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OLDTRADER- I'm not sure if I follow you. So because one jerk outsider acted inappropriately, you believe that everyone who moves to another place should aromatically assimilate to the place they've moved?
What about immigrants to migrate to another country? How much should they be expected to assimilate so that they don't offend the locals, yet keep to their own traditions?
I don't think that most people would ever try to get someone to change their personal traditions, and people can vote how they want, it's their right.
I think the problem is when people move somewhere and try to force their traditions and politics on the natives who have always lived there, so actually the opposite of what you described in that it's not the natives forcing the newbies to change, but the newbies trying to force their ways on the natives.
This sort of sums it up nicely: I was in a restaurant in South Carolina a few weeks ago and there was the cutest little old lady wearing a pink t-shirt that said on the back of it "We don't care how Y'ALL do it up north!
Throughout many of these boards I see one claim that is often made by certain people who are from rural areas that attract city-birds. They say, "These people from Boston like to move to New Hampshire and try to change things to the way of the place they just left. If you're going to do things your way, stay home!" **I only used NH and Boston because I hear that more often because that's where I'm from. I've you could easily replace New Hampshire and Boston with LA and Oregon or New York and Vermont.
I can certainly understand why rural folk would want to keep the lifestyle they love. However, what is a person to do if they love the outdoors, the trees and friendly people but still want to keep a little of their lives from back home? I hear it more from (now I'm using these terms very loosely) conservatives from New Hampshire who seem to want Mass transplants to vote the same way as the locals! Does that mean if I move to conservative state, I can no longer for dem?
You are like a planet in the solar system. The sun doesn't revolve around you. It's your job to fit in, not change everyone else and it's not just "rural folk," either who think that way.
Have you ever wondered why you need to escape your state to find what you want someplace else?
You are like a planet in the solar system. The sun doesn't revolve around you. It's your job to fit in, not change everyone else and it's not just "rural folk," either who think that way.
Have you ever wondered why you need to escape your state to find what you want someplace else?
I'm not escaping anything. I'm trying to find the balance between wanting change and letting things be. I know that if I move somewhere it is not up to the locals to change to satisfy my needs. I may need to change to be understood to them. However, I am still a human being who was raised a certain way with certain inherent morals. I may prefer the countryside, but hate the prevailing conservative ideology in a particular rural area. It's a gray area to say the least.
I am a transplant (came here years ago) and have been accepted as a local. It was easy for me as I share pretty much the local, conservative views and enjoy the way of life around here. Though I have been accepted, I'm sure when I die, my obituary will read where I'm from originally from even though that area is a long gone part of my past life.
Though this area is a major tourist area in the summer month's, in the winter it becomes similar to the outlying towns as part of small town America. Even in the height of the tourist season, most places I go to are local oriented and I can easily avoid the hustle of the tourists.
The thing is, here as in many similar areas, is a laid back atmosphere. People are a bit slower paced and there will be those from the big city who move here and complain about it. They will never be accepted as more then a transplant.
Waiting for service at a restaurant, just sit back and enjoy your drink! Your food will get there!.
Small talk in front of you at the grocery store. Suck it up and relax! It's only a small moment of your precious time!
Hunting season starts in September and in one way or another will go through April. You will see dead deer in the back of trucks. Deal with it. You will see people in camo carrying guns on the side of the road walking into the woods/fields! Deal with it! It's been a way of life around here for years and when goose and duck season comes in it will sound like WWIII if your anywhere near water. It is what it is. Don't move here (or any place like it) and try to change it.
It is agricultural. You will get stuck behind combines and tractors on the highways. You'll still lose less time then if stuck behind an accident on some cities beltway so suck it up and enjoy the drive. Might even see an eagle or some deer!
If your views of things are different, but you still like the area you move to, don't be vocal in your beliefs and state how you wish things were different. Enjoy. And talk about, the aspects you like. If your an anti gun/anti hunting liberal who happens to like nature and you happen to be out among a group of hunters. Talk to them about where to view wildlife and what you can expect to see in the area.
Instead of complaining about the farming practices and smells, go to a roadside stand and buy some tasty tomatoes and sweet corn.
If you go to peoples houses for a cookout/dinner or whatever, don't obnoxiously state "we do it like this where I'm from". "Let me give you some pointers on how you should cook that". I can't believe you don't have (insert favorite fancy liquor)". "oh that would never fly where I'm from". If you want to show off your cooking and habits from where your from, have people over to your house and do it up like you would at "home". After all,w e are in the same country and most embrace recipes and tasty eats from other locations.
And for the touristy town I'm near, instead of complaining about the early/late season weekend events scheduled to keep the money flowing in the off season, go check them out. View the cars. The motorcycles. Splurge on the local foods. go to the weigh-in's during fishing tournaments. If you absolutely can't stand any of those activities, just suck it up as it will only be a few days and they'll be gone and you can go back to your routine!
It's not about you changing the place you moved to and the people who have lived there for years. It's your responsibility to fit in! Whether that is by changing yourself (which isn't necessary) or by not being obnoxious in your differences. Not telling the locals that this is better! We did it like this where I'm from! You all don't cook that right!
I may prefer the countryside, but hate the prevailing conservative ideology in a particular rural area. It's a gray area to say the least.
Feel free to move to the countryside and maintain your liberal ideology. But if you do, don't expect your new neighbors to welcome you or draw you in to their lives or accept you as one of their own. Because you won't be. And if you try and argue with them and espouse the supposed superiority of your views, you will be seen as the obnoxious outsider who moved into their area and then tried to force them to change their long-cherished views, simply to suit your own preferences.
Quote:
Originally Posted by canudigit
"We don't care how Y'ALL do it up north!
If that isn't the official motto of the South, it should be!
What if I decide that I've had enough of the New England winters and I move to Alabama. Does that mean I suddenly have to change my views on gay rights and universal healthcare?
I know I'm making awful generalizations, but I see it a lot on these boards.
You obviously don't have to change your views, but don't shove it in the face of the Alabama public, many of whom are not going to agree with you.
I think many of the responses on this thread are predicated on a number of false premises.
Is it really established that people move to a new place and then start telling everyone how much better it is back home? I hear this all the time, but nobody ever gives any specific examples and it has the sound of more of a fear than a reality. You know, There are so many people from California moving in ... I know in my heart that California is bad ... but why are people from California bad ... because I know they are, that's why ... they think they're so great in California ... they're acting so high and mighty ... they shouldn't be here!
In a post from a few years ago, one poster told, in an approving tone, an absolutely horrifying story -- which thankfully took place 70 to 80 years ago -- about a man who moved to a rural area from the big city. Tellingly, the poster said absolutely nothing about what the newcomer did wrong, which implies to me that it was probably nothing other than vaguely seeming like an outsider. But in great detail, he described how the locals arranged to have him brutally assaulted, after which "he actually became a good guy and really fit in." This reminds me of nothing so much as the practice of jumping new members into a gang.
Another false premise is that regions and states and cities and towns have a unified culture with Chinese-style "harmony," where everyone does things the same way and agrees on everything until hated outsiders mess with their sacred traditions. That, of course, is not true at all. Every place is a mix of attitudes, opinions and practices, both social and political.
Finally, it's incorrect to assume that most people care about culture and politics and ideology. Here on C-D, people do -- that's why we're here. But in the real world, I've found that the vast majority of people like reading US Weekly and watching the Kardashians, and they don't think too hard about how this place is changing or these damned liberals are ruining everything. They live their lives and go to work and every four years they go to the local middle school and pull the lever for whichever presidential candidate sparks the most positive emotional reaction. But they don't care what others do or even what kind of attitude they project.
Last edited by boulevardofdef; 10-09-2015 at 09:23 AM..
I think many of the responses on this thread are predicated on a number of false premises.
Is it really established that people move to a new place and then start telling everyone how much better it is back home? I hear this all the time, but nobody ever gives any specific examples and it has the sound of more of a fear than a reality. You know, There are so many people from California moving in ... I know in my heart that California is bad ... but why are people from California bad ... because I know they are, that's why ... they think they're so great in California ... they're acting so high and mighty ... they shouldn't be here!
One New Yorker I worked for, whenever he came here he would bring breads, meats, etc from NY as that was the only place that had food which was good enough. The only time he would eat anything from here was if we caught it!
I have known others from New Jersey/New York who would not go out with us if we were planning to go get pizza. We'd have to change our plans for them to go as Pizza outside of that area was inedible.
Some come here from north/central Jersey and in one breath praise how nice it is compared to "home" but then turn around and start complaining about how everything is done wrong here and how, if they were home, such and such would be run much better, efficiently etc.. Then they, just like the others, start into their rant against our food here. How slow everything is. How this part of our state is backwards.
Also, around here we get a lot of people from the DC area who are used to a faster paced type of life and can't quite get used to how everything is a lot more laid back here!
I'm not, nor won't, bash people from those areas as I know some truly great people (and have many good friends) from those areas. Hell, I am originally from the DC area myself! By far, not every transplant is like that. It is just pretty annoying when you come across those that are!
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