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In the UK it is generally acceptable to ask someone their profession but not how much they earn. Asking someone how much they earn may well be met by 'mind your own business'.
Asking women their age is also a bit taboo and can be met with responses such as "as old as my tongue but older than my teeth".
It is? What's wrong with asking "what do you do" in the MidWest or South?
I've never heard it's acceptable among Americans to ask how much money someone makes. Who cares, anyway? But it's considered extremely rude. Taboo, even.
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
Sorry, but you're quite mistaken about this. "So, what do you do for a living?" or "Where do you work?" are not uncommon or taboo or "rude" or unacceptable questions in various settings in the South.
Get this - down here we actually have quite a few ambitious, career-oriented, networking professionals!
You MIGHT be right about the South.
But where I grew up in the Midwest, it's just impolite. Most people were farmers or factory workers though, and the economy is stagnant. I think it would just be a generally odd question, unless a person was the ambitious professional yuppie trying to network in Chicago or some Detroit suburb, etc. But, generally it's odd. People might politely ask 'where are you working these days', with the expectation of hearing a name like Ford, or whatsoever else. But seldom the job title itself.
In cities like Portland Oregon or Minneapolis Minnesota, where many hipsters abound, it's more important what your personal interests are, and what you do in your free time. Even moreso in Oregon. What you do is completely irrelevant, but what you like to do when you aren't working, is very important in Oregon. Different values in different places.
I assumed the South had more of that down-to-earth nature of the Midwest or Northwest...but maybe it's more of a German descendants, Scandinavian descendants, Irish descendants thing....again the U.S. is just so vast, perhaps Southerners really are superficial and about networking/connections. I always assumed, perhaps wrongly by country music's strong focus on family, small towns, etc., that the 'what do you do, and what can you do for me' would be largely absent in the South, but I'm not a Southerner and I have never lived in the South, so maybe my perceptions were wrong.
As a person who has lived in MI, MN, OR, AZ...and later moved to NYC...I was quite taken back by the amount of people who seemingly only interested 'what do you do?' throughout NYC and would quickly embrace or dismiss a person based on their answer. That just wouldn't happen in the other four states I'd lived in previously.
Last edited by Tiger Beer; 07-08-2014 at 03:19 AM..
In the UK it is generally acceptable to ask someone their profession but not how much they earn. Asking someone how much they earn may well be met by 'mind your own business'.
Asking women their age is also a bit taboo and can be met with responses such as "as old as my tongue but older than my teeth".
Both these societal norms apply to the US as well.
But where I grew up in the Midwest, it's just impolite. Most people were farmers or factory workers though, and the economy is stagnant. I think it would just be a generally odd question, unless a person was the ambitious professional yuppie trying to network in Chicago or some Detroit suburb, etc. But, generally it's odd. People might politely ask 'where are you working these days', with the expectation of hearing a name like Ford, or whatsoever else. But seldom the job title itself.
Interesting. I haven't spent much time in the Midwest and what time I did spend was in a professional capacity (corporate trainer) so in that context it was very appropriate to ask what another person "did for a living."
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In cities like Portland Oregon or Minneapolis Minnesota, where many hipsters abound, it's more important what your personal interests are, and what you do in your free time. Even moreso in Oregon. What you do is completely irrelevant, but what you like to do when you aren't working, is very important in Oregon. Different values in different places.
I'm pretty sure that it also depends on who you're accustomed to hanging around with. If you're not generally hanging around hipsters, you really don't care what their conversations revolve around. Even in Portland and Minneapolis, there are career oriented professionals who freely discuss their jobs, career goals, etc and who network aggressively. I promise! I have met them in both markets. They exist!
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I assumed the South had more of that down-to-earth nature of the Midwest or Northwest...but maybe it's more of a German descendants, Scandinavian descendants, Irish descendants thing....again the U.S. is just so vast, perhaps Southerners really are superficial and about networking/connections. I always assumed, perhaps wrongly by country music's strong focus on family, small towns, etc., that the 'what do you do, and what can you do for me' would be largely absent in the South, but I'm not a Southerner and I have never lived in the South, so maybe my perceptions were wrong.
The South is very diverse. But why do you think networking - ie, building one's business and career - is superficial?
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As a person who has lived in MI, MN, OR, AZ...and later moved to NYC...I was quite taken back by the amount of people who seemingly only interested 'what do you do?' throughout NYC and would quickly embrace or dismiss a person based on their answer. That just wouldn't happen in the other four states I'd lived in previously.
Well, I don't know about NYC - I've never lived there. Maybe that's the way people act there, but that's not what "networking" consists of in the South among most business professionals.
I assume professionals network everywhere. However, plenty of social events (non-work parties, meeting friends of friends or relatives) that have little to do with business. Some people and places it's more acceptable to have work be a topic of conversation than others. Some people would like to keep work separate and not talk about work in their free time and in a few contexts discussing careers can be a bit competitive.
As for NYC, I'm sure it has some of that. But asking what you do seemed even more common in San Francisco (and probably the Bay Area in general). The tech industry and start ups created a culture where people think their work is particularly meaningful (we will change the world with new technology) rather than a job for a job's sake. Of course, it depends on the social circle. And it seems that personal interests are also valued like Portland (outdoor sports). Someone wrote that business manager sometimes meet by road bicycling together rather than golf.
NYC is probably much more similar to Boston than San Francisco here:
Ive always heard 'with Europeans you dont discuss money, with Americans you dont discuss sex', and found it to be true quite often. Many times the first question ive heard Americans ask is 'what do you do', and even asking someone how much money they make. Id be incredibly uncomfortable asking such a thing. On the other hand i find Americans to be far more closed and prudish about sex, really being extremely careful talking about it, and ive rarely had that experience with Europeans.
I've read elsewhere on this forum an American expat in France stating that asking what one does for a living is taboo. That's not my experience here in Paris. Everytime I meet a new person (mid-20s) the question comes up quickly. Maybe it's a big city or a generational thing. However, asking a stranger how much they earn is indeed considered very rude, but I assume it's the same in the US.
I've read elsewhere on this forum an American expat in France stating that asking what one does for a living is taboo. That's not my experience here in Paris. Everytime I meet a new person (mid-20s) the question comes up quickly. Maybe it's a big city or a generational thing. However, asking a stranger how much they earn is indeed considered very rude, but I assume it's the same in the US.
Yes, it would be considered boorish behavior in just about any social setting in the US.
Interesting. I haven't spent much time in the Midwest and what time I did spend was in a professional capacity (corporate trainer) so in that context it was very appropriate to ask what another person "did for a living."
I'm pretty sure that it also depends on who you're accustomed to hanging around with. If you're not generally hanging around hipsters, you really don't care what their conversations revolve around. Even in Portland and Minneapolis, there are career oriented professionals who freely discuss their jobs, career goals, etc and who network aggressively. I promise! I have met them in both markets. They exist!
The South is very diverse. But why do you think networking - ie, building one's business and career - is superficial?
Well, I don't know about NYC - I've never lived there. Maybe that's the way people act there, but that's not what "networking" consists of in the South among most business professionals.
Every one of your posts weaves in your love of "The South". Wouldn't you be so much better off and more proud if your "South" was its own country.
Can I be legitimately rude too? I'm from up north, way up north, so it must be ok
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It is shocking to me how much people from northern Europe like the Netherlands say so many racist and rude things while claiming to be "tolerant and "direct".
Are you sure they're not just being legitimately rude? I have to say I really like the sound of that concept. "Hey, I'm rude, but it's legitimate so you can't complain." It's kinda funny in this context, as people from southern Europe are hardly innocents to the practice of quite blatant racism...
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