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I just heard that sitting indian style is now called "criss cross applesauce style"
I don't understand how this is feminine. Whether it is criss cross applesauce or indian style.. how is it for girls? If anything criss cross applesauce is geared towards boys (since girls wearing skirts can't sit cross legged).
ADD diagnosis are up because parents want perfect children and something to blame when their child isn't perfect. I call this "not my fault" syndrome. If my child can't sit still, it can't POSSIBLY be a control issue of the child or that the parents didn't teach him better. It MUST be a medical condition that the school MUST accomodate.
Where do you think the parent gets this idea from in the first place? Ironically, it is often the child's teacher who is the first to point out to the parent that their child may be ADD.
Where do you think the parent gets this idea from in the first place? Ironically, it is often the child's teacher who is the first to point out to the parent that their child may be ADD.
I work in a pediatric office, and many of our parents surf the web and then try to convince the dr the child has ADD
Where do you think the parent gets this idea from in the first place? Ironically, it is often the child's teacher who is the first to point out to the parent that their child may be ADD.
Not the case with most kids I know. I see moms looking for some diagnosis around the time the child is 3 or 4 or wanting an excuse for behavior issues in school. I see parents who don't want to think that either they or their children are responsible for the behavior issues.
Teachers, here, are not allowed to express concerns like this. I can't tell a parent I think their child has any medical issue. I'm not a doctor. I can tell a parent their child has behavior issues. What the parents do with that information is their business.
Not the case with most kids I know. I see moms looking for some diagnosis around the time the child is 3 or 4 or wanting an excuse for behavior issues in school. I see parents who don't want to think that either they or their children are responsible for the behavior issues.
Teachers, here, are not allowed to express concerns like this. I can't tell a parent I think their child has any medical issue. I'm not a doctor. I can tell a parent their child has behavior issues. What the parents do with that information is their business.
Again, ironically, 3 or 4 is right around the time a child starts some type of schooling. Learning to sit quietly during circle time, work quietly, listen quietly are stressed during preschool in order to prepare the child for Kindergarten, where, again ironically, children are expected to sit quietly, work quietly and listen quietly, something many children are just not ready for developmentally until they are much older, sometimes as late as 2nd or 3rd grade.
Teachers here are also not allowed to suggest that a child has a particular medical issue, however if worded properly the implication the teacher is trying to make is evident to all but the totally clueless.
Also, most parents want to do what is best for their child. If the teacher is suggesting there may be a problem outside the child's control, whether stated explicitly or not, is it not natural for the parent to seek out a cause?
Just as you feel many parents are taking the easy way out regarding their child's behavior by not blaming themselves, aren't you also taking the easy way out by blaming the parent, or even worse, the child? Isn't it just as possible that the child's needs aren't being met at school which is contributing to a behavior problem?
I admit it, my children were not the best behaved in the younger grades. My oldest is gifted. He was bored out of his mind in school and had not yet developed the ability to exhibit self control. Can you imagine having to sit, say at the DMV office all day every day? How long do you think you could stand it? Now imagine being a 7 year who is basically being asked to sit around all day being bored? Once my son was mature enough and had more self control, he was better able to channel his energies properly and he was LOVED by his teachers.
My dd's 1st grade teacher suggested, in so many words, that she was ADD. After investigating I came to realize my dd was having difficulties with reading, somehow unbeknownst to the teacher! I spent the rest of the year and all of the summer "teaching" my dd to read and I have gotten nothing but glowing reports from her teachers since. She is now in 5th grade.
I guess the point of all this is that nothing is black and white. Blaming the parent or blaming the teacher or blaming the child rarely solves the problem. Parents and teacher need to listen, REALLY listen to each other and respect the other's opinion and try to come up with a solution together for the benefit of the child.
And RESPECT really is the operative word here. Many parents do not have respect for teachers' opinions, but also many teachers do not have respect for parents. Without respect for each other and each other's opinions, communication will break down, and ultimately lead to each blaming the other. Neither of which is good for the child.
I will get off my soapbox now as I realize the post may be derailing this thread a bit.
Again, ironically, 3 or 4 is right around the time a child starts some type of schooling. Learning to sit quietly during circle time, work quietly, listen quietly are stressed during preschool in order to prepare the child for Kindergarten, where, again ironically, children are expected to sit quietly, work quietly and listen quietly, something many children are just not ready for developmentally until they are much older, sometimes as late as 2nd or 3rd grade.
Teachers here are also not allowed to suggest that a child has a particular medical issue, however if worded properly the implication the teacher is trying to make is evident to all but the totally clueless.
Also, most parents want to do what is best for their child. If the teacher is suggesting there may be a problem outside the child's control, whether stated explicitly or not, is it not natural for the parent to seek out a cause?
Just as you feel many parents are taking the easy way out regarding their child's behavior by not blaming themselves, aren't you also taking the easy way out by blaming the parent, or even worse, the child? Isn't it just as possible that the child's needs aren't being met at school which is contributing to a behavior problem?
I admit it, my children were not the best behaved in the younger grades. My oldest is gifted. He was bored out of his mind in school and had not yet developed the ability to exhibit self control. Can you imagine having to sit, say at the DMV office all day every day? How long do you think you could stand it? Now imagine being a 7 year who is basically being asked to sit around all day being bored? Once my son was mature enough and had more self control, he was better able to channel his energies properly and he was LOVED by his teachers.
My dd's 1st grade teacher suggested, in so many words, that she was ADD. After investigating I came to realize my dd was having difficulties with reading, somehow unbeknownst to the teacher! I spent the rest of the year and all of the summer "teaching" my dd to read and I have gotten nothing but glowing reports from her teachers since. She is now in 5th grade.
I guess the point of all this is that nothing is black and white. Blaming the parent or blaming the teacher or blaming the child rarely solves the problem. Parents and teacher need to listen, REALLY listen to each other and respect the other's opinion and try to come up with a solution together for the benefit of the child.
And RESPECT really is the operative word here. Many parents do not have respect for teachers' opinions, but also many teachers do not have respect for parents. Without respect for each other and each other's opinions, communication will break down, and ultimately lead to each blaming the other. Neither of which is good for the child.
I will get off my soapbox now as I realize the post may be derailing this thread a bit.
Teachers cannot diagnose, prescribe meds or even ask that they be prescribed. Parents are the only ones who can ask. What a parent does when a teacher tells them their child has a behavior issue is up to the parents. Since teachers cannot make the doctor's appointment or even ask the doctor for an evaluation, it can't be the teacher's fault the child is diagnoses as ADD.
As I said, parents want perfect children. If their child isn't behaving, they want there to be a reason. They want an excuse. Too many find it in diagnoses like ADD. Couldn't be that mom didn't teach Johnny how to sit still could it? Johnny MUST have an issue that is out of his control. Couldn't be mommy's perfect angel's fault.
Sorry, but teacher's don't make the appointments with doctors. They don't even talk to the doctors. If a teacher tells mom Johnny can't sit still and mom goes running in for Ritalin, whose fault is it? All teachers do is alert parents when their child isn't cooperating. What the parents do with that information is up to the parents.
And the moms I see running for ADD diagnoses aren't moms sending their kids to school at 3. They're moms who can't figure out how to deal with the problem they created in over indulging their kids. The kids in preschool seem to be the ones who already know how to behave. At least it seemed that way when my dd was in preschool.
Teachers cannot request a child be placed on medications. Yes, they can word things so that parents get the idea there may be a problem but it's up to the parents to decide if there really is not the teacher. Doctors, unfortunately, seem to be siding with the parents and prescribing meds in record numbers. It's because PARENTS (you know the ones who actually talk to the doctors ) insist Johnny needs a pill to fix him that this happens.
I have a step son who was put on Ritalin because a teacher suggested he was ADD, but it wasn't the teacher who had him put on the meds. It was his father. The doctor did it because dad insisted. Dad didn't want to deal with the issues and the pill was a quick fix. He was taken off of meds after we got married. Having grown up with an ADD brother, I knew looking at him he wasn't and took him to our family physician who confirmed that he was not ADD. Whose fault is it he was on meds? The teacher for suggesing there might be a problem or dad for insisting the doctor treat him? I say it's dad. Just because a child doesn't behave in school doesn't mean he's ADD. It's up to parents to make sure the right call is made. Teachers have no power here.
It is the parent who goes into the doctors office and demands treatment not the teacher. If a parent is putting their child on meds because a teacher worded something so that it sounded like there might be a problem, shame on that parent.
And sometimes some kids who have an ADHD diagnosis by a developmental/behavioral pediatrician actually do have ADHD. Shocking.
The pill is not a cure-all. The strict discipline and behavior plan still has to be enforced. The difference is that the child actually responds to the discipline when medical management is incorporated into the plan.
You know what? Sometimes its the doctors that insist medication is the missing piece in the behavior modification program, not the parents. Sometimes its the schools that say "if your child does not have a diagnosis, we cannot do any sort of accommodation (eg preferential seating, behavior intervention plan)".
And sometimes some kids who have an ADHD diagnosis by a developmental/behavioral pediatrician actually do have ADHD. Shocking.
And I can say the pill is not a cure-all. The strict discipline and behavior plan still has to be enforced. The difference is that the child actually responds to the discipline when medical management is incorporated into the plan.
*shrug* Just my experience.
" A" to the "men." I wish the issue were just lack of parenting ability and my failure to teach my son to sit still. And if only I did so, then he wouldn't have ADHD or PDD-NOS symptoms and wish he could act better and wonder he can't do anything right.
I would say that the criss cross applesause is more geared toward not offending Indians. My sons Kindergarten class does the Criss Cross Applesause thing. I just thought it was this one teacher, who my wife and I love as well as our son.
Today we are not supposed to offend anyone. That is what the schools teach the kids now it seems.
You know what? Sometimes its the doctors that insist medication is the missing piece in the behavior modification program, not the parents. Sometimes its the schools that say "if your child does not have a diagnosis, we cannot do any sort of accommodation (eg preferential seating, behavior intervention plan)".
And sometimes some kids who have an ADHD diagnosis by a developmental/behavioral pediatrician actually do have ADHD. Shocking.
And I can say the pill is not a cure-all. The strict discipline and behavior plan still has to be enforced. The difference is that the child actually responds to the discipline when medical management is incorporated into the plan.
*shrug* Just my experience."
And parents can say no. Mine did. They chose to teach my brother to deal with his condition. That really helped him out in life. I have no doubt he would not be the person he is today if they'd put him on meds. (His ADHD is very severe. To the point he couldn't hold a pencil correctly.)
So parents fake a diagnosis to get prefferential treatment? That's just plain wrong. If the child doesn't have an issue, they don't need accomodations. Lying to get accomodations isn't right. Putting a child on medications they don't need in order to get accomodations ought to get your kids taken away from you.
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