Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I agree that the teacher needs to be told. The little girl that told your daughter to "go back to the mean place where you born" needs taught to accept others and she needs to apologize to your daughter. That just might help both of them. Give it time, things will get better. Kids bounce from one friend to another all of the time.
I would email the teacher and let him/her know what happened. Also, let them know that she is having trouble making a friend. I am sure the teacher can find a kid in the class that she thinks would be a good fit for her and pair them together.
Good luck and she will be fine...
I like this idea. A district I used to work in as an OT had a "buddy" from the class they assigned to new kids to show them around and introduce them to the other kids, things like that. Really good teachers in younger grades also prepare the class for a new student and talk about how to make the new student feel welcome. Maybe your child's teacher can arrange something like this. Along with the few mean kids, there are also some very kind and compassionate kids in every class, and the teacher knows who they are.
You might also want to get her into a group activity such as Girl Scouts where she will make friends outside of school.
I am SO sorry that you and your daughter are going through this. My daughter is in 3rd grade and there were issues in her class last year. Girls start getting nasty at that age! They are clicky and will exclude other girls from their group. If your child is different in ANY way, they will bully her. I would send a note/email to the teacher and let her know what is going on. Things should never get to the point where your daughter doesn't want to go to school. I love the idea from the poster above who suggested joining outside activities - girl scouts is a wonderful organization. Good luck!
I agree that the teacher needs to be told. The little girl that told your daughter to "go back to the mean place where you born" needs taught to accept others and she needs to apologize to your daughter. That just might help both of them. Give it time, things will get better. Kids bounce from one friend to another all of the time.
Sounds like something that could have only come from her parents. Kids don't discriminate on their own.
There is something you're not saying, is what I meant, and now it certainly seems true.
edited to add: I went to your profile and it was what I knew - this child is being rejected because she's muslim, not because of something about her behavior or character.
This is something the teacher can help fix with an educational lesson. In cases like this, a child can bring items that describe her culture, stuff about her life, and make it clear she's a US born citizen. There is some educating to do here, and these peers are arriving at school with a fixed negative notion about muslims.
In the future if you want help quickly on a forum it might be better if you state the problem clearly. It's not a mystery what "mean country" they're referring to out of ignorance.
Well the lesson won't help as much as you think it will.
It will work for about 2 weeks. During those 2 weeks, the kid MUST make new friends or when the 2 week period is over, things are going to go back to normal.
As long as the kid makes at least 1 friend during the 2 weeks, everything will eventually be OK, but if they do not, it will be like the lesson never happened.
My experience today is that the teaching profession is a little more on the ball than back when I was in Grade Two. Almost everywhere. Maybe it's more training, maybe BECAUSE there's so much culture differences that they have to watch out.
Most kids grades and social skills nose dive on a move. Mine went up. We moved so much in my early years that I solved the bully problem by finding out quick who the big kid was and picking a fight with him. He'd usually laugh, and I'd be in. No grade two kid wanted to pick a fight with anyone as crazy as me, and that was the end of it.
You should talk, not email, and/or just drop by the grounds and see which teacher does the grounds observation work, and casually mention your kid is not fitting in, and my guess is they'll be an introduction to one of the "inclusive" kids. Seems like yesterday. The new kid just needs one friend, and the "cool group" isn't going to let anyone else in anyway!!!
Your ZIP code shows a pretty diverse population. Sometimes that creates a good mix, sometime there is hostility among blocks. I'd suggest a conference face to face with the teacher or an assistant principal to discover the way things work in your area.
My non-Catholic kids were sent to a Roman Catholic school system because there was no acceptable school for their ages. There was hostility in the early grades. They stayed in that system through high school and have life time friends from that high school. The other kids grew and changed their attitudes.
Youngsters derive their attitudes from things their parents say in unguarded moments. They have no social skills or filters. These same parents will show love and peace and acceptance in public statements, but still are ingrained with parental attitudes. You have to teach that sad fact to your kids.
Get her involved in some extracurriculars ASAP - a sport, scouting, crafts, after school clubs, etc., - some kind of social activity to help her make some friends. And yes, let the teacher know what is going on - she may be able to help your daughter find a friendly face. Also help her find a Muslim friend even if not at school - it helps if she doesn't have to feel she's the only one.
We just moved to a new state due to hubby job. My 2nd grader who is very friendly is having very hard time in the school. She used to love going to the school but tonight was the first time she said she doesn’t want to go to school. When I asked her she told me that no one plays with her and tell her to go away. She said she asked in the recess time if she can play with the girls and one of the girl said that we are not going to play with you and you should go back to the mean place you were born. This is something so new for me . Never had anything like that .
I don’t really want to get involved in the school drama as I know it takes time to adjust but I feel these are really harsh words from a second grader.
I told my daughter to play with other girls but she told me most of them plays with that girl .
I told her to not feel anything and be strong and be nice with others but what else should I tell her to comfort her?
How about there are these people in life who are called bullies and they often pick people at random. There is no reason for this other than making themselves feel better than others, whether they are or not.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
