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Ppl stop & tell you about the item you complimented them on? IMO it’s super weird & narcissistic for them to assume anybody would care. I just say thank you & give a big smile or tell them to have a nice day. AND answer a question if they had one..like what jeweler or how long I’ve been engaged. (edit: & married now). Mostly small talk both ways tho…when I compliment too. I totally understand talking about it more if it is a friend but then they probably know anyway.
How is it weird for someone to say "Thanks, I got it when I was in Greece" or "My grandmother gave this to me" or even "I love it too and couldn't resist buying it!".
Unless the complimenter acts especially interested it likely doesn't extend further into any kind of story - yes, that might be weird. But otherwise, there's nothing narcissistic about it. If I offered a compliment and someone abruptly told me to have a nice day, THAT would put me off as though I'd been dismissed.
I will only compliment people I know personally - and never in the office. Even then, I only compliment the item, never the person (i.e. "that's a nice dress" vs. "you look nice in that dress")
There are people that will file complaints about what they heard someone say to someone else...it's just not worth the trip to HR
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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
How is it weird for someone to say "Thanks, I got it when I was in Greece" or "My grandmother gave this to me" or even "I love it too and couldn't resist buying it!".
That’s different than “telling a lovely story about it” BUT I wouldn’t do this^^ either. It sounds like bragging IMO after somebody was super nice to compliment it. Like with my engagement ring, I would NEVER EVER say, “thanks, I got it in Italy” to somebody that tells me they love my ring. A stranger might ask the carat size or what jeweler or they joke about what my man does…but I would never give them any background information on it “or tell a lovely story about it” to a stranger that just complimented my ring. You do you tho.
That’s different than “telling a lovely story about it” BUT I wouldn’t do this^^ either. It sounds like bragging IMO after somebody was super nice to compliment it. Like with my engagement ring, I would NEVER EVER say, “thanks, I got it in Italy” to somebody that tells me they love my ring. A stranger might ask the carat size or what jeweler or they joke about what my man does…but I would never give them any background information on it “or tell a lovely story about it” to a stranger that just complimented my ring. You do you tho.
Sure...to me, commenting back can reinforce the compliment - yes, there is indeed some reason why I like it too and it's "worthy" of your notice. Kind of the opposite of the earlier example where the person getting the compliment basically said "This old thing? I got it for $3 at a Dollar General" - that makes the complimenter feel worse.
Sure...to me, commenting back can reinforce the compliment - yes, there is indeed some reason why I like it too and it's "worthy" of your notice. Kind of the opposite of the earlier example where the person getting the compliment basically said "This old thing? I got it for $3 at a Dollar General" - that makes the complimenter feel worse.
Some people just like to quibble and look for things to debate where there are none.
If someone goes through the trouble of putting on and wearing a nice piece of jewelry that's clearly something they are proud of - whether "real" or "costume," I am likely to compliment it. Something along the lines of "Wow, I love the style of that necklace," or "What a beautiful color of stone that is!" I mean, it would be sincere and if that makes them uncomfortable, so what? I'd think that's more their problem than it is mine.
One of my fondest memories was when my late husband went through all sorts of trouble finding and matching up two antique diamonds for a pair of earrings for me. They were not blingy or super big or anything like that - they were both just very nice stones. I actually had a complete stranger - and a man at that - come up to me in a restaurant and say, in front of my husband "I just wanted to tell you that I noticed those stones across the room, and they're beautiful - someone must love you very much." (If I'd bought them myself I would have said "Thanks, that someone is me!" at that point but instead I said "Here's the man who found them and had them made for me!") Same with the diamond and platinum fleur de lis necklace he had made for me several years later. I love it when someone notices the beauty of this unobtrusive and definitely non blingy piece and compliments me on it (thankfully that's pretty regularly since I never take it off).
I am not into a lot of bling but I am into quality and I love it when it's appreciated in return and someone compliments me on a piece of jewelry. And that's why I do the same. Like I said, if it bothers someone, honestly that's just too bad I guess. It's not like I'll ever know it anyway - LOL - if it was a stranger I complimented, which is typically what I'd do.
Ppl stop & tell you about the item you complimented them on? IMO it’s super weird & narcissistic for them to assume anybody would care. I just say thank you & give a big smile or tell them to have a nice day. AND answer a question if they had one..like what jeweler or how long I’ve been engaged. (edit: & married now). Mostly small talk both ways tho…when I compliment too. I totally understand talking about it more if it is a friend but then they probably know anyway.
edit:
Ita….there are a lot of angry ppl out there. But IMO, telling a stranger a story about a piece of jewelry they are wearing is socially awkward communication. It’s all 1 way AND they don’t even know each other’s names…it’s information a stranger probably doesn’t care about.
Nah, it isn't weird. It's called *having a conversation with a IRL person*.
If someone goes through the trouble of putting on and wearing a nice piece of jewelry that's clearly something they are proud of - whether "real" or "costume," I am likely to compliment it. Something along the lines of "Wow, I love the style of that necklace," or "What a beautiful color of stone that is!" I mean, it would be sincere and if that makes them uncomfortable, so what? I'd think that's more their problem than it is mine.
One of my fondest memories was when my late husband went through all sorts of trouble finding and matching up two antique diamonds for a pair of earrings for me. They were not blingy or super big or anything like that - they were both just very nice stones. I actually had a complete stranger - and a man at that - come up to me in a restaurant and say, in front of my husband "I just wanted to tell you that I noticed those stones across the room, and they're beautiful - someone must love you very much." (If I'd bought them myself I would have said "Thanks, that someone is me!" at that point but instead I said "Here's the man who found them and had them made for me!") Same with the diamond and platinum fleur de lis necklace he had made for me several years later. I love it when someone notices the beauty of this unobtrusive and definitely non blingy piece and compliments me on it (thankfully that's pretty regularly since I never take it off).
I am not into a lot of bling but I am into quality and I love it when it's appreciated in return and someone compliments me on a piece of jewelry. And that's why I do the same. Like I said, if it bothers someone, honestly that's just too bad I guess. It's not like I'll ever know it anyway - LOL - if it was a stranger I complimented, which is typically what I'd do.
That's a beautiful story about how strangers can connect about something beautiful. Sharing the story of the earrings (with your husband right there to see the honest appreciation) made the gentleman who complimented them, feel all the more special.
KA, I'm like you. I enjoy interacting with others even if I don't know them. You never know what hardships others are dealing with and sometimes a simple kind exchange can make a world of difference.
That’s different than “telling a lovely story about it” BUT I wouldn’t do this^^ either. It sounds like bragging IMO after somebody was super nice to compliment it. Like with my engagement ring, I would NEVER EVER say, “thanks, I got it in Italy” to somebody that tells me they love my ring. A stranger might ask the carat size or what jeweler or they joke about what my man does…but I would never give them any background information on it “or tell a lovely story about it” to a stranger that just complimented my ring. You do you tho.
We're all different and as my daughter would say "you do you." Interacting with kind strangers IRL is something many people of all ages, enjoy. You either understand this or you don't. No one is being held hostage to hear "the lovely story." I am a big fan of "lovely stories" and the people who choose to share them.
You bet I draw attention to a persons resource!
That resource is invaluable! It is called having good taste. Manners. Suave. Creative!
Why not acknowledge it!
My aunt got into making her own necklaces. Stunning ! It's artful.
She knows I love to sew. Made a necklace out of thimbles, and beads. People would remark. I finally said, it's my aunt's doing. I will pass on to her your compliment for her talent!
Very nice!
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A stranger might ask the carat size or what jeweler or they joke about what my man does…but I would never give them any background information on it “or tell a lovely story about it” to a stranger that just complimented my ring. You do you tho.
Ita….there are a lot of angry ppl out there. But IMO, telling a stranger a story about a piece of jewelry they are wearing is socially awkward communication. It’s all 1 way AND they don’t even know each other’s names
…it’s information a stranger probably doesn’t care about.
