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Okay, do you really know this young woman, or are you mainly attracted to her physical appearance? What is she interested in? How does she spend her spare time? What are her plans for the future? Did you share any classes with her in high school? Did you spend time in other activities in which she was involved? Do you have any interests in common? How does she get along with others? Who's her best friend? Is she seeing any other guy(s)?
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I'd rather not get off topic here so check this: High School Issue for an explanation of what exactly transpired between me and this young lady.
The fact of the matter, is that I am aware that she finds me very unattractive. I have accepted that.
However, I would like to improve my appearance for the better.
Hopefully some of the suggestions I recieve here will be fruitful in helping me reach my goal.
I understand that there needs to be a physical attraction but that should not be the only thing that brings 2 people together. OP do you really want to work so hard to change yourself or be someone who you are not so you can date this girl?
I have dated guys who were at first were not my type appearance wise but I got to know them and their personality etc and that helped them look better on the outside if I am making sense.
I think you are being too hard on yourself and you are also guessing what is going on in someones head. You said she has rejected you many times so I wonder what you mean by this and how you are asking her out or approaching her
I understand that there needs to be a physical attraction but that should not be the only thing that brings 2 people together. OP do you really want to work so hard to change yourself or be someone who you are not so you can date this girl?
I have dated guys who were at first were not my type appearance wise but I got to know them and their personality etc and that helped them look better on the outside if I am making sense.
I think you are being too hard on yourself and you are also guessing what is going on in someones head. You said she has rejected you many times so I wonder what you mean by this and how you are asking her out or approaching her
Thanks for the reply. I have tired to do all of these with the exception of # 3. I'm a pretty slender guy, so that would take a lot of work.
Thanks for the suggestions!
No problem! I also have a natural slender body, but you are now getting to the age where your body will add muscle mass much easier, if you working out properly. A personal trainer for a 3 day session would cost around $100 and he will create a three day work out plan to boost the areas you want. If you have a good body, you can have an average face, but still look like a eight or nine.
She didn't have to say it. Her actions toward me made it obvious.
When I first met her (back in freshmen year), I tried to make conversation with her. Keep in mind, that she knew nothing about me at that point. Yet, she was anything but friendly.
It appears that she was opposed to giving me a chance from the beginning; as her responses to my questions were short, curt, and in a monotone voice.
Therefore, I believe that she considered me very unattractive during our initial encounter; and still does.
There could be many reasons she was short with you besides your looks. She may have already liked a guy, she may have recently broken up, she may not have been interested in dating at the time... the list goes on. I know many girls that will act cold to a new guy if they aren't interested in dating during that time in their life. It doesn't matter if the guy is the most handsome person she has ever seen. I really don't think your looks are the main source of her shortness. It might have been the way you approached her. It might be she wasn't interested in dating. There could be many other reasons. I'm sure your looks have changed somewhat in those four years. The problem is she already has an impression on you, so it won't matter much how you change your looks at this point. My best advice for the future, when you come across a girl you like, don't ask her out until you are absolutely certain she likes you the same way. If you ask her out when she only likes you as a friend, it could kill your chances forever. You need to be patient and take your time. You can find reasons to touch her such as jokingly tickle her once for just one or two seconds and see how she responds. Use baby steps, invite her to lunch, dinner, outings more often. Once she starts playing back with you and starts initiating wanting to go out with you, then she might like you and then you can attempt to ask her out. If you ask her out too early, it will just make her feel awkward from that day on if you want to spend a lot of time with her or if you touch her in anyway.
Move on. It is probably the whole package that doesn't interest her and your obsession is scary. Try putting yourself in her place. Think about a girl that you have no interest in whatsoever and know that she is desperately seeking your attention and would be willing to change to in order to have you notice her and be interested in her. Desperate rarely gets results. You have graduated and now it is time to move on to another part of your life past this infatuation with a girl that has no interest. Or, you could end up never desiring anyone else and live a lonely and unfulfilled life and I have seen that done but I would consider that a waste of my life. Lots of girls out there and maybe one is trying to get your attention or will be and you'll miss out on the chance of your lifetime while obsessing about a girl that will never be interested in you. Your choice.
You cannot make someone like you. You could look like the hottest guy on the planet, and still not get this gal.
I suggest therapy, so you can move forward, and find a woman who will appreciate you, just the way you are. That means, focusing on increasing internal self esteem, so you would not give a second thought to a woman who is not into you. That is your real problem.
She didn't have to say it. Her actions toward me made it obvious.
When I first met her (back in freshmen year), I tried to make conversation with her. Keep in mind, that she knew nothing about me at that point. Yet, she was anything but friendly.
It appears that she was opposed to giving me a chance from the beginning; as her responses to my questions were short, curt, and in a monotone voice.
Therefore, I believe that she considered me very unattractive during our initial encounter; and still does.
What would say to some butt ugly chick who MUST HAVE YOU and WOULD NOT consider anyone else?
I've been here with the "high school crush" that you can't stop thinking about. There's always this urge to get her in the end, to "win" in the end, to show everybody that you were worthy after all, etc. etc. This is a fantasy.
You need to walk away and/or check into a few therapy sessions.
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