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In North America with it's vast resources - it is a decision to be rich- and a decision to be poor..>I just never wanted the responsibility of maintaining riches..>It's a lot of work.
I've never been homeless, but when our first child was born, my husband was making six dollars an hour and I (who had always been the main earner in the family) wasn't able to work. Our rent was $600, car insurance $150, electricity $100 and that left just enough for gas for work. We got WIC because I was unable to breastfeed (didn't produce any milk, don't know why) but it only covered half of what our daughter ate. We got food stamps and they gave us $105/month. That was enough to buy the other six cans of formula that our daughter needed, and left about $40/month to feed my husband and myself. When the doctor cleared me to go back to work, I couldn't get a job because I had lost my state ID and I didn't have the $25 I needed to get another one. (My boss had fired me when I had my daughter prematurely, without giving notice, and he kept my last check because I couldn't return the key to the store to him while I was in the hospital.)
It feels really bad to be that broke. I couldn't even pay for parking at the hospital when my daughter had surgery, had to explain that I couldn't afford it and get a lecture from their security guard about not pulling into their parking lot when I didn't have the money to pay for parking.
I grew up very poor. In my first marriage, he didn't like to work. I recall one instance where we had one potato between us and our young daughter so we gave it to her. Once I started working I dumped him and worked 40 years at mostly low paying jobs until the last 10 years where my wages were good. I chose to retire early at 63 and I live on my social security. All my needs are met. Remember the saying: "You are only poor if you want more than you have!"
My closest taste to what poverty was like was during 2009 - 2010.. I was unemployed after finishing grad school and could not find a job.. and at the same time, my parents were also unemployed due to the recession and could only give limited support. I rented a room in the guesthouse in the back yard of some family in the suburbs of San Jose, CA for about $500/mo (when the median rent for a 1br is easily 3x that) and could only park on the street. I also went without proper auto insurance during that time. I lived on a budget of about $1000/mo for about 9 months in one of the most expensive areas in the US. It was very nerve wrecking every time I logged on to see what my bank balance was and figuring out how long I have left to survive on my savings.
I've been spending more than during that time but not by very much as of now.. and I've saved about $50,000 since I found work in early 2010. I still drive the same car I had back then and use the same computer from that time.. only new "luxuries" I've acquired is a smartphone.
I haven't been as poor as some in this thread, but I was very poor while going through chemo. I lived in a really cruddy, falling apart 3rd floor walkup apartment with a roommate whose cat used the tub as a litter box. He wouldn't clean up after himself or his cat, so on my "off" weeks from chemo, I would spend all of my time scrubbing the apartment so I wouldn't get sick when my blood counts tanked. I couldn't afford to live alone (and still can't 2 years into remission). During that time, I often had to wash my clothes in the sink and got sick often because I couldn't afford to have the laundry service pick up my sheets as often as they needed to be changed (doctor wanted them changed twice a week). We didn't have laundry in the building and I was too weak to carry the laundry 4 blocks to the laundromat. It got upwards of 115 degrees in my apartment in the summer (often 30 degrees cooler outside!) but I couldn't afford a window A/C, and there were times in the winter where the apartment dropped to 52 degrees. All while I was dealing with Stage IV cancer and associated treatment.
I was directed by my doctor to drop work to part time, but I was only 4 months into my first post-college job and I couldn't afford to pay my medical bills even working full time. I ended up needing to buy a car I couldn't afford after charities couldn't find me rides to the hospital for treatment, and ate Ramen or pasta for most of my meals (against doctor's orders). There were prescriptions that I couldn't fill because I didn't have the money and my credit card was maxed out.
Even now, 2 years out of treatment, I struggle. Most of my clothes don't fit because the steroids during treatment and the poor diet made me balloon 60 pounds. I am 6 months late on getting a scan because I can't afford the copay.
I'm actively applying to other jobs, but need to have insurance start the DAY I begin the new job (no wait period) and cannot move to a cheaper cost of living area because my doctors are here. I'm also afraid of starting a new job and relapsing, which means that I'd be out of work for 6 months. I have no idea how I'll pay my rent if I relapse and am in isolation at a hospital and unable to work - much less pay my hospital bills or pay for medication. I've already been told by my parents that they "can't afford" to have me move back home - but they seem to afford trips to Scotland and Puerto Rico, to pay for my younger brother's wedding reception, and going out to eat a few times a month.
It seems like by defining what's "really" poor, and not "really" poor, the stage just gets set up for so-and-so's got it better, so-and-so's got it worse one-upmanship.
Financial comfortability is very subjective. Is the kid who gets free lunches at school "not poor" because he has a roof over his head? Is the kid living in squalor on an Indian reservation "not poor" if the house they share with 16 relatives has running utilities?
In North America with it's vast resources - it is a decision to be rich- and a decision to be poor..>I just never wanted the responsibility of maintaining riches..>It's a lot of work.
Unless you're a kid, and not the one making those decisions.
It seems like by defining what's "really" poor, and not "really" poor, the stage just gets set up for so-and-so's got it better, so-and-so's got it worse one-upmanship.
Financial comfortability is very subjective. Is the kid who gets free lunches at school "not poor" because he has a roof over his head? Is the kid living in squalor on an Indian reservation "not poor" if the house they share with 16 relatives has running utilities?
True, because I know that no matter how poor I feel I have been, there is always someone worse off, somewhere.
I have had plenty of instances of being broke but the only time I really felt truly poor is when I went hungry to make sure my kids could eat. Thankfully those times were short lived.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
I've never been homeless, but when our first child was born, my husband was making six dollars an hour and I (who had always been the main earner in the family) wasn't able to work. Our rent was $600, car insurance $150, electricity $100 and that left just enough for gas for work. We got WIC because I was unable to breastfeed (didn't produce any milk, don't know why) but it only covered half of what our daughter ate. We got food stamps and they gave us $105/month. That was enough to buy the other six cans of formula that our daughter needed, and left about $40/month to feed my husband and myself. When the doctor cleared me to go back to work, I couldn't get a job because I had lost my state ID and I didn't have the $25 I needed to get another one. (My boss had fired me when I had my daughter prematurely, without giving notice, and he kept my last check because I couldn't return the key to the store to him while I was in the hospital.)
It feels really bad to be that broke. I couldn't even pay for parking at the hospital when my daughter had surgery, had to explain that I couldn't afford it and get a lecture from their security guard about not pulling into their parking lot when I didn't have the money to pay for parking.
I can relate. I broke my ankle when my kids were little and my ex was not living with us at the time (though we were still married)... I remember losing it when I went to the doctor and was told that insurance was not going to cover the walking "boot" thing I needed. I had absolutely no way to pay for it and I needed it so I could go to work and move around. It was $100 or something. I begged and was able to talk the doctor's office into giving me one that day and letting me pay later.
I also remember times when I drove to the airport with my boys to put them on a plane to see their father, but didn't have money to be parked there longer than an hour so if the flight was delayed, I was screwed because they were young enough to need me to sit there until they boarded. I ended up taking a friend along who could drive the car to a free parking spot and then come back for me later. My ex hadn't paid child support in over a year but when the kids were up there there was of course plenty of money for fun stuff and I was trying to make him understand that I couldn't even afford airport hourly parking. It was ridiculous and awful.
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