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Old 06-03-2016, 08:22 AM
 
2,020 posts, read 1,932,506 times
Reputation: 3390

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Sunshine 341 View Post
Hi everyone, thank you for your concern. It's been two months and I still live with regret and what have we done. I know weather is not everything but who trades warm sunny weather for snow? It's just too extreme; weather wise and culture. All of my children are beyond age 5 so that knocks me out of Mom's Groups. I still miss everything about our former lives, our church, neighborhood, I must have had at least 50 acquaintances. It's so hard to start all over again but know I have to for my husbands and kids' sake, they are not missing anything about our former life, they have moved on. If I could take it all back I would and would move back in a heartbeat because the grass is not greener up here like I thought. When planning the move I was looking through rose colored glasses and seeing what we would gain by moving here, but in reality you are more affected by what you lose and I feel like we lost more moving here. This is what I cannot get over considering the losses were huge. Our mortgage, taxes, daycare are outrageous!!! My vehicle will show wear and tear sooner being in all the winter snow. I am still super stressed over this and know I sound very winey, I will own that.
It would be a bigger problem if hubby and kids hated the new place too but if they actually like the new place I'm sure that would help your transition. Perhaps focus less on yourself and be happy your family likes the new place, since that is what family is, you make sacrifices for family. Not trying to be insensitive but the silver lining is your family seems to like it there and eventually you could too?

Last edited by fumbling; 06-03-2016 at 08:31 AM..

 
Old 06-03-2016, 08:54 AM
 
4 posts, read 4,128 times
Reputation: 13
It is a blessing that kids and hubby have transitioned so well. If I could stop missing everything and everyone from our former life I really think I could move on. They are certainly not missing anything. Yes, I do work outside the home but summer day care will take the majority of my check, where as before where we lived it was very reasonable. We are hoping the more people we meet, maybe they will have someone who is cheaper. I just think we had it made where we lived before and was too stupid to realize it, this is what I beat myself up about. Both hubby and I were open to leaving though and he is getting valuable work experience.
 
Old 06-03-2016, 09:16 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,070 posts, read 14,368,613 times
Reputation: 36806
Quote:
Originally Posted by N.Cal View Post
My job relocated me from Northern California to Tennessee. It is been four years and I still am not entirely happy about it. The first two years were awful and if I hadn't signed contract I probably would've gone back. Slowly it gets better but you just have to give it time.

Good luck.

Man, do I ever feel your pain--having done the same in years past!
 
Old 06-03-2016, 11:00 AM
 
125 posts, read 104,617 times
Reputation: 299
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Sunshine 341 View Post
Hi everyone, thank you for your concern. It's been two months and I still live with regret and what have we done. I know weather is not everything but who trades warm sunny weather for snow? It's just too extreme; weather wise and culture. All of my children are beyond age 5 so that knocks me out of Mom's Groups. I still miss everything about our former lives, our church, neighborhood, I must have had at least 50 acquaintances. It's so hard to start all over again but know I have to for my husbands and kids' sake, they are not missing anything about our former life, they have moved on. If I could take it all back I would and would move back in a heartbeat because the grass is not greener up here like I thought. When planning the move I was looking through rose colored glasses and seeing what we would gain by moving here, but in reality you are more affected by what you lose and I feel like we lost more moving here. This is what I cannot get over considering the losses were huge. Our mortgage, taxes, daycare are outrageous!!! My vehicle will show wear and tear sooner being in all the winter snow. I am still super stressed over this and know I sound very winey, I will own that.
As someone who has lived up north all his life, with the exception of the military bringing me to Texas for a few years and a small stint in California... It's a bit bittersweet. I thought I would like the "perfect" weather all the time, constant sun, constant t-shirt weather. For me, it was awful, every day felt exactly the same and it felt like time was never passing. You can still go outside if it's overcast, you can still go outside if it's cold and snowy, you just have to dress for the weather. The weather keeps life interesting, keeps time passing, keeps people strong. You have to have a bit of skill to drive in the snow and ice, that helps keep an active mind. Snow won't do a lick of damage to your vehicle, not like hurricanes will. The road salt is what causes the damage; during times of slush and heavy snowfall, go through a quick car wash WITH UNDERBODY WASH about once a week and your car will be just fine. I've never owned a vehicle that was a rust bucket underneath and I keep my cars at a minimum of 5+ years.

The north has always been more expensive than the southern part of the US. I don't how you missed that if you did even a little bit of research before moving.

Honestly it sounds like you are just missing having so many friends and you are letting that make you hate everything else about it to justify it being a mistake and wanting to move back.
 
Old 06-03-2016, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Oregon, formerly Texas
5,413 posts, read 3,725,158 times
Reputation: 9171
I'm going on 3.5 years after a major move and am only just feeling like it's home. Sort of.

I suspect the real problem is that the spouse was the primary reason for the move.
 
Old 06-03-2016, 12:32 PM
 
4 posts, read 4,128 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by redguard57 View Post
I'm going on 3.5 years after a major move and am only just feeling like it's home. Sort of.

I suspect the real problem is that the spouse was the primary reason for the move.
No, not at all. We were both very open to relocating. I am baffled by my feelings, but we did go extreme, from the south to the north, so that is why I feel it's been hard. Wish I could have predicted this but figured since I was raised up north it would be an easy transition.
 
Old 06-03-2016, 02:07 PM
 
3,410 posts, read 3,196,136 times
Reputation: 3848
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Sunshine 341 View Post
Hi everyone, thank you for your concern. It's been two months and I still live with regret and what have we done. I know weather is not everything but who trades warm sunny weather for snow? It's just too extreme; weather wise and culture. All of my children are beyond age 5 so that knocks me out of Mom's Groups. I still miss everything about our former lives, our church, neighborhood, I must have had at least 50 acquaintances. It's so hard to start all over again but know I have to for my husbands and kids' sake, they are not missing anything about our former life, they have moved on. If I could take it all back I would and would move back in a heartbeat because the grass is not greener up here like I thought. When planning the move I was looking through rose colored glasses and seeing what we would gain by moving here, but in reality you are more affected by what you lose and I feel like we lost more moving here. This is what I cannot get over considering the losses were huge. Our mortgage, taxes, daycare are outrageous!!! My vehicle will show wear and tear sooner being in all the winter snow. I am still super stressed over this and know I sound very winey, I will own that.
How much do you pay for after school care (I assume that's what it is since all your kids are over 5)?
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