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This might not help your situation but can't hurt either...how is your posture, do you shuffle your feet when you walk? In other word do you project an air of confidence? I find slumpy, slouchy guys (and girls) to be very unappealing, no matter how physically attractive they may or may not be. Also people who mumble, talk in a monotone, or have a loud voice.
I am trying to be considerate of her likes/dislikes.
I recognize that she considers me unattractive. I am trying to change my appearance for her. I am doing this out of consideration, for her feelings.
If you aren't trolling us and are actually being serious, I am now certain it is your attitude/personality. I am even getting a bit stalker/creeper feeling from your answers and I'm not even that girl! I imagine you came on very strong to her, which annoyed, scared and/or turned her completely off.
So, are you trying to say that I have no chance with her simply because I was born with features that she deems, undesirable?
What you must attempt to recognize, is that I had no control over my physical appearance, when I was born. Yet, I am being punished for something I could not help.
Yes. And I don't need to attempt to tthe fact you have no control over certain physical features.
There have been boys/men in my life I was interested in, but they did not like my physical appearance. Likewise there were boys/men interested in me who I was not interested in.
Physical appearance is just one part of the equation. Even if you were to transform yourself into her physical ideal, she would still not be interested because you have nothing in common.
Just thought I would add my $.02 even though I am not saying anything new.
If you aren't trolling us and are actually being serious, I am now certain it is your attitude/personality. I am even getting a bit stalker/creeper feeling from your answers and I'm not even that girl! I imagine you came on very strong to her, which annoyed, scared and/or turned her completely off.
I'm not being rude, just trying to be honest.
I appreciate your honesty.
Please, recognize that I have said nothing to her since freshman year. After our initial meeting, there were only a few other interactions between this young lady and myself.
Her active avoidance began when she found out that I was interested in her romantically. This would have been sometime in sophomore year.
Given the fact that I have said, nothing to her for several years; I would say that it has nothing to do with my personality. She has not given me the chance to show if I have a good personality or not.
She was initially unfriendly, and became much more perturbed when she was told of my admiration for her. Had I been good looking by her standards, I can assure you that I would not have had a negative reaction.
My next step, is to try and improve my physical apperance. It is my hope that improvement of my features will make her more receptive to giving me a chance.
Please, recognize that I have said nothing to her since freshman year. After our initial meeting, there were only a few other interactions between this young lady and myself.
Her active avoidance began when she found out that I was interested in her romantically. This would have been sometime in sophomore year.
CC: So you haven't spoken to this young woman in three years? How can you know if you have anything in common that would lead to any kind of relationship, be it friendship or romantic, if you've never spoken with her (not just to her, WITH her - ideally, had numerous conversations with her about numerous things?)
Given the fact that I have said, nothing to her for several years; I would say that it has nothing to do with my personality. She has not given me the chance to show if I have a good personality or not.
She was initially unfriendly, and became much more perturbed when she was told of my admiration for her. Had I been good looking by her standards, I can assure you that I would not have had a negative reaction.
CC: You are assuming this. Very young women may be initially attracted by good looks, but that's not enough to sustain a relationship, nor are ordinary looks enough to prevent a relationship. Actually, if you haven't spoken to her since she was what, fourteen (and she's now around seventeen or eighteen), how can you possibly know what "her standards" re. good looks may be?
My next step, is to try and improve my physical apperance. It is my hope that improvement of my features will make her more receptive to giving me a chance.
CC: If she is shallow enough to change her opinion of you solely because of your changed appearance, is she really the girl of your dreams? Think about it...
So, are you trying to say that I have no chance with her simply because I was born with features that she deems, undesirable?
What you must attempt to recognize, is that I had no control over my physical appearance, when I was born.Yet, I am being punished for something I could not help.
Welcome to the world of grown-ups.
Life is not fair. You don't always get what you want.
You have come on to an adult website and looking for an answer that you won't get, no matter how often, or differently you ask.
The world doesn't operate in black and white. It's filled with many shades of grey. So, when you post here that you will NEVER be interested in anyone else, you won't find people ready to agree with you and foster that absolute.
You don't want help or advice, you've already gotten that, and don't want to accept it. You're looking for someone to say "do this" or "do that" or "take this magic pill" and all will be right in the world and your perfect girl will see you in a whole new light and fall madly in love with you. Not going to happen.
You been given the same advice over and over, in nice and harsh ways, but all the same. Forget about the girl and/or seek counseling.
I wish you the best, and hope you can put this obsession behind you.
My best advice for the future, when you come across a girl you like, don't ask her out until you are absolutely certain she likes you the same way. If you ask her out when she only likes you as a friend, it could kill your chances forever. You need to be patient and take your time. quote]
This advice is irrelevant; because I would NEVER consider any woman but the young lady I am interested in. She is the (only) one I hope to someday marry, and have a family with. If she refuses to accept me, I will accept the fact that I must live a single life.
I would have run for the HILLS if a guy had come at me like that when I was 19. You barely know this woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her? Why? If something happened to her looks tomorrow, would you still feel that way about her? What if she HATES kids and doesn't even want them? What if she likes annoying music and eats with her mouth open?
Seriously, this is way more about YOU than it is about her. You do seem to be projecting some sort of dream woman ideal onto this girl. Why are you doing that? I think lots of guys do this and actually probably lots of girls do this, I have never understood it. You do realize that the object of your affection is just as human, just as flawed as you are, don't you?
Please devote your energy into bettering yourself. Focus on enjoying this time of your life. The right girl will come along...
Really, you are moving into major creepy. This may have nothing to do with looks. People choose who theywant, she has made it clear, she is not iinterested in you.
There is no magic pill. Move on. And stop with the obsession.
This might not help your situation but can't hurt either...how is your posture, do you shuffle your feet when you walk? In other word do you project an air of confidence? I find slumpy, slouchy guys (and girls) to be very unappealing, no matter how physically attractive they may or may not be. Also people who mumble, talk in a monotone, or have a loud voice.
To answer your questions:
I would consider my posture to be fine
I do not shuffle my feet when I walk.
I try to project an air of confidence.
I also do not talk in a monotone or loud voice.
As, you can see I have been very conscientious about my appearance, and ensuring that I make a positive impression.
Go have an awesome career, make 6+ figures, and then you will see the difference in behavior.
Some girls are taught to live off of men...(shameful IMO), but they are there, so maybe she pictures herself with George Clooney or some other older, more established guy. What you "can" do is mind your career, always wear nice clothes, pamper yourself, (I see teens looking like homeless ppl for some reason, girls walk with a hunchback too, don't get the lack of proper posture at all), look distinguished, and You put some distance, but be close enough to be "seen" on occasion.
The more you try to get closer, the further she'll push you, even if you're a great catch. Women, don't try to figure us out, you'll loose no mater what. Win something, have a story published, do something that would be visible. But at the same time, assure yourself somehow she's worth it. Some girls are not worth the hair on their legs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay Watson
I have posted about my unrequited love on the relationships board of CD, previously. The moderators, would rather I not bring up the subject of the particular young lady I am interested in, so I will try to be brief.
In short, I can tell you that I have been interested in the same young lady since freshmen year of high school. She has rejected me repeatedly, and despite this I would NEVER Consider anyone else.
I believe that the rejection, may be partially related to the fact that she considers me unattractive physically. My question, today is this; " What steps can a teenage (19) guy, take to improve his appearance"? My hope, is that I can improve my appearance, to the point where she would someday consider me.
Physically, I am at the average height for a guy my age. I am tall, but not as tall as many of the guys I recently graduated with. I would consider myself, slender not skinny.
I also do my best, to exercise and eat right. I have now eliminated all fried food from my diet, as well as red meat. I have done my best to eat more fruits, and vegetables rather than processed food items.
Additionally, I make an effort to ensure that I am properly groomed on a daily bases ( hair cut, shaved, etc.)
What more can I do?
Regardless, of my efforts; this girl gave no notice. We graduated last weekend.
I realize that she considers me very unattractive at this point. I would appreciate suggestions regarding, steps I could take to improve myself. It is my hope that I can change for the better, by the time our first class reunion takes place.
Thank you in advance for any help!
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Yet, I am being punished for something I could not help.
), but they are there, so maybe she pictures herself with George Clooney or some other older, more established guy. What you "can" do is mind your career, always wear nice clothes, pamper yourself, (I see teens looking like homeless ppl for some reason, girls walk with a hunchback too, don't get the lack of proper posture at all), look distinguished, and You put some distance, but be close enough to be "seen" on occasion. 
We graduated last weekend.