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How does everyone else handle this? I'd like to have ONE Thanksgiving dinner and whoever can come on that day, fine. But every year I end up having several. We have one with my brother and his wife and my mom and dad the week before Thanksgiving because my sister in law always wants to be with her family on the holiday. So we have a Thanksgiving dinner with them, but then we have another Thanksgiving dinner ON Thanksgiving because my parents are in their 80s and I want them to have something to do on the holiday, plus I like having Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving, and my kids are home from college then and they like Thanksgiving at home.
Then there's my husband's side of the family too.
Unfortunately, our house isn't big enough to accommodate everybody from both sides. But I would kind of like to have one dinner ON Thanksgiving, with whoever can make it on that day, and if they have other plans then I guess we won't be having Thanksgiving with them. But then I feel like that's being mean not accommodating everyone and spending time with everyone.
Do other families have multiple Thanksgiving dinners on different days other than Thanksgiving? It's not even having turkey several times that bothers me, because sometimes we make the menu different for the non-Thanksgiving Day dinners. It's that planning and attending one Thanksgiving is already time consuming and stressful enough (and then Christmas 4 weeks later - and same thing there, multiple dinners). And it's not that it's always at my house, either because we usually have the celebration with my brother at his house.
If it weren't for my parents I'd just tell everyone I am cooking a dinner on Thanksgiving; come if you can't and if not we'll see you at Christmas (if you can make it then!)
I hope I don't sound grinchy, I just get tired every year of having to go through elaborate plans for a bunch of different celebrations and I'd like to have just one and forget it!
Maybe the rest of your family and extended family feel the same way. Do they "like" having to go to different places for mutilple dinners? Talk to them. I don't think it is unreasonable for you to want to make 1 dinner at your house. The holidays aren't supposed to be stressful. Make your dinner and invite whoever can make it. Relax, breath, and enjoy it.
My dh and I have our own meal at our own house. We get to hear all of the family fiasco through my step daughter because she has to run all over the place for the holidays. I don't envy her.
We don't have this problem anymore but when we did we talked to all the families and found out they felt the same way we did, what you are feeling now. We held our dinner at home for our kids, my in-laws and my family dropped in as the day went on. It took a lot of holiday stress away once we all broke loose of the Norman Rockwell settings. One Christmas of my elderly inlaws sitting home alone because we had early gatherings to fit another DIL's schedule did it for us. I only hope when my kids are grown they will remember to include poor old mom and dad in their own family gatherings.
I don't blame you one bit!!!! Do what YOU want -- fix Thanksgiving dinner ON Thanksgiving and whoever shows up is welcome. You shouldn't have to accommodate everyone else, especially since you're nice enough to do the dinner and invite folks!
Thanks for your thoughts, everyone! Jaxson, that's exactly what I want to avoid - my parents sitting home alone on a holiday as if no one cares about them.
Luz-I think you have to do what makes you and your immediate family happy.
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So we have a Thanksgiving dinner with them, but then we have another Thanksgiving dinner ON Thanksgiving because my parents are in their 80s and I want them to have something to do on the holiday, plus I like having Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving, and my kids are home from college then and they like Thanksgiving at home.
. I don't envy her.
