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Mr. RabbitSong and I are trying to get all of our family photos and documents combined into one location. He is a packrat, and I think he came by it honestly. I don't think his mother ever threw anything away! Both of his parents have passed away, so we have a lot of STUFF!
Here's my dilemma. We know that his mother's side of the family owned slaves. Her father was the last in a long line of farmers. Being in the South, we were aware that we'd find slaves. Some of the little things we have found in her belongings are some extremely racist post-cards, posters, newspaper clippings, etc. (Think of all the little figurines showing young black children eating watermelons, Aunt Jemima, Uncle Remus, etc.) I knew my father-in-law was racist, but this is new for me. It's really tarnished my opinion of my sweet mother-in-law. I was not raised like that, and in fact, my parents made sure to point out how things were wrong. I really would love to throw these out, but he doesn't. It's a part of the past that I'd rather see gone. Mr. RabbitSong isn't racist, but because they belonged to his parents, he just doesn't want to part with them.
Any thoughts? How do you handle the not-so-great parts of your family history?
Any thoughts? How do you handle the not-so-great parts of your family history?
By accepting that it is in the past and can't be changed. And don't fixate on it to the exclusion of everything else. Also, your family history is made up of many threads, not just the lines of your FIL and MIL. Their actions are a blot, but you needn't see yourself as tarnished.
I have quite a few ancestors who were slave holders. I also have one bloodline that is noted in history books as being members of the Underground Railroad - they are responsible for directing many slaves to freedom. And another line who owned slaves and, instead of selling them, brought them to Illinois when they migrated so they could be free. All this, I have no control over. I also have a couple of murderers as direct ancestors and a few that did base things to family members - abandoning children and leaving their family to destitution. That's history, not present day events. And knowing about the unsavory parts affirms that the path I've chosen is a wiser, more humane one than many of my ancestors.
As to what to do with the items - some may be of historic import. If you have news clippings or records that you find hard to retain, see if there is a genealogy or historical society in your area that might be interested.
The figurines and such? Well, some people collect that stuff. It is classed as Black Americana Collectibles. It's saved not because the people have racist tendencies, but because it is old and a part of history.
If you and your husband continue to be at a crossroads about this, you should read this article
You can't honestly expect people from the past to have been modern-day Politically Correct.
What was the mindset of the day? Did they think/act the same way as everyone else in that time/place? Why would you expect them to think/act differently than everyone around them just because it's expected today?
Figurines that you now consider to be racist were just knickknacks from then--obviously popular or somebody wouldn't have been making them and selling them.
Genealogy should be about celebrating our history, not re-writing it.
You can't honestly expect people from the past to have been modern-day Politically Correct.
What was the mindset of the day? Did they think/act the same way as everyone else in that time/place? Why would you expect them to think/act differently than everyone around them just because it's expected today?
Figurines that you now consider to be racist were just knickknacks from then--obviously popular or somebody wouldn't have been making them and selling them.
Genealogy should be about celebrating our history, not re-writing it.
Just my two cents.
I agree with this - just because someone has something which may now been seen as politically incorrect doesn't necessarily mean that person was racist. They may not have viewed it as derogatory and may have struggled to understand why it is now considered such. That might be a little ignorant but it doesn't necessarily mean they hate black people. I hate the way the word "racism" is now thrown around to describe anyone who is merely a little ignorant about other cultures - actual racism is defined as the belief that a certain race is inferior to another. Did you ever feel that your mother-in-law felt black people were inferior to her, or to white people in general? If not, then stop worrying about it, she was the same person you remember her as.
There are African Americans who are dedicated collectors of those knickknacks that you are considering to be racist. They will pay good money for them.
I can remember ads with small black children eating huge slices of watermelon. Those were considered to be cute, not racist. It's not really a derogatory slam to call someone a watermelon eater. Neener neener, your sister eats watermelon? Not much of an insult. It's more of an insult to accuse someone of not liking watermelon, like their taste buds are defective. I've seen lots of art involving little white kids eating watermelon . I don't consider that to be horrendously racist either
There were ads of black children holding kittens, too. Again considered to be cute rather than an attempt to keep a people down.
Now, we wouldn't dare to say the words black and watermelon in the same hour for fear of hurting someone's feelings, but public attitude was different then. Maybe blacks won't eat watermelon now because it is such a racist fruit.
My dad's family is from south. He left at sixteen, and joined the navy. He's visited but the family expected him to move back and he didn't. Mom knew his family and liked his mother since for a while she stayed with them during ww2. But I only vaguely remember them except that I did meet my grandmother that trip, for the family reunion for her birthday. I was five. She died not too long after but lived into her late 80's which was old for then.
Shortly after that, George Wallace stood with a shotgun trying to keep little children out of school. Dad was outraged. He'd heard his family's sentiments so I would assume any visit would not have been pleasant, but he vowed to boycott the state until he was out of the office.
Of course he stayed for much longer, but dad didn't change his mind. He went back to visit after mom died and a couple of his brothers and a sister came out to see us and kids who'd moved to California.
But I sure would have liked to know them. I do respect Dad's choice. I don't have any nicknacks to remember them by, but I'd have been glad to know a few cousins. His family who visited were nice people too. They either had changed or were politely holding their tounges about politics.
We have to look at both the symbols and the people. Despite all the ultra sensitivity to what every word could mean, we're being encouraged to see groups of people. Maybe we should just look at PEOPLE. Whatever color/affliction/religion/region they live they are, there's a person underneath all those labels. If it's an ancestor, then there was too. See them in terms of the rules of their own society too. We all are basically 'local'.
I think its important in an unjudgemental way to look at the time and circumstances of your ancestors lives, and what they did in terms of how good and proper people were supposed to be. Someday someone will look at us and have to try to understand our values and what we make of ourselves too, and theirs may be so different they won't understand either.
You don't have to like the standards of a time to understand how those who lived in it reflect them, and you have to to really see them as people.
As for the stuff, I'd keep the letters. Nothing defines a time as well as personal letters, even if you don't like them. The curios, if you don't want them, should go to a collector.
The past is the past, I think you have been brainwashed by the media to feel guilty for something you had nothing to do with.
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