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I eat what I am served. I am not very picky and if I am on a strict diet I either let people know in advance or simply don't go, if it's something I don't normally eat I just try it.
Bringing your own food and eating it ignoring the food served by the hosts would look like an offence in my country but I've seen that in the US before when a family woke up early morning to make great breakfast consisting of several different dishes, both healthy and unhealthy ones and the girl who theycooked that for (it was a bridal shower morning) actually didn't even try it and went through drive through McDonald's to get some wrap or burrito or something like that instead and it didn't look like people were offended.
I'm 99% sure that people were offended, they just didn't want to embarrass their new daughter-in-law, sister-in-law or niece by marriage on the day of her bridal shower.
Trust me that will be talking about it for years.
Or, it was their daughter, sister or niece and they were used to how inconsiderate she always acts.
Last edited by germaine2626; 08-15-2013 at 07:12 PM..
I have a friend like this, he only eats chicken, steak, ground beef, pork chops, bacon, pasta, rice and occasionally French fries. When we go there for dinner I bring 2 side dishes for my hubby, myself and my friend's SO. There might be a salad if the SO makes one. There's always dessert though LOL.
Can't imagine anyone actually DOING anything, but, sitting and dining when the time arrives. Sounds like a fine meal to me.
I am grateful and I do eat what is served. People are misunderstanding me. I just wanted to know if others have similar experiences. I know the guy a long time and knew from the first day we met that he did not eat much of anything. Most of the time we just eat what he makes and only bring a dessert. It's only for large gatherings that we bring other dishes. Before we met I never knew anyone who never ate fruit, veggies or other dishes.
I totally get what you are saying. It's not that you don't like it, or are allergic or have any kind of dietary issues, its just that it's kind of strange to have people over for a meal and not offer any kind of veggie or fruit, just meat and starch. Even though my parents eat pretty much just like your friend, whenever they have people over for a meal they at least have some kind of veggie/fruit side dish for their guests. They realize they have a very limited diet and that most people probably eat a bit more of a variety than they do.
I also do not see anything wrong with you bringing a side dish. It sounds like these are pretty casual gatherings. I think it's perfectly acceptable to take a dish. I can't imagine not at least asking what I could bring to something like a BBQ. Everyone I know does that. It's not like you are taking something to a formal affair. That would be wrong.
I do think its important if you are asked to bring a dish, that the host/hostess lets you know if most of the guests do have some sort of dietary restrictions. I was part of a community ladies Bible study group a few years ago. There was maybe 10-12 ladies in the group, many of whom, including the hostess attended the same church. The woman who hosted it in her home decided to have a Christmas luncheon for the group. Everyone was to bring a dish to share. One women said she would bring the meat dish. Several from the group were unable to attend and it ended up that the woman bringing the meat dish and I were the only 2 that did not attend the same church. The woman who was to bring the meat, brought a beautiful ham. After we sat down to eat and begin to pass the food around no one but she and I took a piece of the ham. She asked the woman seated next to her if she would like a slice of ham and the other woman replied, "we don't eat pork". What? She nor I realized that there were certain Christian denominations that do not eat pork. I felt so bad for her because she had spent a lot of money on this ham and no one but me even touched it. A heads up would have been nice for her, especially since the hostess knew in advance who was and was not coming.
None of what my friend makes gives health or allergic issues. I would never decline any invitation because he buys high quality meats and he's a great cook, plus he's like a bother to my husband. I can bring anything I want without asking, it's understood. I only bring other stuff if there's more than just the 4 of us. Otherwise all we bring is a dessert.
I have had an aunt that loves potatoes and bacon, and salt. These items would appear in her meals she prepared on Sunday, pretty much always. The only time she slowed up cooking with these things is when she got a mild health scare and good talking-to from her doctor, then she would change her ways for a few weeks. I would go to her house, put heaping tablespoons of everything I could stand on my plate and swallow as best I could, because I love my aunt and I didn't want to seem like a brat.
I totally get what you are saying. It's not that you don't like it, or are allergic or have any kind of dietary issues, its just that it's kind of strange to have people over for a meal and not offer any kind of veggie or fruit, just meat and starch. Even though my parents eat pretty much just like your friend, whenever they have people over for a meal they at least have some kind of veggie/fruit side dish for their guests. They realize they have a very limited diet and that most people probably eat a bit more of a variety than they do.
I also do not see anything wrong with you bringing a side dish. It sounds like these are pretty casual gatherings. I think it's perfectly acceptable to take a dish. I can't imagine not at least asking what I could bring to something like a BBQ. Everyone I know does that. It's not like you are taking something to a formal affair. That would be wrong.
I do think its important if you are asked to bring a dish, that the host/hostess lets you know if most of the guests do have some sort of dietary restrictions. I was part of a community ladies Bible study group a few years ago. There was maybe 10-12 ladies in the group, many of whom, including the hostess attended the same church. The woman who hosted it in her home decided to have a Christmas luncheon for the group. Everyone was to bring a dish to share. One women said she would bring the meat dish. Several from the group were unable to attend and it ended up that the woman bringing the meat dish and I were the only 2 that did not attend the same church. The woman who was to bring the meat, brought a beautiful ham. After we sat down to eat and begin to pass the food around no one but she and I took a piece of the ham. She asked the woman seated next to her if she would like a slice of ham and the other woman replied, "we don't eat pork". What? She nor I realized that there were certain Christian denominations that do not eat pork. I felt so bad for her because she had spent a lot of money on this ham and no one but me even touched it. A heads up would have been nice for her, especially since the hostess knew in advance who was and was not coming.
I think you handle it very well, OP. He's a friend, who you eat with a lot. I wouldn't mind at all if someone brought extras, as long as it wasn't a formal sit down type dinner. In fact, I'd feel terrible if someone came over to eat a few times a month for years and years, and I didn't know they were having to go home to eat or stop somewhere, just because they were trying to be polite. In an informal setting, definitely say something!
On the other hand, I used to be one of Those People who were always eating some special way. First, vegetarian, then when that made me fat, low carb. And I mean STRICT low carb, no lee way. Sigh. I'm embarrassed at myself now and wish someone had just whacked me upside the head. And on top of that I had several food dislikes that I wouldn't eat.
Now, I've learned to like a wider variety of foods, and I eat stuff I don't like too just so the host/ess doesn't get flustered trying to find me something else. The only thing I won't eat are the things that would make me sick like organ meats or caraway seed. That's about it.
If everyone brings a side it's ok, but if you are the only one I'm thinking that is going to come off as rude. Here it is standard to do potluck, usually with the host providing the meat.
Otherwise, I would eat what is served. I eat tons of fruit and veggies, foregoing one meal is not going to hurt.
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When we are asked to dinner I always ask if I can bring anything. It is a rare occasion when I am not taken up on my offer, but even if the answer is no I still bring a bottle of wine. I can't seem to bring myself to arrive empty handed.
This thread reminded me of a situation I encountered a few months ago. A client asked me to provide dinner for a group of people, including a distinguished guest whom you would all know if I said the name. My client asked for an Italian themed dinner and I was happy to comply, spending careful time (as I always do) preparing things as authentically as possible. I had everything set up in the great dining hall of the client's home and as dinner begins I hear someone ask which of the dishes contain garlic. My heart sinks as I realize it is the guest of honor, who is apparently allergic to garlic. He has not said a word about this to anyone and apparently even a very small amount is unacceptable. The only item with zero garlic was the fresh herbs butter, bread and tiramisu. The only other food the host had to offer was an apple and some cheese, so that's what he ate. I was horrified.
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