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People might come on here and sensationally decry their current location and scream about how they must leave immediately, but that doesn't mean they aren't going to do a lot of research before they make the move. They come on here for people's opinions of prospective areas, and that's a valuable thing to do, but tat doesn't mean they use it as their sole source of information.
They come into the state forums and ask about cheap and pretty and the absence of the intolerable condition, for examples sake, let's say snowfall.
Then, they supposedly come for a visit to check out the place but instead of checking it out like a possible future resident they visit like a tourist. They don't go in the supermarkets to see if they carry the kind of food/food brands they like. If they are readers, they don't go in the library to see if they carry the latest books they like in the genre they like. They don't do the commute in the morning from their potential new home to see what the traffic would be like for their commute to work at the time of day they would be commuting. They don't check out the stores to see if they carry the clothing and products they like. If they are religious, they don't attend a service while visiting. If they like to bowl, fish, play golf, ride bikes, etc., they don't do those things when they visit to see if it is as easy or as pleasurable as those things were in the place from which they are fleeing. They want to live in the mountains but don't check out what it's like there when the roads are icy and they have to up and down those mountain roads to do basic things or they want to live on the beach but don't visit out of season when the tourists are gone and only a third of the stores are open, the town closes up at night and the activities come to a halt. They look at homes in the daytime but don't go back to those places at night to see what it's like there when the kids aren't in school and hanging out or the adults are home from work. They don't go to events that the locals attend (because they are at the tourist events) to see if the people look like their kind of people. You know, are you the make-up, jewelry, sporty attire, wine drinking, country club type and the locals are the beer and jeans type or vice versa? They don't visit the schools they plan to put their kids in. They may do drive-bys.
Then they move to the new place based on the grand time they had on their visit and come back into city data a few months later to whine about the local people or the stores that they don't have or the stores that don't carry the products they like or that the activities aren't up to par with the places they left. Then there's my favorite ones that call or imply that the locals are stupid. Well, who's the stupid one who spent a lot of money uprooting a spouse, maybe kids, to move to a place for which they are so ill-suited?
Right. And do you ever wonder if these people have elderly parents, siblings that they are very close to, or good lifelong friends like most of us, and if so, why can they just toss that all away to avoid shoveling snow or have a lower house payment? Don't people feel attached to their families anymore?
My brother and I are planning to move 2600 miles away from the town we've lived in our entire lives. The hardest part will be leaving our parents behind, but we hate it here so badly that even that's not enough to keep us here.
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Originally Posted by BruceTenmile
Some people are just not as attached to their families. I don't stop and think that because those that are close with their loved ones wouldn't be the ones moving, I assume they aren't close and that's how they can make the choice. Lots of people can move across the world, far more than just across the country. I sure as hell couldn't do it, but that's me.
I may be one of those people. While I love my parents dearly, I can't bear the thought of staying somewhere I despise and being miserable just so they'll be happy knowing I'm only a couple of miles away at all times. I'm sure I'll miss them when I leave, but I don't think I'd miss anyone enough to come back here to live. As far as friends go, that's not really an issue for me. I have plenty of people I consider friends, but I hardly ever see any of them because they're all married and have children, and I don't. Plus they have hardly changed since high school, and I feel I'm quite a different person now, so we have very, very little in common.
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Originally Posted by BruceTenmile
Also, whilst it may seem that something has just snapped and that their reasons for wanting to move are just frivolous and generally pretty crappy, maybe that's because they just aren't good at putting those reasons down on paper? Just because it might seem to us like they just want to move on a whim, doesn't mean they haven't thought it out well. Who are we to just a person's reasoning just based on one lazily put together paragraph.
I recently told my coworkers and friends that I'm planning to move as soon as my house sells. I visited the place I want to move to in early November, and so I'm sure they all think I just decided to do this since my trip. What they don't realize is that my trip was a scouting trip, not a vacation. I've been planning to move for years now, but until the last year or so I hadn't decided exactly where, although I had it narrowed down to three or four places. So by the time I visited the town, I had already done quite a bit of research on it as a place to live, not a vacation destination.
Yes, I am moving without a job lined up, as is my brother. My brother is in school full time and not working anyway, and he will simply be transferring to the university there. I'll probably go back to school, but I plan to look for a job and work/get settled for a year or so first (mainly to get in-state tuition prices). We co-own a house that's completely paid for, so we'll have plenty of money to get by on without jobs if it comes to that. I've been saving every dime I can as well, and we're selling as much stuff as we can (junk we need to get rid of anyway). We've both lived here our entire lives (he's 28 and I'm 32) and, though we've never really liked it, we've really started to hate it in the last ten years or so. But until now we've never had the money to attempt leaving, or a solid destination in mind. It's rough feeling like you're trapped in a place you hate, even when you really have no attachment to the place. When I returned from my trip, I felt like I had left my real home and returned to some strange, horrible town. And it's been a pretty miserable five months since I got back. The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that hopefully, in a couple of months, I'll get to leave for good. And though it probably seems to my family and friends that I'm moving on a whim, this is actually just the end product of years of planning that I just never mentioned to anyone. Who knows? I may be back posting in this thread about how big a mistake I made. But I doubt it. At the very least I think I'd just move somewhere else instead of coming back to my home town.
I totally agree, i argue everyday with my parents about how they pick living in arizona instead of being near their kids.They onlymoved a year and half ago for all the wrong reasons the weather. Unfourtantly they brought me now im stuck in PHX. Im been raised all my life in pa 40 min from philly and cannot wait to get back. In fact i would be back if it werent from them living out here.Soto answer your question some people still do care about family ,but i am the minority.
Moved because: Job offer. Plus, tired of the cliche University of KY sports 24-7 culture/news reporting year-round and annoying Southern accents.
Likes: Cincy area's beautiful historic neighborhoods, jewel of a skyline, natural and park beauty during spring and summer, a great church I've attended, my co-workers, extremely easy commute to work, local chili and pizza restaurants.
Dislikes: extreme provincialism, surprisingly high amount of road rage, depressing winters, a very large minority of plainly impolite and surly people, particularly poor job market even during better times (unless it's financial services or healthcare).
The likes aren't enough to outweigh the dislikes for me. I adore California and Texas and, while I am open-minded as to where in the U.S. I move for the sake of career and educational opportunities, I am focusing substantially on locating to either of the two states. Especially California; I even have an interview for a job there in the near future. Wish me luck!
Meanwhile, I posted these two posts below just yesterday in the Cincinnati forum.
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Cincinnati has many opportunities to enjoy arts, beautiful parks, nice scenery, and a treasure trove of beautiful historic neighborhoods. Also, I like many of the pizzerias and chili parlors I've eaten at here (my tastes in food are simple).
However, no matter the amenities of a city, I want most to be around a friendly, happy populace. And that Cincinnati is not. I work in customer service and today alone--in AND out of work--I have interacted with one very condescending, 4-5 very grumpy, and 1-2 short-toned people. This is rather common, sadly, but maybe that's reflective in the gradual erosion of decorum in this country. Many locals do not believe in using "thank you" or "please" in any way to customer service folks, be it to me or in other industries. (I know that such mannerly gestures are slipping away in the country, but I notice that it happens less in Cincy than in many other areas I've been to.) Plus, I worked at a local business for a few months at which I met plenty of delightful people from Toronto, California, Seattle, Texas, Boston, New York, Iowa, Minnesota, etc.; now, I'm not saying that those places are or are not any friendlier overall than Cincy-NKY locals. However, while at work, in contrast to the locals, they were generally much friendlier and more polite in basic interaction. The hostility and surliness is reflected in many people who work in customer service around these parts and, slowly but surely, I notice that attitude being reflected from me.
I would argue that the nightlife here for us 20-somethings is, and this genuinely surprised and continues to surprise me, "douchey." Pasty-faced white guys spiking their hair and girls trying to emulate Snooki or Paris Hilton are surprisingly abundant, even in more low-key establishments. I wish I were making this up; if I actually wanted this, I would hang out in hipster bars in San Francisco, Brooklyn, or West L.A./West Hollywood with real hipsters. I like the nightlife much better in Nashville, Louisville (although I didn't like living there at all) and Lexington (which has much less to offer than any of the other cities I mentioned) because of their generally more laid-back/friendly vibes.
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One other little thing, before I moved here I remember reading post that most Cincy natives we not that friendly to new commers. I have not found that true at all for the most part the people I have met have been wonderful.
I have not found that to be the case. Now, I have made friends here and interacted with plenty of friendly people. Overall, most people everywhere are good in one-on-one interactions, but different places have people with friendlier or more polite populations than others. I receive high marks for customer service, receive plenty of compliments from customers about the job I perform and have even found a great church that I've attended. So, I know that my problem with the people here isn't me, it's actually the a large contingent (which I would call very large but not a majority) of people from here.
I came to Cincinnati in love with the city/region and ready to "hit the road running" and enjoy it. I'm in the process of leaving sorely disappointed.
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I say "hello" to fellow folks out on the sidewalk all the time. Usually, I do get responses in kind which is the good news. Some people seem "begrudged" or "obligated" to do it, though, but whatever.
I still stick to my observations and experiences, though. The majority of people I've met here have been nice and polite. But there is a sizable minority of rude, self-centered, impatient jerks here, and even more who just p*ss and groan about the most minute things in life. It's kind of sad, really, especially considering that Cincy/NKY has A LOT going on for a metro area its size and, at least during spring and summer, is quite pretty.
Honestly, in my experience, Cincinnati/NKY is third place to Washington, DC (#2) and New York (#1) as having a highest percentage of the population that is just not very nice. However, at least Washington is a world political, diplomatic and military capital and New York a world financial and cultural capital; not that that excuses those cities, but it does demonstrate that those cities are much more important global cities in scale and career and educational opportunity than here. Cincinnati/NKY is only 1/3 the size of Greater Washington and is on the cusps of the friendly South and (supposedly) friendly Midwest, so I really don't know what its problem is.
Lamplight, the way you feel about Middle TN is the same way I feel about Kentucky. Best of luck to you!
What's ironic is that places like Lexington, KY and Nashville, TN are two of the places that get a lot of the "I can't stand one more long, snowy winter, tell me where the best subdivisions and school districts are in ____________."
Just goes to show you, every place has its ups and downs, its good and bad. Just because a place is south of the Mason Dixon Line doesn't mean it's perfect, which is the vibe one gets from so many threads here on C-D started by people who think that moving South will fix all of their problems. Don't get me wrong, I love the South, it's just that I think that if more people would look at relocation realistically, instead of assuming it's all hanging out at the beach and moonlight and magnolias, there might be a lot more thought put into uprooting an entire family than how much snow they'll be shoveling this winter.
Lamplight, the way you feel about Middle TN is the same way I feel about Kentucky. Best of luck to you!
Thanks! Good luck to you too.
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Originally Posted by canudigit
What's ironic is that places like Lexington, KY and Nashville, TN are two of the places that get a lot of the "I can't stand one more long, snowy winter, tell me where the best subdivisions and school districts are in ____________."
Just goes to show you, every place has its ups and downs, its good and bad. Just because a place is south of the Mason Dixon Line doesn't mean it's perfect, which is the vibe one gets from so many threads here on C-D started by people who think that moving South will fix all of their problems. Don't get me wrong, I love the South, it's just that I think that if more people would look at relocation realistically, instead of assuming it's all hanging out at the beach and moonlight and magnolias, there might be a lot more thought put into uprooting an entire family than how much snow they'll be shoveling this winter.
I think some people move to Tennessee thinking we hardly ever have cold winter weather, which of course isn't true at all. It doesn't get brutally cold of course, and our winters are fairly short, but it can still get pretty cold here.
LOL, we get that on the Michigan forum all the time too. If they're so much happier in their new place, great! But why, if they're so happy, do they feel the need to get on the forum on a daily basis for the place that they apparently hated sooooo much and bash it? Happy people, the last time I checked, don't feel the need to do that. Hmmm...
This is exactly why I don't tolerate those people. I have no problem letting them know that relocating hasn't changed the fact that their personalities are giant vortices of suck, and that their departure is really addition by subtraction.
Location: Cleveland bound with MPLS in the rear-view
5,509 posts, read 11,880,875 times
Reputation: 2501
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Originally Posted by canudigit
LOL, we get that on the Michigan forum all the time too. If they're so much happier in their new place, great! But why, if they're so happy, do they feel the need to get on the forum on a daily basis for the place that they apparently hated sooooo much and bash it? Happy people, the last time I checked, don't feel the need to do that. Hmmm...
Minnesota too. My question for these people EVERY TIME is why are you telling us? What do you want us to do about your disdain for where I live? And why does it bother you so much?
I get the feeling they secretly want to live here but either can't or feel trapped emotionally.
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