Need advice! To move or stay put??? (jobs, climate, move back)
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I'll try to make this as brief as possible. I am really struggling with a decision to move. I've lived in the same town for 40 years (except for three short move stints in my 20s where I always came back homesick). When I was in my 30s I daydreamed about places to move to, starting a new life somewhere, struggling with what to do with my life. I got married and for about 10 years was pretty content. Other than some brief discussions about future possible moves, we were settled in and rooted here and everything was great. Then the divorce comes and I find myself single again, and the same old thing. Daydreaming of moving away, starting fresh. The first part of my daydreams came from the desire to escape, or basically run away from my anger over the divorce. I got over that, then had a desire to move out of sheer thrill or just a change of pace and gave notice last year then chickened out again and stayed. After only a couple months of deciding to stay, I realized I still had, or had again, a yearning to move away.
Now the difference between now and my 20s is I've had my current job for 11 years. I did obtain my bachelor's last year so I am more marketable job wise, but overall I feel like I make on average 30-50% more at my current job than is advertised for my job in a majority of cities. That might seem like an obvious answer, why would I take a pay cut, but how do I get rid of the desire to move somewhere and start over so bad???
I guess my fear is if I move, and am miserable, or realize I made a huge mistake, I'm afraid of the potential depression that may come from that. If I leave I cannot come back to my job. But if I stay, I'm afraid I will continue to waste my life away thinking about what could have been.
The other major problem is my boss has asked I give him six months notice. I know this seems ridiculous, but we are a small company and I really am the only one who knows how to do my job, and it encompasses so much that it would take a good three months to thoroughly train someone to be on their own. Yes, I understand this is poor business practice as far as my boss is concerned, but that's not what I want to focus on. The problem is I cannot apply for jobs before I give notice, like most people would obtain a job first, then give two weeks' notice. I would have to give notice, then start looking for jobs from out of state when I have a month or so left, or wait and move then get a job.
I would of course have money saved up to live on...and the possibility of me failing at finding a job is very low, although it may not pay as well. So of course I've done all the pro and cons lists I can think of and it just doesn't help. And I think of special fun things I can get myself, or do such as travel more, etc. to feel more content here, but the nagging feeling of wanting to move won't go away.
Then I read threads on here about people who've moved away and are miserable, or they move and move back to where they came from because they made a mistake. Of course I could always move back here, but again, I will be giving up this great paying job that I will not get back nor could I get a new job making that amount. But then I read about people who have "corporate" lives, making tons of money, and they give it all up to move to an island or a small town for their mental health. So it's not like staying at the better paying job is the ultimate answer.
I know I'm rambling...I don't know if this is considered a mid-life crisis, or normal or ??? I guess hearing some experiences from others who have followed their gut and moved and are happy, or not even would really help. And if I do stay, how do I get over the yearning to leave?
Ooh I was hoping you would chime in! I understand what you're saying here...but honestly I don't have either right now! What's the third??? I'm no longer "running away" from anything here, but have nothing to go to. Just wanting something different!!!
After reading more of the threads tonight I'm thinking a good plan may be to keep life adventurous by taking some vacations to several places I'm interested in...and see if any of them call me to drop everything and move there. If no place really speaks to me...I guess I'm already where I need to be. There's no timeline for me...I need to get past the instant gratification needs in my life.
Vacations are a great idea - maybe all you need is a change of pace & scenery.
But why not just move out of town ? Are there other towns within commutable distance to your job? Is it too great a distance to the next viable town r towns ? Sometimes just a different drive to work, new stores, new streets, new people is just as good as moving cross country. In other words, can you stay in the same general area but away from the all too familiar.
In today's economic climate, I sure wouldn't move unless it was for career advancement and a chance at a much larger pay check. To move just for the heck of it, while taking a huge pay cut is not a good idea.
We're all responsible for our own retirements now. Adding to , not subtracting from Social Security pay ins and retirement funds is the way to go.
Seriously consider a vacation or two a year to an exotic local and check into moving out of your comfort zone but still within reach of your job. Good luck
Do you have friends in other places your possibly interested in? Other questions to take into consideration are family and children if you have any. I agree with traveling. I don't think I could move far enough away to leave my friends and family, but we did move about 40 minutes from or old house and it is a whole new experience.
Long story short... there are two basic types of moves:
1) Something real and substantial to go to.
2) Something to get away from
The first type tends to work out better.
There is a third type of move. It is called "the grass is greener on the other side". It is when you are not trying to run away from what you have, and you have nothing set up to go to. I recognize it as I have experienced it most of my life. This is what I see happening here. It is not just a midlife crisis; it can happen at any stage in life when one thinks that a more exciting life is out there SOMEWHERE, not just better job opportunities. Unless you are in a high demand field, have a trust fund, or are independently wealthy, this is a very dangerous way to think in the year 2014. To act this way back in the 1960's when jobs were plentiful everywhere, no problem.
There are two clues here that tell us that you have a good employment opportunity right now, you make more than others doing the same job in other places, and your boss needs a six month notice. If I were you I wouldn't move unless a good employment opportunity came along where I wanted to be, unless you have the money to survive without working, or are in that very high demand field.
You will feel a lot better if you take vacations, short or long, to interesting places you want to visit. It may open your eyes to new opportunities, or it may just make you appreciate how good you have it where you are. Either way it will add a lot to your life that you are not experiencing now and will make you feel better about what you have.
Do NOT move to some other place without having a suitable job offer in hand, without visiting your potential new location for more than a few days, and without seriously investigating the actual cost of living there.
Willow Wind and james777 both offer good advice. This is not the 1960s or even the 1990s.
The bigger question is do you know where you want to go? There's a difference between wanting to move to a specific location and just wanting to move.
Have you ever taken a vacation to travel?
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