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Location: West Los Angeles and Rancho Palos Verdes
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Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart
So have you ever thought that maybe your ideals of what is attractive is really not your ideals, for example, i grew up moving around alot being exposed to different cultures, religious beliefs, and families. I hardly watched t.v. As an adult I have alot of guys that are friends and sometimes we talk about you ladies, whats attractive, whats not etc. My friends mostly talk about the skinny, model type as being attractive etc, where im usually one of the lone guys that says i llke bbw ladies or, and nerd girls.I also like a few model type girls but mostly its ladies with more to love that i find attractive. I once asked my friends why they thought that models where more attractive or why they were attracted to the model type mostly and most of my friends just shrugged.
So do u think t.v. magazines, peer pressure etc influences what you find attractive, even on an unconscious level? And how does it influence u?
I think there's certainly something to be said about this. I'm one of the "unbrainwashed" types who has a very different conception of what I find attractive. For one thing, I don't like make-up. Period. I think it looks greasy and freaky, and what most guys consider "plain", I find appealing. I'm also something of a nerd chaser, and I find an educated female far sexier than those of another sort. I honestly find a women carrying a big book to be sexier than one simply carrying a big rack.
Society always influences people. You might be aware Black-American males (and often Latinos too) tend to more often like women with larger, rounder, butts than a lot of white males reared in non-Latino cultures.
In fact, there has been some things written on the Brazilian males emphasis on the woman's backside vs the long tradition in the U.S. of men placing emphasis on a woman's breast. Consequently, I have read in a book that it's much more common in Brazil than in the U.S. to see women photographed from behind.
What I learned about Sexual Selection theory is that among humans it's common for a guy approaching a woman at a table to have to be approved of by all the women, because the group will tell the woman he's approaching what to think of him.
So, yeah, people receive indoctrinations in the society they live in.
Grade schools and high schools can be some of the biggest centers of peer pressure. How many boys do you think will date the girl that all the other boys make fun of? And females typically like males that one or more other females are after or have. Reminds me of this woman that paid no attention to me at all until she saw this very attractive woman getting into my car. Then all of a sudden she's eying me up like I magically transformed into something worthwhile.
You are absolutely correct! You would be suprised how many women want you if a good looking woman desires you or if you are already with someone else and you are happy. I think it is the air of indifference towards other women that men who are happy with someone have that attracts women as well.
So have you ever thought that maybe your ideals of what is attractive is really not your ideals, for example, i grew up moving around alot being exposed to different cultures, religious beliefs, and families. I hardly watched t.v. As an adult I have alot of guys that are friends and sometimes we talk about you ladies, whats attractive, whats not etc. My friends mostly talk about the skinny, model type as being attractive etc, where im usually one of the lone guys that says i llke bbw ladies or, and nerd girls.I also like a few model type girls but mostly its ladies with more to love that i find attractive. I once asked my friends why they thought that models where more attractive or why they were attracted to the model type mostly and most of my friends just shrugged.
So do u think t.v. magazines, peer pressure etc influences what you find attractive, even on an unconscious level? And how does it influence u?
My viewpoint is closer to yours and I was contaminated by every possible media input available over the last 30 years. I'm not particularly driven to bbw woman but if she had a pretty face and was proportional I would be fine with that.
Grade schools and high schools can be some of the biggest centers of peer pressure. How many boys do you think will date the girl that all the other boys make fun of? And females typically like males that one or more other females are after or have. Reminds me of this woman that paid no attention to me at all until she saw this very attractive woman getting into my car. Then all of a sudden she's eying me up like I magically transformed into something worthwhile.
Sometimes it is really the air of being unattainable that can be appealing. Or really just the validation that if someone else is interested it must be good.
You know like the empty restaurant theory at dinner time. Many people would rather wait in line for dinner, then go to the place with no wait. Because the place with no wait must be crappy, if the place next door has a huge line.
Mahalo guys really good posts. So do u think the area u live in or the culture and population makeup could also have an effect on a persons perception on what is attractive? My theory is that what we find attractive is majorly learned and its deep in our subconscious. So its hard to be aware of it.
The statement i said earlier remains the same. If what we perceive as attractive wasnt learned by others, media etc but was genetic, then wouldn't what everyone perceives as attractive remain the same thru the generations? But it hasn't has it?
Hmm another example would be i grewup in Hawai'i, majority of the population is asian. Now today i find Asian or Asian Hapa(mixed) Wahines(woman,girls) the most sexy wahines in the world. Now is this because of my exposer to them in Hawai'i? Or is this biological? What if i lived in an area where a big majority of the population was African American? Would i then find them the most attractive? Interesting thought.
That's the heart of the matter. Love maps are formed early in life. (There are books on the subject.) I personally grew up almost entirely among white people and strongly prefer white people (but very Nordic people, who I didn't know in childhood, usually look weird to me). There is some genetic attraction, too - moderate genetic similarity is attractive. I think that accounts for some age-related changes - as most people get used to seeing themselves look older, they better tolerate signs of aging in others. I'm sure the media and other environmental factors influence attraction throughout life, but it's probably minor in adulthood.
So have you ever thought that maybe your ideals of what is attractive is really not your ideals, for example, i grew up moving around alot being exposed to different cultures, religious beliefs, and families. I hardly watched t.v. As an adult I have alot of guys that are friends and sometimes we talk about you ladies, whats attractive, whats not etc. My friends mostly talk about the skinny, model type as being attractive etc, where im usually one of the lone guys that says i llke bbw ladies or, and nerd girls.I also like a few model type girls but mostly its ladies with more to love that i find attractive. I once asked my friends why they thought that models where more attractive or why they were attracted to the model type mostly and most of my friends just shrugged.
So do u think t.v. magazines, peer pressure etc influences what you find attractive, even on an unconscious level? And how does it influence u?
No, and no. My ideas of what/who is attractive are very much my own. Some women I find attractive are very far from the so-called ideal of slim, white, blonde (or just slim). I like bbw, I like athletic/muscular/big, I like nerd, and I like some women whom most people just don't find attractive at all.
I do not think I am brainwashed. I also think that my preference of a thick or sturdy or busty or hippy or voluptuous woman has always been the ideal throughout history and has never really changed or differs that much from one country to the next. Oh sure you can tweak it some by adding more emphasis on the rump or chest from one region to the other but it isnt drastically different.
the problem is you can only reference those who won the war so to speak, those who write the history books. The rich, the powerful the media etc. If I were an alien looking down on the US or a poster 100 years from now commenting on this era id only have what evidence pop culture gives as the ideal beauty which is apparently waifish board flat supermodels that look like they don't eat very often. The people that control high fashion and Hollywood get to decide that this is best while guys like me don't really have a voice we just continue to go after the thicker heavier women and life goes on.
Fashion magazines are bought by women, they have skinny models on the front of them.
Men's magazines have voluptuous and curvy and busty women on the front of them. They are bought by men. There's no confusion amongst most people, guys like womanly women.
Men who find stick thin women visually sexy are generally and are identifying with other women, not men, or are scared of women.
Speaking only for myself, I don't think the media or any other outside influences have any impact on who I find attractive or why. I just know I am attracted to someone and I really don't give it a second thought or think why. I'm also attracted to different types, so I'm not necessarily locked into any one type. I have certain preferences, but I can appreciate an attractive woman from any race or type.
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