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The church thing does get old. I hear it at work a lot during casual conversations that turn that way. I just excuse myself--something to do! It's so inappropriate and unprofessional to discuss religion during work or to throw it in there when discussing the weather. Ouch. I could say more, but I better stop now.
This comes up a lot on the R&S forum, particularly its "Atheism & Agnosticism" subforum. I thought at first that people were exaggerating when they said they get asked regularly in the south "what church do you go to?" even by casual acquaintances or in the workplace, with the assumption that everyone goes--or should go--to church. Also the complaints about church people constantly knocking on their doors to prosyletize. But enough people verified that it's really a thing if they live in the south.
That doesn't happen where I live, except for the occasional random JWs, and at 61, I've had them knock on my door maybe five times in my life. Normally nobody would ask you about your religion at work or make the assumption that you do go to church in the first place, but that's likely because we are much more mixed here as far as culture and religion goes.
I worked in a very multicultural office, and some of us DID discuss our religions, but mostly out of interest and learning about one another.
I find people in the South very open and honest too, but people here in general are friendlier too. There's definitely more rudeness and arrogance in the Northeast, things like no holding a door open for people, driving aggressively and tailgating, being very impatient in line at a store, etc, you see this more in the Northeast. When people in the South get to know their neighbors, say hello, etc that's not being fake friendly. At least here when someone has a problem with you it will be very obvious. A Southerner is more likely to say excuse me while someone from the Northeast would be more likely to just push past you.
Now let's say that someone is in a checkout line at a grocery store that is moving too slowly BY LOCAL STANDARDS. In the South someone might say something like "I'm really in a hurry, can you please speed things up" while in a place like New Jersey, someone would probably start banging on something, staring in a very threatening manner, and cursing and saying "this is B.S" very loudly. Both these examples are equally open and honest, but in the NJ example its more rude and confrontational. When talking politics a lot of non-redneck Southerners are good at being direct and honest without being crass. For example I won't hesitate to say something like "If someone is illegal, they shouldn't even be here" but I wouldn't say "they need to get the f____ out of my country". Both convey they same thought and belief but one is classier than the other. About religion, I could say that someone who is not Christian is going to go to hell, but I'd rather say that in order to go to heaven, you must be saved (since its already understood that if someone does not go to heaven, there is only one other place). Again these mean the same thing, but one is classier than the other. Maybe that's an example of how someone in the South might say something differently, but there's nothing actually dishonest or misleading here.
LOL, I've lived in NJ all my life. That's not a common thing that "probably" would happen.
One thing that out-of-towners MIGHT feel is "rude" in the NY/NJ metro area is the impatience of people when it's someone's turn to be waited on after standing on line, and they aren't ready. I've seen that in the city at delis at lunchtime. There's a line, and a tourist gets to the front of it and THEN starts hemming and hawing over the overhead menu and thinking about what they might want to order with ten people behind them. THAT is rude. Not everyone is on vacation, and they want to get their lunch in the short time frame they have. If you don't know what you want, step aside and let the people go who ARE ready to order.
I heard a lot about "rude" people and drivers in MA and Boston, but a trip there showed none of that. People were down-to-earth and real, unlike some other areas where people wear masks and hide their true feelings (fake niceness and fake friendliness). And natives there aren't interested in lollygagging and loitering around on the roads, which I appreciated. They had places to go, and valued their (and other's) time. It was an encouraging difference after being in a place with ultra timid drivers, where people never go over the speed limit or cross a line, as though the world will explode if they did.
Rudeness often shows itself more in the accuser, than the target. In other words, when someone throws down the rude word towards someone else, he/she should be the first one to look at.
Last edited by Thoreau424; 09-09-2019 at 08:10 AM..
I heard a lot about "rude" people and drivers in MA and Boston, but a trip there showed none of that. People were down-to-earth and real, unlike some other areas where people wear masks and hide their true feelings (fake niceness and fake friendliness). And natives there aren't interested in lollygagging and loitering around on the roads, which I appreciated. They had places to go, and valued their (and other's) time. It was an encouraging difference after being in a place with ultra timid drivers, where people never go over the speed limit or cross a line, as though the world will explode if they did.
Rudeness often shows itself more in the accuser, than the target. In other words, when someone throws down the rude word towards someone else, he/she should be the first one to look at.
True. It is almost a stereotype now of things New Yorkers complain about, but it's very real. We get these tourists in the city who walk s l o w l y, sometimes HAND-IN-HAND FOUR OR FIVE ACROSS FOR GOD'S SAKE! on the sidewalks in busy areas, seemingly unaware that there are hundreds of people behind them who have somewhere to go. Sometimes they STOP DEAD right in the middle of the sidewalk! They are being extremely rude by blocking everyone self-indulgently, yet they'll be the first to call New Yorkers rude if someone bumps them as they brush past or breaks through their cutesey little hand-holding line.
New York is a pedestrian city, and foot traffic is how most people get around. Slowing the foot traffic down with this obnoxious behavior is akin to throwing your car into park in the middle of a busy road and expecting everyone else to just stop and wait for you to move.
I taught my daughter growing up to always be aware of your surroundings. Apparently, that's not a thing in some places.
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Yup, I have often stated many times here on CD those accusing others and throwing the word “rude” around are often the least qualified and last ones who should be doing so.
Couldn’t agree with you more about the inconsiderate person who only starts to give thought about what they want to order when they get to the front of the line, having apparently been in a coma for the previous 5 minutes and oblivious to others behind them. I guess common courtesy does not apply to them—do as I say, not as I do.
Another pet peeve—those walking towards me from the opposite direction who insist on cutting me off and/or taking the 1 inch between a wall to my right and me, rather than using the available 4 feet to their right and moving over. I was never great in Physics but learned if I walk to my right and you walk to your right we probably won’t collide into one another....maybe it’s my “magnetic” personality—lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thoreau424
I heard a lot about "rude" people and drivers in MA and Boston, but a trip there showed none of that. People were down-to-earth and real, unlike some other areas where people wear masks and hide their true feelings (fake niceness and fake friendliness). And natives there aren't interested in lollygagging and loitering around on the roads, which I appreciated. They had places to go, and valued their (and other's) time. It was an encouraging difference after being in a place with ultra timid drivers, where people never go over the speed limit or cross a line, as though the world will explode if they did.
Rudeness often shows itself more in the accuser, than the target. In other words, when someone throws down the rude word towards someone else, he/she should be the first one to look at.
Last edited by elchevere; 09-09-2019 at 09:46 AM..
^ Great points MQ. That is another positive goal: going with the flow of the surroundings. If people are driving at a certain speed, it's best to mimic that to avoid speed-ups and slow-downs and collisions. And in the situation above, being mindful of the surroundings, and what works for the majority, also has benefits. There's flow on sidewalks too, and should be maintained for unity. Personal freedoms are great, but not in those kinds of environments. They become contrary and counter-productive.
Yup, I have often stated many times here on CD those accusing others and throwing the word “rude” around are often the least qualified and last ones who should be doing so.
Couldn’t agree with you more about the inconsiderate person who only starts to give thought about what they want to order when they get to the front of the line, having apparently been in a coma for the previous 5 minutes and oblivious to others behind them. I guess common courtesy does not apply to them—do as I say, not as I do.
Another pet peeve—those walking towards me from the opposite direction who insist on cutting me off and/or taking the 1 inch between a wall to my right and me, rather than using the available 4 feet to their right and moving over. I was never great in Physics but learned if I walk to my right and you walk to your right we probably won’t collide into one another....maybe it’s my “magnetic” personality—lol.
It should be common knowledge that everyone should walk on the right side of the sidewalk--the same as car traffic--but amazingly, some people never pick up on that...
I heard a lot about "rude" people and drivers in MA and Boston, but a trip there showed none of that. People were down-to-earth and real, unlike some other areas where people wear masks and hide their true feelings (fake niceness and fake friendliness). And natives there aren't interested in lollygagging and loitering around on the roads, which I appreciated. They had places to go, and valued their (and other's) time. It was an encouraging difference after being in a place with ultra timid drivers, where people never go over the speed limit or cross a line, as though the world will explode if they did.
Rudeness often shows itself more in the accuser, than the target. In other words, when someone throws down the rude word towards someone else, he/she should be the first one to look at.
I also think that a lot of the "rudeness" people see in places like Boston or NYC or anywhere else in the northern portion of the country, is not rudeness at all. Take for example, a guy my husband used to work with. He was from Cleveland originally, but had moved to Memphis several years prior. When you first get to know the guy, you could certainly mistake how he talks as being rude. I don't know if it's the accent, the words used, or the way things are said, but people used to always mistake him as being rude, when he really wasn't being rude at all.
The same thing used to happen with a British woman I worked with. In both cases, they were very rarely, if ever, being "rude", but were told they were pretty often. Mostly they were just joking around or just not beating around the bush. I think a lot of the "rudeness" is simply people mistaking what others are saying as being "rude", when it really isn't. I see it a lot here in the south.
As for behaviors, maybe you would see more rude behavior in a city like NYC or Philly, I don't really know, but if so, I would assume it was because of the pace of life that you aren't keeping up with.
This comes up a lot on the R&S forum, particularly its "Atheism & Agnosticism" subforum. I thought at first that people were exaggerating when they said they get asked regularly in the south "what church do you go to?" even by casual acquaintances or in the workplace, with the assumption that everyone goes--or should go--to church. Also the complaints about church people constantly knocking on their doors to prosyletize. But enough people verified that it's really a thing if they live in the south.
That doesn't happen where I live, except for the occasional random JWs, and at 61, I've had them knock on my door maybe five times in my life. Normally nobody would ask you about your religion at work or make the assumption that you do go to church in the first place, but that's likely because we are much more mixed here as far as culture and religion goes.
I worked in a very multicultural office, and some of us DID discuss our religions, but mostly out of interest and learning about one another.
I've had many instances where I work when someone will say to me "Jesus Loves You," or start talking about the bible. I excuse myself and say I forgot to do XYZ. If it was my personal life, I'd confront it straight on, but where I work, the head manager is like that, so I've learned to just deal w/ it by leaving the scene. LOL.
I've seen people put their hands up to start "laying on of hands" in 2 instances. In a text conversation about work w/the group, scripture or prayer will come up. It's just the way it is. Makes me very uncomfortable though! I've been known to roll my eyes far back...
Different regions have different aggravating factors. Things bothered me in other regions, too. Just a matter of what you can stand and how you deal w/ it I guess.
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