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We have a daughter whose in her senior year of high school and has no clue what she wants to do? The school career guidance has not been of any help...We've asked her what she enjoys doing for example hobbies that may give her atleast an inkling...All we get is a blank stare and I don't have a hobby or know what I like...What do we do????
If she's going to college, then I agree: just leave it alone and let her sort it out. She can get the basics out of the way, explore different options, and, with luck, discover some hidden passion.
If she's not going to college, suggest she start thinking about what sorts of jobs she can apply for with only a high school degree plus whatever work experience she has already. The reality might be that she doesn't get to do what she "wants" to do; she'll get stuck doing whatever job she can find that will pay the bills.
In either case, I wouldn't pressure her about finding the right fit, but if she's not planning on going to college you should make clear that she'll be expected to become an adult and get a job, not just enjoy a permanent vacation from the responsibilities of adult life.
After a couple of years in either college or at work she'll probably have a better sense of what's out there, job-wise, in the "real" world. If she's lucky she'll find a career that she loves. Not everyone loves their job, of course, but with some luck she'll at least find something that she's good at and can tolerate. She doesn't need to identify that while still in high school, though.
You let her graduate and get a full-time job until she figures out what she wants to do. I am speaking from 1st hand experience. I graduated from high school and went directly to college without any direction. My head was spinning. I ended up quitting college and getting a full-time job and over a year's time I decided that I did actually want to go to college and went. Senior year is CRAZY in high school if you have no idea what you want to do. Everyone else is busy going insane with their college applications and it's so intimidating and downright scary. That's what I recommend.
I agree - even if she can't find a full time job, she should be able to work somewhere (preferably minimum wage to emphasize the importance of an education from a financial perspective LOL)
Also, she may want to consider doing some volunteer work in places like hospitals or schools etc...there she can either job shadow, or simply observe and try to then find something that she can grab onto.
Sometimes a little observation can go a long way toward finding out where one's niche is.
We have a daughter whose in her senior year of high school and has no clue what she wants to do? The school career guidance has not been of any help...We've asked her what she enjoys doing for example hobbies that may give her atleast an inkling...All we get is a blank stare and I don't have a hobby or know what I like...What do we do????
I'm 30 and I still don't know what I want to do.
1. Once she graduates high school make her get a job and pay rent. Do not pressure her to go to college. I know a lot of kids who went merely because it is what you are "supposed to do" and they partied, flunked out, and now owe $20,000. If your daughter is going to be a loser at least have her be a debt-free loser.
2. If she wants to go to school, but is still a little wishy-washy about what she wants to do then steer her toward an accredited community college. She can get her general study/bull**** classes out of the way and then transfer to a 4-year university. The tuition at community colleges is about 1/8 the price of a normal university.
3. If she does want to go to college at some point then urge her towards a degree that will actually get her a job. There are many English Lit. and Psychology grads who are bussing tables because they are no jobs for them. There is no point is racking up tons of debt and spending years of your life in school if it does not get you a job.
4. Don't discount the military or the trades. Everybody I know who took those routes and was serious about it is doing very well.
You are quick to criticize, but I don't see you imparting any advice.
Right you are.
I have more questions than answers, I suppose.
Is she a good student or a poor student? Does she do well in school or poorly in school? (Those two questions are very different.)
Does she seem to have a preferred learning method - is she hands on or experiential, does she deal well with making mistakes? Does she like to read? Does she seem to have a rich imagination? Does she prefer to be told what to do or does she resist that? Does she have a lot of friends or is she pretty much a loner? If she has friends, what (if anything) are their plans for the future? If they have plans, is she feeling isolated and 'weird?"
What is the longest she has spent away from home, previously?
Does she have concerns about the future, in addition to being directionless?
Are there things she used to talk about wanting to do "when she grows up?" If so, how recently did those stop?
Well, it sure doesn't seem as if you know what your daughter should do either. Does your daughter have a plan to support herself past high school? I have several friends who have cosigned for student loans for kids who didn't know what they wanted to do with their life. Then the kids don't really want to do that, and the parents are stuck. Protect yourself.
My advice is that you wait for your daughter to find her passion and then support it. Nothing is more inspiring than fear, so if your daughter thinks she can just flounder indefinately, then you're not doing her any favors.
Last edited by gentlearts; 12-14-2009 at 05:12 PM..
1. Once she graduates high school make her get a job and pay rent. Do not pressure her to go to college. I know a lot of kids who went merely because it is what you are "supposed to do" and they partied, flunked out, and now owe $20,000. If your daughter is going to be a loser at least have her be a debt-free loser.
2. If she wants to go to school, but is still a little wishy-washy about what she wants to do then steer her toward an accredited community college. She can get her general study/bull**** classes out of the way and then transfer to a 4-year university. The tuition at community colleges is about 1/8 the price of a normal university.
3. If she does want to go to college at some point then urge her towards a degree that will actually get her a job. There are many English Lit. and Psychology grads who are bussing tables because they are no jobs for them. There is no point is racking up tons of debt and spending years of your life in school if it does not get you a job.
4. Don't discount the military or the trades. Everybody I know who took those routes and was serious about it is doing very well.
That's my advice.
ok, this is where I disagree. One of the goals we want for our children is to teach them how to save for things but when they graduate high school we expect them to go tens of thousands of dollars into debt...or pay rent if they are staying home. If this were my daughter, if she had a job, she would not pay rent as long as, and only as long as, she is saving money and trying to figure out what she were doing. Even she was working two jobs making $20,000 per year, she could save up to pay in full for college in five years plus the money to buy a vehicle, choose a good college, develop themsleves emotionally and socially....mature, and have the means for the rent to get into a place. I would be more the pleased to see them save so much in fees and interests rates that it would be all worth it. College aside, if she wanted to do something else, like run her own business, she could save to start that.
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