Is leaving worth the costs? (jobs, rental, expensive, move to)

[midwestmom]

I've seen a few posts on people who hate the place they've landed even to the point of feeling you're jinxed there. What I'm curious about is if you have moved on, looking back do you think it was worth it to lose money to leave?

We hate it here for a few reasons and we knew we were taking a bit of a gamble in that we weren't sure we'd like a bigger city. We don't. And have a list of other things we don't like. Planned to move at the end of our lease.
But..everyone in our family hates our jobs with a passion, our rental is already freezing cold (make note - Don't live where heat vents are near ceiling) it's expensive and we're all getting very stressed and depressed living here. Even when we first arrived, my gut was telling me a specific family member was in harms way here - I know..just a feeling like the hair standing up on the back on your neck which I've been trying to ignore. I only mention it because this was before we hated our jobs and our rental. You can only take that into consideration so far. So, we had picked another place that we intended to visit first and see what we thought, if we liked it, we'd move there later.
There is an option to leave before our lease ends - penalty is roughly 4 months rent. Which would mean we couldn't visit the other place first.
We have researched and are 90% sure we'd do better and like it more there.

Another option is to move to another small city in our present state on a short lease which would be easier to visit/find a home. Then we would have the time to visit and see if we wanted to move to the 90% place permanently. It could be that we'd be fine staying here in a smaller city, other jobs, etc. and would change our minds about the 90% place - we haven't seen it after all. I've had moves that have gone both ways when its sight unseen.
I can't seem to shake the feeling that we need to leave where we live now - 4 months rent is a lot to lose but I'm wondering if its worth the depression and high stress we're all feeling to wait it out here another 7 months.

[marimo]

maybe you could find someone to take on your lease.

[MrRational]

Originally Posted by midwestmom

What I'm curious about is if you have moved on, looking back...
do you think it was worth it to lose money to leave?

For those who did well/better financially... that will usually be a "yes"
For those who didn't and/or have more complicated family/friend issues...
that answer will probably not be a "yes" quite so often; if at all.

Originally Posted by midwestmom

We hate it here ...
...we weren't sure we'd like a bigger city.
...have a list of other things we don't like.

...everyone in our family hates our jobs with a passion,
...our rental is already freezing cold
...we're all getting very stressed and depressed living here.

It could be that we'd be fine staying here in a smaller city...
...are 90% sure we'd do better and like it more there.

...my gut was telling me a specific family member was in harms way here - I know...
I can't seem to shake the feeling that we need to leave where we live now

Planned to move at the end of our lease...
...option to leave before our lease ends -penalty...4 months rent.
...wondering if its worth the depression and high stress
...to wait it out here another 7 months.

Within all that back and forth text you said at one point: "We have researched and..."

I'll suggest that you find someone (local and in person) to help you with doing or reviewing this research...
and to separate the factual stuff from the emotional stuff that is overwhelming your thoughts.

hth

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by midwestmom

I've seen a few posts on people who hate the place they've landed even to the point of feeling you're jinxed there. What I'm curious about is if you have moved on, looking back do you think it was worth it to lose money to leave?

We hate it here for a few reasons and we knew we were taking a bit of a gamble in that we weren't sure we'd like a bigger city. We don't. And have a list of other things we don't like. Planned to move at the end of our lease.
But..everyone in our family hates our jobs with a passion, our rental is already freezing cold (make note - Don't live where heat vents are near ceiling) it's expensive and we're all getting very stressed and depressed living here. Even when we first arrived, my gut was telling me a specific family member was in harms way here - I know..just a feeling like the hair standing up on the back on your neck which I've been trying to ignore. I only mention it because this was before we hated our jobs and our rental. You can only take that into consideration so far. So, we had picked another place that we intended to visit first and see what we thought, if we liked it, we'd move there later.
There is an option to leave before our lease ends - penalty is roughly 4 months rent. Which would mean we couldn't visit the other place first.
We have researched and are 90% sure we'd do better and like it more there.

Another option is to move to another small city in our present state on a short lease which would be easier to visit/find a home. Then we would have the time to visit and see if we wanted to move to the 90% place permanently. It could be that we'd be fine staying here in a smaller city, other jobs, etc. and would change our minds about the 90% place - we haven't seen it after all. I've had moves that have gone both ways when its sight unseen.
I can't seem to shake the feeling that we need to leave where we live now - 4 months rent is a lot to lose but I'm wondering if its worth the depression and high stress we're all feeling to wait it out here another 7 months.

I moved from Northern VA (a place I hated) and left behind a stable job and ended up in 8 months of underemployment and unemployment. I would have done it again. The stress there was unbearable and I was just near my breakin point. Leaving saved my sanity and there are some things you can't put a price on.

[jasper12]

There are some things you can't put a monetary value on. If it is something you need to do, make it happen.