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At my school, all of us teachers LOVE our volunteer parents: in the classroom helping out; in the copy room; on field trips; taking materials home to do; in the PTA office; wherever!!
I am thrilled when I can count on the same parents for all the field trips. There can hardly ever be too many parents on field trips!
I am forever grateful for my parental volunteers and "brown nosing" posturing has never, ever had to cross my mind. After 20 years of teaching, I would say that it is a very rare occurrence. And on that rare occasion when it might occur, what teacher worth his or her salt would put any weight upon it?
Our teachers are the same way. The DD's teachers don't even hesitate to accept help, and tell us to come in anytime we want. They have a very open door policy. I have volunteered in the past more so than now because as the kids get older, I want them to take more onus for their educational experience; however, they all have my email, and they all know that I will help when I can.
Last edited by cebdark; 11-05-2009 at 06:37 AM..
Reason: Doh! DD not DH...DH graduated...argghhhh
There is a big difference between proverbial "helicopter" parents, "brown nosing" (what IS the etiology of that strange, inappropriate-sounding term? ) parents, and volunteer parents. However, parents could conceivably be a combination of all three.
Of course, I've experienced "helicopter" parents: parents who will run home to get a child's homework or library book. Once we had a parent who drove to the to-go window to get chicken nuggets when her child called to say the lunchroom had run out of chicken bits and she didn't like the other choices! Thus, we would say we needed a helicopter pad out back.
Volunteer parents are the backbone of our school. They do so much for us all and are a blessing.
Love your post. These helicopter parents are so far over the top it's laughable. I wonder when they'll ever cut the cord, let their kids be responsible, learn that their actions have consequences, and let their kids be punished for their misdeeds.
I teach college every now and again, and I can tell you the answer is "never" I've had parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts etc emailing me asking why their child/nephew/grandchild has such low grades. The words "we'll sue" have come up before.
Along similar lines a friend of mine who recently took a job at a PR company straight of out college (she's a little older at 26), recently received a letter addressed to Mr and Mrs (my friend's last name). My friend's parents told her to open the letter and read it to them over the phone - it was a thank you letter telling her parents thanks for raising such a great child! My friend moved out a 17 and she and her parents have a bad history. It was really, really awkard. Why is the company dealing with a 26-year-old's parents?
I teach college every now and again, and I can tell you the answer is "never" I've had parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts etc emailing me asking why their child/nephew/grandchild has such low grades. The words "we'll sue" have come up before.
I've had that with parents of college students too. I love FERPA just so I can tell them to shove it. (well, not in so many words....)
I've had that with parents of college students too. I love FERPA just so I can tell them to shove it. (well, not in so many words....)
God bless FERPA!
I still get students' relatives turning up at my office saying "I hear you accused Johnny of plagiarism, I am here to tell you that I will sue for defamation blah blah blah..." I usually just nod and listen, then I smile and say "have a good day" and gently close my door. What happens between me and Johnny academically is none of their business. However, some in our department say we can talk to parents and it really angers me...argh! I hate being forced to do it. For the record the kids are usually hugely embarrassed by these parents and sit there wishing it wasn't happening...because they know that next I'm going to say "well, Johnny hasn't been in class for 3 weeks." Then the argument is pretty much over. Some parents still really hate me though, that much is clear.
I still get students' relatives turning up at my office saying "I hear you accused Johnny of plagiarism, I am here to tell you that I will sue for defamation blah blah blah..." I usually just nod and listen, then I smile and say "have a good day" and gently close my door. What happens between me and Johnny academically is none of their business. However, some in our department say we can talk to parents and it really angers me...argh! I hate being forced to do it. For the record the kids are usually hugely embarrassed by these parents and sit there wishing it wasn't happening...because they know that next I'm going to say "well, Johnny hasn't been in class for 3 weeks." Then the argument is pretty much over. Some parents still really hate me though, that much is clear.
Please don't let others in your department force you into violating FERPA! It will be your butt on the line, not theirs.
When a student shows up with parents, I first tell the student that I am not supposed to discuss their school business in front of anyone else, including parents, and ask them to sign a waiver to that right if they insist on having their parents there. I am not sure that would hold up in court, but it the message is loud and clear. No one has ever questioned it other than the occasional parent of a young (17 years old) freshmen. Sometimes the parents leave, other times they stay. When a parent asks me a question, I give a questioning look at the student to see if s/he is comfortable with me giving an answer. If so, then I answer and try my best to keep the student in the conversation. I rarely have the same set of parents repeat a visit to me, though I have had a few students come back later and thank me for standing up for their rights as a student.
Please don't let others in your department force you into violating FERPA! It will be your butt on the line, not theirs.
When a student shows up with parents, I first tell the student that I am not supposed to discuss their school business in front of anyone else, including parents, and ask them to sign a waiver to that right if they insist on having their parents there. I am not sure that would hold up in court, but it the message is loud and clear. No one has ever questioned it other than the occasional parent of a young (17 years old) freshmen. Sometimes the parents leave, other times they stay. When a parent asks me a question, I give a questioning look at the student to see if s/he is comfortable with me giving an answer. If so, then I answer and try my best to keep the student in the conversation. I rarely have the same set of parents repeat a visit to me, though I have had a few students come back later and thank me for standing up for their rights as a student.
Thanks for the advice!
I feel sorry for students whose parents just won't leave them alone to find their own way. I teach at a college which has a lot of students who commute from home because they can't afford to leave home and stay in the dorms, or if they can, they're discouraged from doing so. The students often can't voice their own opinions because they're not even sure what those are. My upperclassmen seem to rarely have this problem though, so maybe it gets better with time.
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I've had parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts etc emailing me asking why their child/nephew/grandchild has such low grades. The words "we'll sue" have come up before.
