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When I talk about our grandparents' lives, my brothers always ask me how I know so much about them. The answer is, I listened when they talked to me and asked questions. I found their lives as they became American citizens, struggled with money, and lived through several wars to be very interesting. But many, many young people have less than no interest in their elders. I suspect it's always been this way since there was no such escape as smartphones when my brothers were young.
I notice now, as I have aged, that my nieces and nephews NEVER ask me questions about ANYTHING — my opinions or my present circumstances, let alone my past. I could dye my hair green or leave the room with the excuse that I have to make a phone call to the president and they wouldn't even notice. I think I've had a rather interesting life. I've traveled a lot and I've been present more than one event that they've learned about in history classes. But they couldn't be less interested. Any conversation where they are present is always directed to them. If it's not, they get up and leave the room or, worse yet, get out their phones and drop out of group conversation.
And please don't accuse me of millennial-bashing. I also bashed my own siblings and they are hardly millennials.
I think it is a kid thing. My grandfather was German yet as a kid I never asked him about his family. It wasn't that I wasn't interested, it was that I didn't know enough to be interested. Circumstances of his leaving his family were also hard so I think he didn't want to talk about it so he never did. If he did, I am sure I would have listened. Same goes on the Irish side. They never discussed it and as a kid I never thought of even asking. My dad, later in life started to talk about as much as he knew but it wasn't much. After he died I found out everything about his side of the family. It was too bad I couldn't find out more before. I did find out some stuff for my mother, even about her German father based on what little she knew, and her asking her sister if she had anything and finding out she had some pretty interesting stuff she never shared. If you are doing research now, share what you find. I created a blog for family with some interesting stories I found so that if they are interested, they can read. I also had a book made of the blog for my brother's 50th birthday as he is the last of the family name that goes straight back to the 1600's.
My wife's family came over on the Mayflower, but they didn't make it until the third trip. They were the Aldens. It's a big deal in the Mayflower Society. There are first trippers, second trippers and third trippers. The other side of her family were part owners of the ship. They owned the Mayflower! They were the Thurbers. Legend says that the Mayflower was blown ashore in Holland and was scavenged. She was near the end of her life before the first Pilgrim voyage. Most wooden ships back then had relatively short lives simply due to rot.
She was a freighter, mostly along the coasts of England, Scotland, Denmark, Belgium and France. Bear in mind that people swim from England to France. For that small crew and passengers to attempt an Atlantic crossing took great courage.The ship was 80 to 90 feet long and blunt. I went aboard the Mayflower II and met Captain Alan Villiers. Compared to today's sailing ships, the Mayflower handled poorly On that little ship there was a crew of about 30, about 120 passengers and their animals.
The passengers knew that they were going to depend on each other and they drew up a plan or an agreement. It was called the "Compact".
Last edited by in_newengland; 04-02-2018 at 08:02 PM..
Reason: No politics.And the Mayflower Compact spoke of loyalty to God, to England, and to future establishment of laws.
Mine didn't. They all came from terrible situations in Europe (they were Jewish, during the late 19th / turn of the 20th century and came from Eastern Europe... not a good time in history). The Jewish populations of their hometowns were decimated in WWII. I'm guessing that survivor guilt and a desire to assimilate kept them from telling their stories.
I guess I come from a family that talks about family history cause they knew everything. And the oral histories in my family have almost always proven to be correct. Even the craziest stories that I didn't take seriously - except for the standard indian myth. Nope, nobody was Indian.
It interesting watching some of those Genealogy Documentaries like Who do You Think You Are?. Finding Your roots and Amerasian American Lives and seeing how many Celebs (especially African Americans due to slavery) did not know much beyond really most of their Great-Grandparents. This seems to especially be true in older African Amerindians.
Sometimes I'm surprised at how uninformed some of these celebs appear just generally about history. I can see not having information going back four generations but they should at least know a basic historical outline of US history. I wonder if they are dumbing it down for the sake of the entertainment value. Gee whiz -- grandpa was in WW-I. Holy Cow -- there was a Mexican War? Who knew?
By contrast, go to YouTube and watch the UK or even Australian versions of Who Do You Think You Are. They go into greater detail and cover the whole British Empire. I'm constantly learning new information because they explore the background and motivations of some of the people. For example - Why would an Irish nationalist, trained and willing to fight for Irish independence, willingly go off to fight for the UK in WW-I in France and get himself killed? Because Britain was making deals to support Irish home rule if the Irish supported the war effort. Fighting "the Huns" was a way of gaining home rule...or so they thought.
Back to the topic of talking to past generations, I think there were some negative things people just didn't talk about. I'm in a group with some of my great grandparents siblings descendants. It's well known that some of my direct line got in trouble with the law. I posted an article about a person that appears to be their direct relative. Instant denial. The name and timing and even relative location work. I think their closet has some skeletons that haven't been discovered yet. It'snot worth making someone mad about, but I don't discount it either.
For the last year, I have been asking my only living great-grandmother (Maternal Grandfather mother) question about her Childhood, Parents, Siblings and some Family history questions. It has been very interesting as I have learned some things that I had never known about before or things I never heard before. She has answered all my questions the best she can as she is almost 92 and her memory is fading so some things she can't remember or don't know but she still has answered a lot of questions I have asked her.
My Family has always been very open when it comes to talking about our Family History and sharing stories and memories of dead relatives. A lot of our Family 'secrets' and 'skeletons' are out there but not always necessarily talk about. It really depends on what it is and who the person is.
One of the most interesting things I have learned from my great-grandmother during the last year was the story about her Mother having a nervous breakdown and that being why she had to leave school in 6th grade to take care of her younger brother and sister and her Mom. all these years and I had never heard that story before. It was interesting because I have heard a lot of fo stories about my great-great-grandmother but I never heard that one before.
Yes, some Families are more open when it comes to talking about Family History and Deceased Relatives.
I think it is a kid thing. My grandfather was German yet as a kid I never asked him about his family. It wasn't that I wasn't interested, it was that I didn't know enough to be interested. Circumstances of his leaving his family were also hard so I think he didn't want to talk about it so he never did. If he did, I am sure I would have listened...
There was also a lot of anti-German sentiment during World War I an World War II. Many people with German ancestry covered up and hid their backgrounds. It was safer that way. Is it possible that your grandfather's family did this as a survival mechanism? Many German-Americans feared that the government would actually build internment camps and round them up like they did to the Japanese during WWII.
My grandmother told me stories about her father, who immigrated from Holland around 1915, shortly after the start of WWI. He was the baby of the family, and everyone in Holland feared that the Germans would invade their country. (The Germans did not invade the Netherlands during WWI). My great-grandfather was actually too scared to wander too far from his neighbor during WWII. He was afraid that someone would mistake him for a German because he spoke English with a thick accent that sounded somewhat German. (He was fluent in Flemish, French, German, and English, like most Dutchmen.)
There was also a lot of anti-German sentiment during World War I an World War II. Many people with German ancestry covered up and hid their backgrounds. It was safer that way. Is it possible that your grandfather's family did this as a survival mechanism? Many German-Americans feared that the government would actually build internment camps and round them up like they did to the Japanese during WWII.
My grandmother told me stories about her father, who immigrated from Holland around 1915, shortly after the start of WWI. He was the baby of the family, and everyone in Holland feared that the Germans would invade their country. (The Germans did not invade the Netherlands during WWI). My great-grandfather was actually too scared to wander too far from his neighbor during WWII. He was afraid that someone would mistake him for a German because he spoke English with a thick accent that sounded somewhat German. (He was fluent in Flemish, French, German, and English, like most Dutchmen.)
That's interesting. My great and great great grandparents in one line came from Germany. There is always the clarification that they are "Luxembourg German". There is one line that did come from Luxembourg, but they assimilated into the German community and became 'German'. My grandfather was born in this country, but had the German accent. As far as I can tell they have never denied being German.
Neither one of my parents (white) ever talked about their families or ancestors. When I was young, I had to pry information from my mother, and she gave it sparingly. She did seem to know about her ancestors, but I guess she didn't find it interesting enough to share without being specifically and repeatedly asked about it. My dad never, ever spoke to us kids about his family. What little I learned about his family was from eavesdropping while he and my mother were chatting about family matters.
They were so tight-lipped about their family histories, it seemed like they were hiding something and, for a long time, I questioned whether my parents might actually be cousins and they didn't want us to know about it. But no, once I started digging into our ancestry, I realized they were not related. I got a little "whew" out of that.
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