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Old 05-29-2008, 10:44 AM
 
Location: the very edge of the continent
89,029 posts, read 44,840,107 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by austinsmom View Post
Many have thought about it.
They haven't expressed thoughts about the other students other than to condemn them for stating what they didn't like about the child because his behavior had negatively impacted the class.

Advocating suppression of feelings of victimization, or teaching children to just sit back, shut up, and take it without protesting an unsafe/ineffective environment is just as unhealthy as what was done to the boy.

Quote:
How many will use the situation to learn NOT to pick on those who are different?
The boy wasn't 'picked on' because he was 'different.' The other students verbalized what they didn't like about the boy because he had repeatedly caused problems in the classroom.

Quote:
The whole class will be affected long after the media stops talking about it.
This may not be a well-received concept, but some of them will be empowered by learning that they don't have to shut up and suffer an adverse environment in silence because some people's rights have been elevated over others.
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,779,853 times
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I think voting the child out was the worst thing possible to do. I know a lot of "voting" goes on in schools these days, and even going back to 1989 when my oldest started kindergarten. I have no problem with kids voting on what color napkins to use at a class party, etc. I have a HUGE problem with kids voting someone else out of the classroom. What is this, "Survivor Kindergarten"? If the teacher was having a problem with the child, that should have been handled by the adults. It is possible the best thing for everyone was to get the child out of the classroom, but that was not the way to handle it.
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:04 AM
 
78,432 posts, read 60,613,724 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vter4ever View Post
I completely agree with what you said. Not only was the kid treated poorly but the kids in the class were taught a horrible lesson. A lesson which some will carry with them for most of their lives, a lesson that teaches them to judge, discriminate and separate themselves from those who are not understood. We have so many issues of race, gender and class in this country because we are teaching our kids that its OKAY to judge and ultimately fear "differences". We have these forums discussing whats wrong with out educational system, well whats wrong with our moral system!? We need to act like adults and demonstrate to our kids the responsible way to live their lives. We wonder why we continue in this vicious cycle of hate, people are too ignorant and selfish to teach the younger generations not to fear things not understood or discriminate against someone who chooses to live a different life. Instead we continue blaming, all the while failing to look in the mirror.
Hmm....careful, you are getting near a really interesting slope there. I find it curious that you quite judgemental about these people and thier views and that their views are wrong. Some people deserve to be judged (not a 5 year old though) and I've met people I sure wouldn't let stay in my house due to their habits, personality etc. I also have people I've met that don't really like me or vice-versa, certain personality types sometimes just don't mesh.

Seems like you have had some bad run-ins with bigots etc. which is too bad. (Un)fortunately, even idiots have a right to an opinion. Have a good day.
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Dallas, NC
1,703 posts, read 3,871,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InformedConsent View Post
They haven't expressed thoughts about the other students other than to condemn them for stating what they didn't like about the child because his behavior had negatively impacted the class.

Advocating suppression of feelings of victimization, or teaching children to just sit back, shut up, and take it without protesting an unsafe/ineffective environment is just as unhealthy as what was done to the boy.



The boy wasn't 'picked on' because he was 'different.' The other students verbalized what they didn't like about the boy because he had repeatedly caused problems in the classroom.



This may not be a well-received concept, but some of them will be empowered by learning that they don't have to shut up and suffer an adverse environment in silence because some people's rights have been elevated over others.
If you read up further on the situation, you will find that he was picked on b/c he was different and made statements frequently about being different. And 5 year olds should not be taught that it's ok to just tell someone what as Alex heard it they "hate" about someone! Children need to be taught tolerance and understanding before they are "empowered" to not sit back and shut up. At 5, they don't even understand what that means. Adults who come in contact with these little ones need to teach them that while some may be different from you, that does not in any way give you the right to demean (which is what these children did to him at the urging of their teacher) or bully another. Period. My child knows that everyone is different and that we sometimes have to make concessions for them b/c they don't do things as quickly or as well as others and if he is in a position to help, he should. When did people become so heartless and cruel that they can accept that the treatment this child received is what he deserved b/c their children are "normal". I hope and pray my child follows my lead and grows up to be compassionate and fair in lieu of being one of the ones who wants to segregate all those who are not up to snuff.
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Moon Over Palmettos
5,979 posts, read 19,900,242 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by austinsmom View Post
If you read up further on the situation, you will find that he was picked on b/c he was different and made statements frequently about being different. And 5 year olds should not be taught that it's ok to just tell someone what as Alex heard it they "hate" about someone! Children need to be taught tolerance and understanding before they are "empowered" to not sit back and shut up. At 5, they don't even understand what that means. Adults who come in contact with these little ones need to teach them that while some may be different from you, that does not in any way give you the right to demean (which is what these children did to him at the urging of their teacher) or bully another.
Seems like the teacher should have called on the parents of all the other 5-year olds in the class who are bullying and taunting Alex long before this incident. I mean c'mon...they did not learn their bullying attitude in that classroom alone. Should Alex's Mom have stepped in and had individual conversations with the little bullies' parents? I'm sure Alex would have mentioned names of classmates who are mean to him. Why is the discipline issue just the teachers' problem alone? Did she consult with the principal and was she advised to do this? While it did not help that the teacher facilitated the jury-executioner mentality in those kids, their upbringing leaves something to be desired. Also, let's not forget the two who voted NOT to vote him out...what's different about those two? Did they have the type of parents that fostered a sense of tolerance and acceptance in their kids?
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
161 posts, read 384,449 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
Hmm....careful, you are getting near a really interesting slope there. I find it curious that you quite judgemental about these people and thier views and that their views are wrong. Some people deserve to be judged (not a 5 year old though) and I've met people I sure wouldn't let stay in my house due to their habits, personality etc. I also have people I've met that don't really like me or vice-versa, certain personality types sometimes just don't mesh.

Seems like you have had some bad run-ins with bigots etc. which is too bad. (Un)fortunately, even idiots have a right to an opinion. Have a good day.
I completely agree and I don't consider myself not judgmental, everyone has and will continue to judge people. Judging is not in itself all bad, it's a useful tool and can keep you and your family safe. However, judging can also be used as a defensive mechanism and can harm a lot of people. Labeling is rampant in our society (especially in schools) and that leads to people projecting judgment on a person based on one known characteristic. As a victim of being "labeled" in middle school, I was the subject of numerous stereotypes and picked on to a dangerous level. With the aid of teachers, the students were able to single handedly deprive me of valuable years. By allowing our kids to judge and tease other kids, we are not only ruining a life for one kid but encouraging the other kids to continue the vicious cycle. These attitudes encourage school violence as we have all seen in the recent years. Part of growing up, with the help of educators and parents, kids will learn that judgments can be necessary but can also be dangerous.

Also I had posted a few times earlier, stating that I both understood but didn't agree with the teacher/school or parent. I just felt other measures should have been taken to prevent this situation.
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Old 05-29-2008, 12:04 PM
 
3,086 posts, read 7,616,167 times
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Again I don't support what the teacher did, but can understand what she did and here's why.....

In the private Kindergarten we had in our child care center, the owner taught the class in the mornings and I taught it in the afternoons. We had this one particular boy who began to exhibit behavioral issues at age 4 before entering our Kindgarten class. They seemed to escalated without explanation. He knocked over entire shelves, sometimes hitting other children with it and it's contents. He kicked chairs across the room. He screamed at anyone he deemed was doing him wrong. He spit on people. He slapped the owner in the face.

The owner had been in public school education for 8 years prior to opening the child care center and had her Master's Degree as well. She had been in the child care field at that point for about 13 years and had 3 kids of her own. Nothing she had in her experience, education or training, nor anything in my lesser capacity of those things, worked for helping this child.

We got numerous complaints from other parents about his behavior. The other kids were cowering in fear often when they saw him start to 'blow' for lack of a better word. So, we did indeed got the children to speak up to him about what he did that they did not like in hopes of helping him realize how his actions affected others. This was done after he calmed down and the affected child could tell him in a non confrontational way and not in front of the whole class.

While he seemed to have a complete understanding after the fact and would seem to feel very badly about what he had done, it never prevented it from happening again.

After he slapped the owner a second time, she told his mother he was no longer welcome as we simply could not offer him the resources he obviously needed. That was the first and only time she ever ever kicked someone out in the 17 years she owned the center.

The mom had been very cooperative and involved in the situation the whole time, however when it became apparent he needed professional help, she got angry at us instead and reacted as if we had done completely wrong by him, when actually we had bent over backwards and exhausted all our available resources to help this boy.

Footnote to the story-the boy was eventually diagnosed as bi-polar after he was required to attend anger management classes by the school district and still was suspended from the public school.....3 years later.

I am aware that bi-polar is quite different than Asperger's, however the behavior and inability to control it is often very similar in the beginning stages of diagnosis. Also, it's very similar to many ADHD children as well. Until you know what you can do to help and have the resources to do so, you are floundering for ideas.

This teacher just came up with a very bad one that made it to the media.....
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Old 05-29-2008, 12:20 PM
 
Location: the very edge of the continent
89,029 posts, read 44,840,107 times
Reputation: 13715
Quote:
Originally Posted by austinsmom View Post
If you read up further on the situation, you will find that he was picked on b/c he was different and made statements frequently about being different. And 5 year olds should not be taught that it's ok to just tell someone what as Alex heard it they "hate" about someone! Children need to be taught tolerance and understanding before they are "empowered" to not sit back and shut up.
I have done further reading on this situation. This boy had a history of behavior problems in the class. How long should the other students, those without any legal rights or protection whatsoever, be forced to tolerate an unsafe, adverse learning environment?

Quote:
At 5, they don't even understand what that means. Adults who come in contact with these little ones need to teach them that while some may be different from you, that does not in any way give you the right to demean (which is what these children did to him at the urging of their teacher) or bully another. Period.
Again, this boy was not 'demeaned' because he was 'different.' The other students expressed dislike because he had repeatedly caused an adverse environment in the classroom.

Quote:
My child knows that everyone is different and that we sometimes have to make concessions for them b/c they don't do things as quickly or as well as others and if he is in a position to help, he should. When did people become so heartless and cruel that they can accept that the treatment this child received is what he deserved b/c their children are "normal".
No one said that what happened was right. My position is that all of the students have suffered in this. The other students were victimized by being forced to suffer an adverse environment over time created by the actions of this boy, and the boy was confronted in an inappropriate manner in a one-time event.

Turning this situation into an adversarial issue of the 'normal' students bullying another student because he's 'different' is way out of line. That's not what happened at all.

Quote:
I hope and pray my child follows my lead and grows up to be compassionate and fair in lieu of being one of the ones who wants to segregate all those who are not up to snuff.
Again, this happened in response to an adverse environment the boy's actions had created in the classroom. This did not happen because others sought to segregate him just because they thought he was 'not up to snuff.' I find it offensive that you would frame it as such.
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Old 05-29-2008, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,779,853 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by bibit612 View Post
Seems like the teacher should have called on the parents of all the other 5-year olds in the class who are bullying and taunting Alex long before this incident. I mean c'mon...they did not learn their bullying attitude in that classroom alone. Should Alex's Mom have stepped in and had individual conversations with the little bullies' parents? I'm sure Alex would have mentioned names of classmates who are mean to him. Why is the discipline issue just the teachers' problem alone? Did she consult with the principal and was she advised to do this? While it did not help that the teacher facilitated the jury-executioner mentality in those kids, their upbringing leaves something to be desired. Also, let's not forget the two who voted NOT to vote him out...what's different about those two? Did they have the type of parents that fostered a sense of tolerance and acceptance in their kids?
I wouldn't be so sure of that. Sometimes kids will not open up about bad things like that. My kids have told me things years later that I would have been horrified about at the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by InformedConsent View Post
I have done further reading on this situation. This boy had a history of behavior problems in the class. How long should the other students, those without any legal rights or protection whatsoever, be forced to tolerate an unsafe, adverse learning environment?
I agree completely that the other students should not be neglected in any way b/c of this kid. My b**** was with the voting. 5 yr old kids should not be placed in a situation like this. These kids do not have the maturity required for a "confrontation", which it seems like was done. Adults should have handled this situation themselves.
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Old 05-29-2008, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Earth
539 posts, read 2,103,124 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InformedConsent View Post
Advocating suppression of feelings of victimization, or teaching children to just sit back, shut up, and take it without protesting an unsafe/ineffective environment is just as unhealthy as what was done to the boy.
These children are 5 years old! Suppression of feelings of victimization? When was there any mention of this child making anyone feel victimized? Where did you read that the environment had become "unsafe"? I don't feel comfortable with 5 year olds "protesting" anything. I can just hear it now, "Johnny has to leave class because he keeps picking his nose", "Mary has to leave class because she doesn't cover he mouth when she sneezes", "Tommy has to leave class because he keeps crossing his eyes". Come on! These children are 5, they had no business "voting" another student/peer out of the classroom.

[/quote]The boy wasn't 'picked on' because he was 'different.' The other students verbalized what they didn't like about the boy because he had repeatedly caused problems in the classroom. [/quote]

How do you know what the other children "verbalized"? Were you there? I wouldn't be surprised if these children, who are only five, did comment on the fact that they wanted him about because of his "different" tendencies. As I have mentioned before I have worked with children in a special education classroom. I know that they can behave differently and are an easy target for being picked on. They can also be EXTREMELY sensitive children. I can only imagine what hearing what these children had to say, has done to this child. We are talking possible long term damage. As it stand, the mother has stated that this child has taken to repeatedly saying "I am not special" over and over since the incident.

[/quote]This may not be a well-received concept, but some of them will be empowered by learning that they don't have to shut up and suffer an adverse environment in silence because some people's rights have been elevated over others.[/quote]

This entire statement is ludicrous, the children are five years old!

In case you have noticed, I feel quite passionately about what has happened to this child. I also feel that the punishment this teacher receives had better be severe.
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