Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
the difference was our ancestors knew it was wrong and there was shame associated with it.
This^^^. Back "then" if a woman got pregnant the couple usually got married. My mother and both her sisters were pregnant when they got married as was my husband's first wife and his sister although it was kept pretty hush hush back then. In my case, I was born 5 months after my parents got married. Came 3 weeks early so I'm sure some eyebrows were raised.
These days there appears to be no shame in anything and everything goes. Numerous babies with different daddy's? No problem, let's throw you another baby shower.
Will also note, I have found lots of relatives born out of wedlock. It was not common but not unheard of either. One of my great grandfathers was born out of wedlock to a teen mom right after the turn of the 20th century.
My grandfather was born into a "shotgun" marriage. His parents divorced within a year and his mom abandoned him.
I think times change and people just don't think getting married is as beneficial for children when the parents don't want to be together. Just different IMO and not necessarily everything goes.
But I will note that in my family if you have kids close together and/or of the same gender as the previous kid, you don't get a baby shower lol.
There were no children born of rape or incest back in the day, either.
Can I assume you're being sarcastic here, because that was certainly not the case. Rape and incest have existed throughout the centuries, and were definitely present in the 1800's and the past century in this country - it just may have not been talked about as much. But it certainly did exist.
I'll add that in a lot of ways older American culture valued hiding things rather than dealing with things that were social stigmas. I found out long after my maternal grandfather died that he not only was abusive but he slept around and was widely known to do so (apparently my grandmother's brothers roughed him up once for that). My mother in her 40s-50s she met a half brother for the first time and she probably has more half siblings out there (and I have half-uncles/aunts out there).
Apparently some neighbors to my grandmother knew some of the specifics but never told her about it, since often back then abuse and elicit behavior was not actively stopped, it was hidden. Basically public image and avoiding divorce was more important to many than abuse.
Additionally I have heard stories of male ancestors who for multiple generations violated their daughters. Again something that was kept secret and the society in general valued an image of values over the reality of values.
These days there's often a value on transparency, on not hiding things, and in the case of abuse of encouraging women to not have to put up with it. Of encouraging children to speak out about violation.
People are the same then and now, they do the same things, the culture around them is all that changes.
Two of My Great-Grandfather's Cheated on My Great-Grandmother's and My Maternal Grandpa Paternal Grandfather also Cheated. I have a few great-Uncles who also cheated. I sure there was others but I just haven't heard about it yet.
Cheating is more common among men overall and always has been,
But there also been plenty of Promiscuous Women on My Maternal Grandpa Maternal. My Great-Grandma Cheated (One of reason she got Divorced. She ended up Pregnant with Future Second Husband child) as did her Mother before her and Two of her Daughters (My Great-Aunts) also had a Affair that led to their Divorce. A couple of My Great-Grandma Sisters (My Great-Great aunts) also had cheated hough One Sister Husband had already deserted her. Both ended up divorcing also. That side of the family is rampant with adultery whether it was by the Husband or Wife.
Both side of My Grandpa Tree is actually filled with Unfaithfulness. though I can say My Grandpa has never Cheated
Women have always had Affairs even then just like Men but they know how to hide it... Most of the time
Last edited by NorthwestResident; 02-21-2017 at 01:05 PM..
There were a few cheaters that I know about. One male relative went off to WWII and sent his wife a letter that he was sleeping with other women and it was ok for her to sleep with other men while he was gone. She got pregnant with another man's baby while he was gone. He came back and raised the baby as his own. The child just found out about her biological dad a few years back. She got to meet the other man before he died.
I know of another relative where the man went to jail for a while. He was a farmer and the wife needed help with the crops so she asked the man's other brother for help. The older brother said he would only help the wife if she slept with him. She felt helpless and had a lot of mouths to feed. A baby resulted and was treated like total crap by the husband. He was an abusive man. The wife finally divorced him several years later. I know the story, but don't know who else knows it. I think the siblings may think he is a full blooded brother. I'm not interfering.
One of my lines is an outlaw line that claims to have been related to at least one famous outlaw and acted like outlaws at times too. We've got moonshine,shootings, murder, bank robbing, Baldknobbers, and general robbery as a part of the family story. It was embarrassing and a hardship in my grandfather's younger life. My grandfather wouldn't share information because of it. My grandfather has now passed. I'm writing the story. The story looks much harsher if you don't know the background or history of the time.
There were a few cheaters that I know about. One male relative went off to WWII and sent his wife a letter that he was sleeping with other women and it was ok for her to sleep with other men while he was gone. She got pregnant with another man's baby while he was gone. He came back and raised the baby as his own. The child just found out about her biological dad a few years back. She got to meet the other man before he died.
I know of another relative where the man went to jail for a while. He was a farmer and the wife needed help with the crops so she asked the man's other brother for help. The older brother said he would only help the wife if she slept with him. She felt helpless and had a lot of mouths to feed. A baby resulted and was treated like total crap by the husband. He was an abusive man. The wife finally divorced him several years later. I know the story, but don't know who else knows it. I think the siblings may think he is a full blooded brother. I'm not interfering.
One of my lines is an outlaw line that claims to have been related to at least one famous outlaw and acted like outlaws at times too. We've got moonshine,shootings, murder, bank robbing, Baldknobbers, and general robbery as a part of the family story. It was embarrassing and a hardship in my grandfather's younger life. My grandfather wouldn't share information because of it. My grandfather has now passed. I'm writing the story. The story looks much harsher if you don't know the background or history of the time.
I have a Baldknobber ancestor as well. Thomas K Jones who resided in Christian County, Missouri. His brother Amos Y Jones was married to the daughter of the Christian Co. head and he was present during the murder of Charles Greene and William Edens, he was sentenced to many years in prison (years later commuted at the request of the community and including an original jurist).
I was never told any of this, though I found court records "US vs. Thomas K Jones" and that started me down the path.
I have a Baldknobber ancestor as well. Thomas K Jones who resided in Christian County, Missouri. His brother Amos Y Jones was married to the daughter of the Christian Co. head and he was present during the murder of Charles Greene and William Edens, he was sentenced to many years in prison (years later commuted at the request of the community and including an original jurist).
I was never told any of this, though I found court records "US vs. Thomas K Jones" and that started me down the path.
I just recently learned of it through an extended cousin who was a grandchild of the Baldknobber. I'm not a descendent. This guy was a failed Baldknobber. Lol! Apparently, the Baldknobbers were originally a religious organization. This guy cheated on his wife and was hanging out with the Baldknobbers. The Baldknobbers got after him because of the cheating. The sheriff was after him because he was involved with the Baldknobbers. The sheriff found him first and gave him the chance to go back to his wife. I guess things died down with Baldknobbers after that too.
I'm assuming if this relative was a Baldknobber, there were others. So far he is the only 'personality' I have from this portion of the family. The rest are names and dates.
This^^^. Back "then" if a woman got pregnant the couple usually got married. My mother and both her sisters were pregnant when they got married as was my husband's first wife and his sister although it was kept pretty hush hush back then. In my case, I was born 5 months after my parents got married. Came 3 weeks early so I'm sure some eyebrows were raised.
These days there appears to be no shame in anything and everything goes. Numerous babies with different daddy's? No problem, let's throw you another baby shower.
I always worked so I never saw daytime TV, but one time I was home recovering for a few weeks with knee surgery, and I saw that stupid Maury show where they do the pregnancy tests to verify who the father is.
This guy thinks his wife cheated and their baby is really her old boyfriend's kid. So, they test the husband, and sure enough, the kid isn't his. Then they test the boyfriend...and it's not HIS kid, either. The wife bursts into tears, leaps up, and runs off stage, cameras following, sobbing and sobbing. Um...when you went on this TV show KNOWING that you were porking AT LEAST a THIRD guy...you didn't think this might be a possibility? I wanted to reach through the TV and give her something to REALLY cry about, as my father used to say. Not for being a pig. I don't care if you let the Army in. For being STUPID.
How could somebody watch that show more than one day?
I just recently learned of it through an extended cousin who was a grandchild of the Baldknobber. I'm not a descendent. This guy was a failed Baldknobber. Lol! Apparently, the Baldknobbers were originally a religious organization. This guy cheated on his wife and was hanging out with the Baldknobbers. The Baldknobbers got after him because of the cheating. The sheriff was after him because he was involved with the Baldknobbers. The sheriff found him first and gave him the chance to go back to his wife. I guess things died down with Baldknobbers after that too.
I'm assuming if this relative was a Baldknobber, there were others. So far he is the only 'personality' I have from this portion of the family. The rest are names and dates.
An interesting story! yeah, the Baldknobbers are roughly classified as a post-Civil War vigilante gang. Most of them were pro-Union (or children of pro-Union families) and they tried to enforce the social order (which at the time and place meant religious). They were known to rough up wife and child abusers, burn down saloons, etc. Taney and Christian Counties in Missouri were two of the hotspots, though it spread from there (Taney being where it started), though they were run by different groups and the Christian Co, GA group were the more notorious ones. They were iconified with some of them wearing horned hoods. They weren't always so benevolent though, they chased away homesteaders and others for somewhat personal interest at times.
I can imagine it didn't go well that he cheated on his wife and hung out with them lol.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But it certainly did exist.
