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On recommendations: I can highly recommend Duke's ADHD program at Rutherford St. I don't have their number on hand, but I can track it down. They specialize in getting *correct* diagnoses and they've got a very good rep among psychologists down here (my wife also works for the med center, but she's in the dept. of pediatrics). I can ask her for specific recommendations if you'd like. There's no harm in getting assessed, right?
Retired teacher here, and just don't know how quite to respond. I have such mixed feelings about the rigors of testing children for 'disabilities' and the subsequent labeling. I sometimes wonder if we, parents, and school personnel, for *whatever* reasons, are less equipped today to actually deal with children? and very active ones, different ones, end up 'labeled' and consequently, medicated?
My own sister was diagnosed as ADD as a child, and when she didn't like how she felt on the meds, begged my parents to let her not take it. I always wondered if it is a shortcoming on the part of some teachers that they have difficulty handling children like what she was? Not to blame the teacher(s) mind you, as so many just have never had the training -- especially with the effort today to mainstream. Subsequently, this sister's children have been labeled ADD, and the youngest as ADHD.
I would suggest, like others here have, that you travel down as many possible avenues as you can physically, and emotionally, handle -- short of the testing and labeling and medicating. A change in diet, a strict adherence to schedules, discipline (not necessarily punishment), provide plenty of physical activities, learning opportunities appropriate to the child's age, needs, interests. Please be sure, too, that since this has become an issue, that your son continue to be made to feel 'good' about himself, and doesn't somehow get the impression there is something 'wrong' with him.
And lastly, just because your son's teacher may think he has ADD, doesn't necessarily mean he does. I would wonder if his hyperactivity isn't part of being a boy, for that matter, or if he is just plain bored with what the children are doing in class. The teacher might do well to consider some lessons structured a bit differently for the boy, and others in class like him.
Sorry. I know you all have to be perplexed right now.
Your son is just a boy. By that I mean that we all dont fit into the round holes, some of us are square pegs. No matter how hard you hit us, we do not fit in the hole. Let your son be a boy. Challenge the school to challenge him. He daydreams because he is bored. He processes stuff quickly and moves onto the next. I speak from experience, they tried to drug me for years. I was the spawn of Satan lol. In reality I was bored, the work was not challenging enough to hold my interest.
My son went through the same thing. Met with a head doc and they suggested this and that blah blah blah. He is now 13, plays 4 sports, drama club, band, and is a straight A student. It is my belief that the schools want zombies for students. Do not let them raise your child, that is your job. THe school system should educated the children. Good luck and fight the fight, in the end you are the parent and you truly know what is best.
Your son is just a boy. By that I mean that we all dont fit into the round holes, some of us are square pegs. No matter how hard you hit us, we do not fit in the hole. Let your son be a boy. Challenge the school to challenge him. He daydreams because he is bored. He processes stuff quickly and moves onto the next. I speak from experience, they tried to drug me for years. I was the spawn of Satan lol. In reality I was bored, the work was not challenging enough to hold my interest.
My son went through the same thing. Met with a head doc and they suggested this and that blah blah blah. He is now 13, plays 4 sports, drama club, band, and is a straight A student. It is my belief that the schools want zombies for students. Do not let them raise your child, that is your job. THe school system should educated the children. Good luck and fight the fight, in the end you are the parent and you truly know what is best.
You make a lot of good points, piratelife.
Unfortunately, I think many teachers overlook that children coming to school today have been 'entertained.' Just consider Sesame Street and the approach to learning there. . . so much more fun, and engaging, than sitting at a table in a chair, or in desks, most of the day.
I have been doing some substitute-teaching since my retirement, and I have been amazed at the number of K-6 teachers who want the children sitting and doing things at a table most of the day. I followed the teacher's lesson plans, as far as the objectives, but saw no reason why they couldn't stand in the classroom, and we add numbers using them as 'manipulatives.' How much more fun to add 3 boys + 3 boys. The physical kids were up and out of their seats, and the visual learners had something to see. The hands-on kids could help 'move' their classmates, and they were all engaged in the lesson. We did the problem, and then they wrote their answers on the sheet. The last few problems, I had them return to their seats, to do independently, to check for understanding.
At that point, sitting for a little while, and pushing the pencil was no problem.
Your son is just a boy. By that I mean that we all dont fit into the round holes, some of us are square pegs. No matter how hard you hit us, we do not fit in the hole. Let your son be a boy. Challenge the school to challenge him. He daydreams because he is bored. He processes stuff quickly and moves onto the next. I speak from experience, they tried to drug me for years. I was the spawn of Satan lol. In reality I was bored, the work was not challenging enough to hold my interest.
My son went through the same thing. Met with a head doc and they suggested this and that blah blah blah. He is now 13, plays 4 sports, drama club, band, and is a straight A student. It is my belief that the schools want zombies for students. Do not let them raise your child, that is your job. THe school system should educated the children. Good luck and fight the fight, in the end you are the parent and you truly know what is best.
People who are saying "he's just a boy" - don't you think the teacher has worked with other children in her career?
OP, what do you think of the teacher in general? Does he/she seem competent and experienced? Do you value his/her judgment? (If not, why is he even still in that class?!?)
You're all doing the OP a disservice by jumping to "he's just being a boy". We all know what being a boy is like. There are some kids who are qualitatively different from that. ADHD is real. It causes all sorts of problems down the road if it's not treated. A concerned parent *has* to get his/her child tested if there's concern. I don't care if you don't want to medicate - you don't have to because there are behavioral treatments for it (I'd exhaust every possible behavioral intervention before medicating my son) - but you've got to do something to help your child learn to function with ADHD if he's got it. A professional will help you with your options, both medical and non-medical.
To do nothing because you think it's over-diagnosed is just stubborn and neglectful.
RD- Nice approach to addressing the needs of the classroom. With that approach you were able to meet the needs of the vastly different ways that individuals learn. Kudos
People who are saying "he's just a boy" - don't you think the teacher has worked with other children in her career?
OP, what do you think of the teacher in general? Does he/she seem competent and experienced? Do you value his/her judgment? (If not, why is he even still in that class?!?)
You're all doing the OP a disservice by jumping to "he's just being a boy". We all know what being a boy is like. There are some kids who are qualitatively different from that. ADHD is real. It causes all sorts of problems down the road if it's not treated. A concerned parent *has* to get his/her child tested if there's concern. I don't care if you don't want to medicate - you don't have to because there are behavioral treatments for it (I'd exhaust every possible behavioral intervention before medicating my son) - but you've got to do something to help your child learn to function with ADHD if he's got it. A professional will help you with your options, both medical and non-medical.
To do nothing because you think it's over-diagnosed is just stubborn and neglectful.
I wasn't suggesting dismissing the situation to the child 'just being a boy.' Nor am I bashing the professional judgment of the teacher. I was offering yet another point to consider, and from having taught 25+ years, I can attest that many of my colleagues were poorly-equipped, or not sufficiently trained, to work with some children's exceptionalities, whether they were labeled or not. Many teachers will tell you, "I didn't learn that in my EDU classes."
There is a strong move to mainstream children today, as it should be, but the Special ED teachers need to be 'mainstreamed' with the students. Special ED programs are far under-funded, and under-staffed.
I might go so far as to test a child, but short of labeling, and possibly medicating, him/her, I would look at more conservatives measures. My suggestions were not an attempt to ignore the concerns, or question, necessarily, the teacher's judgment, but were more as an advocate for the child who is sort of at the mercy of the adults who are trying to look after his/her best interests.
You are right in that ultimately, the child, and anybody else he/she may come into contact with, will have to learn how to deal with an exceptionality. I just think medication is too often prescribed, and before I put a child through the rigors of testing, and all of the self-doubt that it instills, I'd try conservative measures like I suggested earlier.
People who are saying "he's just a boy" - don't you think the teacher has worked with other children in her career?
OP, what do you think of the teacher in general? Does he/she seem competent and experienced? Do you value his/her judgment? (If not, why is he even still in that class?!?)
You're all doing the OP a disservice by jumping to "he's just being a boy". We all know what being a boy is like. There are some kids who are qualitatively different from that. ADHD is real. It causes all sorts of problems down the road if it's not treated. A concerned parent *has* to get his/her child tested if there's concern. I don't care if you don't want to medicate - you don't have to because there are behavioral treatments for it (I'd exhaust every possible behavioral intervention before medicating my son) - but you've got to do something to help your child learn to function with ADHD if he's got it. A professional will help you with your options, both medical and non-medical.
To do nothing because you think it's over-diagnosed is just stubborn and neglectful.
And you are doing a disservice to the child. Here is the issue, you take your child to get evaluated and they recommend meds. You, as a parent, decline and the schools system fights back and demands the kid be placed on meds. You have surrendered your right as a parent to make decisions. This is a slippery slope and once it starts it is a fight the entire way. I speak from experience. The experience of having ADD or ADHD or whatever else there is today. The fact of the matter is this, the child needs to be challenged and stimulated, end of story. I also work with the youth in our community. I coach football, soccer, baseball, and skiing. I also coach inner city kids. Guess what, I see numerous behavior problems, but I find a way to reach the kids. I have been approached, as a coach, by numerous parents asking the same questions. I am giving my advice based on my experience. Im not a doctor, but then again I didnt read the owners manual when my child was born either.
If you believe that this behavior should be treated, I offer this. Maybe it is the rest of the class that is off key. Maybe they should be fed pills to speed them up so they can learn more in a year and be more productive. If we do this would could eliminate some of the grades and save the community millions in tax dollars. I dont have an issue with an evaluation, but I would do it outside of the schools knowledge. One should make their decision as a parent and not from the influence of the school system. Maybe my expectations are different. I expect the schools to educate my child. I will handle the rest. I don't need or want their advice on what i serve for dinner or anything else for that matter. Furthermore, I even check on the education they are receiving. We do the homework together.
I am honestly happy with the feedback that I got. Everyone had something to say which I appreciated. Putting this thread up was the right thing to do. But as some of you said, the evaluation will not hurt. I will go ahead and have someone evaluate him and then I will take it from there. I will also work on changing his diet. He does not have a problem with behavior. He is not hyperactive. He's a very sweet little boy. A gentleman already at his age. He will carry by shopping bags, open the car door for me, picks flowers for me and so on. So sweet. But he just keeps fighting to focus and staying on task. He struggles. So as a mother, I will do the right thing here which is to start with an evaluation. And I do believe that there are a lot of non-medical treatments, that I am hoping the doctor can discuss with me. I am not a doctor by any means, but the right thing to do is to deal with the problem and eliminate it, not just treat it for whatever period of time. I am asthmatic and have been hooked on the puff from since a little girl. That's just a quick fix. I just need to deal with my son's problem if it turns out he has one. As one of you said, I'll just keep praying and hope for the best. Thanks so much again and I will keep reading what you all have to say.
I think it's very important to get your son assessed and diagnosed (if he does have ADHD). If he is experiencing difficulties in school, the ADHD diagnosis will allow him to receive special services. My daughter really struggles in math. With the ADHD dx, the school was able to give us an IEP and provide her with special help in math.
It will not hurt anything (except maybe your wallet) to get him assessed. You might learn something in the process and, if it's not ADHD, there may be other learning disabilities that will be brought to the surface. Some kids just don't get math (dyscalculia, for example) and some kids have trouble reading (dyslexia, for example).
You are the only advocate for your child. You have to do what you have to do to see he gets the most out of his education.
And this is very important for everyone to understand: ADHD has two types - primarily inattentive and primarily hyperactive. My daughter is the former. (but it is possible to have both types) She is very well-behaved, she doesn't act out, or interrupt the teacher. She daydreams, she can't focus, she's flighty and forgetful. I think it's important to understand that not all kids with ADHD are running amuck like feral wildchildren.
Last edited by marathonali; 05-02-2008 at 09:24 AM..
Reason: correcting typos!
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