the streets mug someone and they get prison.
Because, many teachers either don't want to get involved or secretly support the bully. Of course the bully gets away with it. If they got punished a few times they wouldn't do it. But what often happens is the school looks the other way or if they can't punishes the victim for being the victim and others soon learn what happens. I was bullied mercilessly while in school because I was the geeky non athletic kid. Of course the teachers new it. And I learned really quick that fighting back just got me in more trouble because I would then get punished for fighting on top of having been bullied.
That was my experience too, as I have posted about many times in the past.
Quote:
Worst example was in PE one day. Several kids held me to the wall while others threw balls at my head and all the while the PE teacher was in the gym doing his best to appear busy so that he didn't "see" anything. Only after I was in a crumpled heap did he come over. Did he say anything to them? Nope. Just fussed at me about "why did I let them beat me up?" Yeah, sure I LET a gym class of guys beat the crap out of me. What a worthless sack of manure he was.
I was in a similar situation in gym class when I was in 8th grade. Several students picked me up and threw me out the door leading to outside. It was winter, so that door was locked from the outside. I started banging on the door in order so that somebody would open it from inside so that I could get back inside the gym. The gym teacher then told me that I got an F for the day! I then tried to explain to him that it was other students who threw me out the door, and that I did not choose to go outside. He then gave me another F for talking back to him! Typical case of blaming and punishing the victim.
There is another aspect of this which I think is not explored enough. Punishing the bully is, of course, a necessity.
But I don't enough attention is paid to why some children are perpetual victims.
because they dont fit the mould... with looks.. clothes, shy behavour.. maybe dont have many friends. but the victims are never ever to blame.. so please dont even go there.
Zero tolerance has worked in 4 of the school districts in my area. It will take a few years to see how it spreads out to the community. Our sports programs (mainly the coaches) are having a hard time creating good athletes without a bit of demeaning epithets thrown around. Walking the talk is a bit hard for these leaders...
My neighbors boy seems to have great athletic skills but even he gets bullied by his coach ...There is a difference in a directive and a snarky phrase...To motivate a talent...
Teens are well aware of their bully tactics...They don't get a free pass for not having a fully developed brain...They do get discipline
The most recent case of bullying in our school involved a student I will call S. He is a nice kid, gets along well with his peers most of the time, but if there is any joking around he immediately over reacts. I will give the two examples I personally witnessed. First, reshman sit in one of four tables near the front of the cafeteria, because we have had issues of them not cleaning up after themselves. While I was on lunch duty, I witnessed him and several of his table mates, laughing goofing around, and growing popcorn at one another. I told them to stop and to pick up the popcorn. He then went to the principal and accused his friends of bullying him. I watched him cheerfully throw the first piece of popcorn, and by the time I had gotten there they had each thrown some. Another time I was covering a class he was in, and the students had been left group work. They were to work with a partner. The boy who sat behind him asked S if he wanted to be partners, and loudly S replied "EW NOT WITH YOU". I asked S to step out into the hallway with me, and told him first that was not appropriate to turn someone down that way, and he immediately accused me of bullying him. He accused so many teachers and students of accusing him, that people began to avoid him, in order to avoid being accused of bullying.
This child had been taught that anytime someone hurt his feelings he was being bullied, he had also been taught that his own behavior was always that of the victim, and anyone who disagreed with him was a bully. By the time he was halfway through the year, his parents had started a lawsuit against the school, and named all 7 of his freshman teachers, his guidance counselor and the principal as personally bullying him in addition to the rest of his grade. We later found out he had sued 4 different schools before ours for the same issue.
This is a shame not just for his child who could not adjust to having friends but also for children who actually do get bullied, as this child took up all of the available resources by loudly and constantly demanding bullying investigations literally, daily.
because they dont fit the mould... with looks.. clothes, shy behavour.. maybe dont have many friends. but the victims are never ever to blame.. so please dont even go there.
Unfortunately, he is right, there are certain kids that constantly get bullied, all that changes from incident to incident is the bully and the bully's method of torture. Trying to figure out what makes a child more likely to be a serial victim isn't blaming them anymore than trying to figure out what makes a child more likely to be born with a heart defect is blaming them. You can't take the seemingly permanent target off their back unless you know how it got there in the first place. Yes, the bully is responsible for their behavior and should have consequences, but that only takes care of the immediate problem. Repeatedly being the target is far, far more damaging than any one incident. Part of the goal in addressing bullying needs to be how to best make children bully proof. There are all kinds of things people do that aren't wrong, and certainly don't make them bad people, but nonetheless set them up for failure. Kids who are repeatedly being bullied are essentially doing just that and prevention is always better, and less painful, than trying to fix the damage afterwards.
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