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I think that you will find this is a regional trait. Many places, like my home in Cincinnati, please and thank you goes with every communication with wait staff and it would be awkward to hear it otherwise. But, Chicago which was my home town is much more curt or direct as they might say. I doubt anyone there thinks it rude to say: "hey waiter, more butter." But in Cincinnati, you would never hear that said in any restaurant regardless of how gritty it is. It would start with "excuse me" and end with "please" and if the butter arrived it would be greeted with "thank you."
I haven't been to Cincinatti but in other parts of OH, AZ, NV, CA, TX, NY, NJ, MI, WI, IN, IL and Washington DC it's rare. Whenever I bring this up everyone always insists I haven't been to their state but I think people are just so used to this that they don't notice it as unusual any more.
In this country people don't linger over their meals as they do in Europe. Many Americans WANT their plates removed ASAP, get the check and be gone.
Plus, if you sit at your table a long time it means someone else isn't seated and eating. The restaurant is loosing sales and the server is loosing tips. That server is depending on her tips to make a living wage in this country. If you are lingering (and I'm not sure if you are or not but if you are) the nice, courteous thing to do is leave a big tip.
(No, I'm not a waitress. But I have great sympathy for anyone on their feet all day trying to make a living.)
If the restaurant had people waiting and no empty tables than I would leave quicker but our average restaurant bill for 2 is usually around $150 so we are 'good customers' and usually leave the 20% tip and more if its deserved....
Well, you probably haven't spent much time in Southern Europe but the decibel level of personal communications would shock you. Sort of like what you might experience in an inner city high school in a big city. You may think that is a joke. Some people find it charming. I found it off putting.
I have witnessed this in Spain and Italy but it wasn't in especially public places, and I've spent a lot of time in both countries. Perhaps it's the company you keep...
I haven't been to Cincinatti but in other parts of OH, AZ, NV, CA, TX, NY, NJ, MI, WI, IN, IL and Washington DC it's rare. Whenever I bring this up everyone always insists I haven't been to their state but I think people are just so used to this that they don't notice it as unusual any more.
People are rude as h*ll in the restaurants here in Florida.
In this country people don't linger over their meals as they do in Europe. Many Americans WANT their plates removed ASAP, get the check and be gone.
Plus, if you sit at your table a long time it means someone else isn't seated and eating. The restaurant is loosing sales and the server is loosing tips. That server is depending on her tips to make a living wage in this country. If you are lingering (and I'm not sure if you are or not but if you are) the nice, courteous thing to do is leave a big tip.
(No, I'm not a waitress. But I have great sympathy for anyone on their feet all day trying to make a living.)
In most restaurants, servers have specific table assignments as opposed to customers being assigned as they come in. So if one server has a table that sits for two hours instead of three seatings, it actually costs the server money out of her pocket. Don't be surprised if the server is not overjoyed with a table of people who reduce her income for the night by $50 or more.
And it may not matter that there are empty tables in the restaurant. Those tables may not even be assigned.
I eat promptly and move to the bar if I am going to spend much time. One of my favorite restaurant groups, Ruby's, if you are there for more than a cup of coffee or an after dinner drink, the server will say: "Mr. ruby would like to buy you a drink in the bar" which yahoos take as a treat but sophisticated diners know means: "move on, you've overstayed your welcome."
Much of Europe has dispensed with the tools and eat many things with hands that we would not consider. I suppose there is a historical basis for this. Of course, Switzerland, Belgium, Austria and Germany are notable exceptions to that and is far more mannerly than the US. But as far as hygiene and manners are concerned France, Italy, Portugal, and Spain would shock most American who have not visited there. Some may prefer that. I do not. There was discussion about food sharing above. In Italy is common to see people picking things off of others plates at the table with fingers. Food which will not be washed before served is typically out in the open and is handled and put back. The presence of meat cases and dairy cases are the exception and not the rule in Europe. One could not legally conduct the typical French restaurant in the US because food is rarely stored at the required temperatures. Europeans are far more confortable yelling about personal matters in a public place than we are comfortable with here. I have been there many times and find the culture of those four countries charming but shocking.
I really have no idea where you have been to in Europe but short of cold cuts and cheese or maybe olives I never see people eating with their fingers or taking food from a shared plate. Even pizza is eaten with a knife AND fork in Italy.....I have seen people eating directly from a shared plate in an italian restaurant - a 4 * one in NYC ..... and yes they were American. dried meats and hams are supposed to be left outside to cure. I have no idea what a meat / cheese case is ?? is this a refrigerated cabinet ???
Ok! I admit it. I use the 'zigzag' method. All the time. Didn't even realize it. I've known about the Continental and American, but forgot all about it. I guess the exception is if I'm in a hurry or eating at my desk.
And I do think most wait staff know etiquette but mostly they ignore convention in order of ease; if you haven't noticed, etiquette is a much more lenient in the USA. But in the end, it's harmless as the majority of people are much more lax and comfortable with it.
Nice find....except a bit dated. He forgot "turn off you cell phone!" and "no texting at the table".
His description of eating with a knife and fork vs. eating with "just" a fork made sense to me. I'm a veggie and often my entree (penne in marinara anyone?) doesn't require a knife. Holding a knife in my right hand and fork in my left in that case just seems....silly and pretentious.
But he did say the fork-only (or spoon-only) style of eating required that the utensil be held in the right hand. Even for lefties? That seems a bit archaic; kind of like the nuns wacking the hands of students who dared to write with the left-hand.
It was interesting that he touched on chopsticks. But why stop there? In some cultures food IS eaten with hands, scooped up with bread, eaten from a communal bowl. As others have posted "when in Rome..." I find that following the lead of my host(ess) works 90% of the time.
Great topic OP! I'm pretty much happy as long as my dinning companions obey the no-cell-phone rule, keep their elbows off the table, and eat/chew with their mouths closed. Oh, and wear clothes. I married a nudist, who lived in a clothing-optional community for a time, and well humans eating while nude is just...uh. Not for me.
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Holding a knife in my right hand and fork in my left in that case just seems....silly and pretentious.
