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I have not seen a single Asian man (Chinese, Paki, etc) with local women, and I live in a "cosmopolitan" place. Asians tend to date Asians. Some women find Pakis to be attractive, but there's no social interaction and they keep their women locked at their homes.
When i was in Spain, i saw three AM/WSF couples. Two of the couples looked like models(Asian guys were tall(6'3"-6'4" ?) and skinny looking very metro) though while the third couple had typical, normal casual look. I also ran into a few tourists(AM/WF) too. One couple from the States and the other from Germany.
If you're interested in a Spanish woman, just go up and talk to her. I don't think it would be that difficult really. If you can speak Spanish, it would be much easier..
Hi,
I'm Eurasian from Belgium and I live actually in Canada.
I think you are wrong, asians have it hard in Europe too, my cousin is living in south of France and had to find his GF in Thailand.
I lived in Belgium all my life and had very few dates, Europeans in general are not used to Asians, I had no asian friends, only whites and browns, so I act more like a white.
At least here in Canada, I can get dates with asian girls, they are everywhere
But the less I could say is that they love asian girls (like in America I think).
I've been said the best dating place in the world for an eurasian is Singapore, I will go on vacations
I guess if a Black guy can post in the UK thread about interracial dating, then why not other races right.
I currently live in Mississippi and I am 75 percent Spaniard (other 25 percent is Punjabi due to my grandfather).
About 3 hours ago, I met with my Japanese friend who went to Europe the past few months with this Indian guy (Raj lookalike from Big Bang Theory). I asked him how he liked it, he just looked at me and said "aawwwwwsssssoooommmmeee!". I looked at him with a weird expression.
So we talked more and more and he told me how in the US he had it all hard and stuff in the dating world because when he told women he was Asian, they would get turned off. His Indian friend would have to lie to some women and try to tell them he was mixed or something to get anything like a one night and such going.
Well, the two stayed in France and Sweden and both are in relationships now. Quite shocking for being in an area for just a few months.
For a while I thought the craze in Europe was for Black men, Europeans, is it true that Asian men are desired in Europe by some women and a lot of women there have a fetish for them?
Sounds like your friend has never been to the entire West Coast of the US. It's not a big deal here, not shocking, and I'm sure he'd have no problems with dating. I'm also bi-racial (Asian/Irish) and never had any problems this side of the pond (but I'm also a woman) so maybe it's easier for us since we're so good looking
Indians and Pakis here are very Clannish, they do not hang with locals.
Chinese do not relate with locals, and they do not like to marry outside their group. For them marrying some guy from a different race is kind of revolting, in some cases they are shunned from their communities.
The only Chinese you will see surrounded by a Spanish family are adopted girls.
They are respected communities, hard workers and they don't mess things up.
But you have the Huns, that arrived to the gates of Rome and were defeated by the first "Paneuropean Army" (Romans and Franks) in modern day France.
The memory of Attila (Etzel in Germanic) is still alive, more so when Huns founded Hungavar or Hungria.
The memory of Huns and invaders from Asia is still alive among Germanics and Western Slavics. In fact, they invaded the Western Roman Empire not because they wanted a better future on sunny and civilized Europe, but because they were being "pushed" by Huns.
.
The Huns were still mainly an E European phenomenon, and it happened so long ago, no one remembers. Most people in Europe aren't even aware that Hungarians are descended from Asians. This is ancient history for most Europeans, and has no bearing at all on their interaction with contemporary Asians. It's something they learned in history class in school, nothing more.
Most people that marry outside their race in Europe do it because of necessity. Most are men in their 40's, 50's and 60's that want to marry a young woman, or young people that are "out of the market".
In Spain, France and Italy, they usually marry colored Latinas.
Not many people marry Asians, the language barrier and the fact that they are not considered attractive by most. Maybe Dutch, English or French do it.
If this is true (I have my doubts, and the OP contradicts this as well) it would mean Americans are less concerned with race than Europeans. The OP says her Asian friends who lived in American and Europe both, found European women to be much more accepting of Asians. I'm sure that in Europe there are 2nd and 3rd-generation Asians, raised in Europe, so there is no language barrier. Maybe your posts are expressing your own personal preferences, not those of European women.
As for East Asian men, America has done an excellent job in desexualizing or even emasculating them. They've very rarely been portrayed in a positively manly sexual light and the ever reenforced stereotypes follow similar patterns.
Asian features are generally deemed unmasculine in Anglo societies like America and Australia so that even a lot of Asian women and Asian gay men themselves find it hard to be attracted to Asian men sexually.
Europe in general is less affected by these tendencies which are quite prevalent in Anglo societies.
This is IMO a main reason why women and gay men in Europe encounter less barriers being attracted to Asian men.
A similar tendency is perceivable among those who grew up in Hawaii and to some extent the West Coast, although in this case the reason they're less affected by the stereotypes and the unmasculine associations is because there's much more exposure to Asian men in those regions.
Quote from my other posts:
Hawaii is unique among the States for having the highest percentage of Asians and lowest of Whites, so Asians are more or less "normalized" there.
In the rest of the States and in the Anglo media in general, Asians have been portrayed as exotic and as perpetual foreigners, and associated with characteristics that were deemed feminine in the Anglo society. In combination with White male being the representation of normalcy and power, it's no wonder that in the US [outside Hawaii] Asian females ended up pairing up with White males, while the opposite has been happening in a much lower scale.
Very similar pattern was also discernible within the gay community, with Asians being the passive or feminine ones.
we cannot undermine the influence of what we see & hear through the media around us.
AsianAmerican girls who grew up in the second half of the 20th century found it hard to find Asian males attractive. It wasn't unusual to hear Asian girls saying comments like "I don't date Asian guys", "Eww.. dating an Asian guy is like dating my own brother", etc. Something practically unheard of among Latinos and Blacks. In fact, Black females often proudly say that they're dating a brother.
As much as unPC the guy's comments in the video are, he was at least being honest and what he said there, like for example how Asian guys aren't seen as guys, reflected how Americans generally viewed Asian males.
It is not surprising considering the practical inexistence of Asian guys being portrayed as cool, sexy, hot, dateworthy or simply plain American.
American girls [and guys] flipping through the magazines, turning on the TV, being surrounded by countless ads; they barely saw any "dateable" Asian guys.
Interestingly, Asian girls have been around for quite a while in the media, being portrayed as very desirable, and when paired up with a cool guy, he was White in well over 90% and Latino and/or Black in 9% of the cases.
Just like what the guy says in the video "an Asian girl and an American guy, they do it all the time.".
Those growing up and living in Hawaii are also exposed to Anglo media current. Even Hawaii Five-O follows the pattern:
Asian guy not being someone you'd date, Asian girl and White guy flirting with each other, as always..
Yet unlike the mainlanders, Hawaiians know the reality in Hawaii, that there are more than enough Asian guys you definitely would date.
I remember a girl who liked Asian guys saying that it was actually good that Americans generally saw Asian males as less masculine and wouldn't date them because that meant less competition for her.
Btw, a quote about the movie:
"
Ah, Shakespere's timeless love story Romeo and Juliet, updated for the hip-hop generation. With their two families feuding, a black girl (Aaliyah) and a Chinese man (Jet Li) find an unexpected bond—except for the fact that the couple didn't even share a kiss on screen, making the "love story" a bit of an anti-climactic joke. In fact, the movie originally ended with a kiss, but producers supposedly cut the scene at the last minute because it didn't "test well" with audiences. Damn. Can't the yellow man get some?
===========================================
Which brought me to another point.
Masculinity in America is strongly associated with aggressiveness, rebelliousness, independence, individualism.
Many of the "bad boy" characteristics coincide with what people are suggested, often subconsciously, that "real men" have.
Asians generally have values that teach them to be obedient and respectful [thus not rebellious] to parents and authorities and to be not individualistic in the sense that the family and/or community is just as important as self.
Asian males' respect towards females has often been viewed as weakness and simply unmasculine.
Also in the dating scene in the media:
Men who are naughty, who manage to get some in whatever way, who kiss a girl without caring if she wants it or not.
They have been portrayed as masculine and sexy. Those are the ones girls (and guys) are taught to desire, even though they eventually cause most misery.
I'm aware of the generalizations there. Yet a lot of the stereotypes, which themselves are not negative until one decides they are, are often subconscious and they affect the way we view and treat others.
We see it everywhere [except in Hawaii perhaps ] and the stats even show it.
The Anglo media generally haven't allowed the portrayal of Asian men as main protagonist.
Even in the rare cases where an Asian man is a hero and even saved a protagonist girl's life, he does not get a kiss, whereas in similar scenarios with a White man the girl sometimes throws herself to him and let him "have her" to show her gratefulness.
In fact, it's very unusual when you don't note a certain sexual tension between the White man and the girl [not rarely Asian] before he gets to save her life.
Quote from chickenfriedbananas:
"
I haven't watched the video yet, but I agree with the above. I think that Asians in general are often regarded as immigrants, even the ones who are born here. They're probably more likely than others to be asked 'Can you speak English?'.
But I also agree with what you're saying particularly regarding Asian males. I think that a lot of Asian males grow up with a kind of conflict, with their families giving one model of 'maleness' and society around them offering another, entirely different model of what it means to be 'male'. In Asian households, being a man means doing well in school and taking steps to ensure that you get a great job after graduation. Being a hard worker. Being a team player first. Respecting authority. Understanding that the team and its goals are bigger than you. That kind of thing. It's what sets up Asian men to get a lot of good entry level jobs and become respected by employers in many instances.
However, in a lot of American society, this is not what is modeled as being male. Instead, much of American society seems to promote the idea of being macho, of being independent, of being rebellious and not taking orders. Being an independent, autonomous decision maker is valued. Being physically strong and having a bold and assertive personality is valued over being loyal and obedient to authority. That contrast makes it easy for others to perceive Asian men as weak.
As I said, though, I think people in the Asian-American communities are beginning to feel more confident in standing up for themselves. You see more and more consciousness being raised about this issue. I think that in time, things will change.
"
When I see a straight AsianAmerican female who is pretty and succesful, I still assume that she has a White husband or boyfriend.
In fact, I was curious about one today and did some research. I was suprised when I found out that she was married to an Asian man.
The article in the OP is surprising to most of us because WhiteMale-AsianFemale couples have been suggested as the norm in America you'd expect the trend would increase instead of halt or even reverse.
On the other hand, there has been an increasing visibility of AsianAmerican men lately, with people realizing that Asian guys can dance, sing, play ball, swagger, be cool, hot and sexy in a masculine way.
An interesting observation considering the practical desexualization or downright emasculation of Asian males in the past decades in the Anglo media.
You're right about Americans having a hard time perceiving AsianAmerican Males as men and/or American.
Again, taking the example of Jeremy Lin, Linsanity was so surreal among others because Americans were so not used of seeing an Asian guy showing so much swagger and Spike Lee saw the need to remind us that JLin is an American indeed.
In the discussions about him you often hear the comment that he's short in spite of him being 6foot3 and the fact that point guards, compared to their teammates, are often the shortest one.
He (and other Asian Males) got overlooked so much because, just like you described, the general American public associate Asian men with characteristics that are not masculine or American. Taking from your example:
short
not intimidating
unable to command
unable to field a certain level of respect
In another thread we discussed about why Americans think it's okay to make fun of Asians to a level that would be unimaginable towards Blacks.
I guess Asians "taking it" is their way of surviving.
Also, considering their relatively low number percentagewise, the most effective way for them to survive is through kind of a silent revolution, using their brain and skills whilst swallowing attacks of humiliation in a country that has defined itself as the antithet of the East and in a society that takes pride in being big, strong, aggressive and praises outspokenness.
It is quite interesting how America values bigness in so many things, like:
big country,
big cars,
big b00bs,
big 4$$,
big money,
big buildings,
big mouth [with silence, associated with Asians, being perceived as weakness.]
men are extoled for being big, tall, taking pride in having big balls and big dix, and being the antithet of the East, relegating Asian men to the opposite of "big".
This post is hogwash. The ever-popular Kung Fu films portray Asian males as powerful and sexy. American women hate big-mouthed (loud-mouthed) men. Nobody talks about "big balls, big dix", except in porn. You must spend a fair amount of time looking at porn. And the whole "macho" stereotype is a big joke for women, and most men. Those macho films are mainly for immature adolescent men.
It sounds like you get a lot of your ideas from the media. You should turn your attention to the reality around you. You may get a radically different impression. White women date Asian men. Most Asian men are not only good-looking, they tend to be kind and considerate, so they attract more women than the loud, ego-driven macho White guys you describe. Women who have gone to school or to university with Asian men or who have grown up with them as neighbors know that Asian men are wonderful.
I have not seen a single Asian man (Chinese, Paki, etc) with local women, and I live in a "cosmopolitan" place. Asians tend to date Asians. Some women find Pakis to be attractive, but there's no social interaction and they keep their women locked at their homes.
In areas with a large Asian population, Asians and Whites date. The days of Asians dating Asians has long past. When young people have parents who are immigrants, then the parents try to pressure their kids to date someone of the same nationality, but kids don't follow that. Of all my Asian friends, they're married to non-Asians. The one exception I've noticed is that Tibetans tend to marry within their community, but there are plenty of exceptions to that, as well. Many of the Tibetans are so poor, they actually try to snag an American, for economic security.
Moderator cut: I moved posts from the thread titled: "Grass greener for Asian men in Europe as compared to USA? (interracial dating) " to this one as it was basically the same subject.
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