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I've lived in various places throughout my life.. Northeastern PA (Scranton area), Southwest GA (Albany area), Northern RI and now Northern NJ (NYC area).
I currently telecommute for my job in Manhattan. It pays modestly ($100k) for NYC area, but really well for other areas (Northeastern PA, for example). I have a wife (housewife) and 2 children.
I'd love to live in NYC, but the problem is the extreme cost of living. Also, the commuting is really not family friendly, as I can end up away from home for 12 hours just because of the commute. Because of this, I haven't been spending much time with my kids, and it's causing a bit of stress in the marriage.
I really enjoyed living in New England, but it's really almost as expensive and there aren't as many job opportunities there.
What I am looking for is a place with a good job market, decent cost of living, and a decent commute (<= 45 min). For reference, I work as a web developer (PHP, Python, JavaScript, Actionscript etc). After a couple years, my wife is going to go back to work (Dental Hygenist.. good anywhere, really).
We are partial to a less humid region. We don't mind dry heat, but the hot, humid Georgia summers were brutal.
Because I have a job already, it won't be as hard to move somewhere, but I want to make sure there ARE jobs available in case anything should happen.
What you ask is quite a bit to need/want in a particular region. I could suggest my hometown of Buffalo, NY for commute times (rated #1 shortest commute times), and also for the reason that we have one of the cheapest costs of living in America, along with not having brutally hot summers, I actually think this might be a good place for you. But, what really matters here is probably the job factor, and I don't know if this would be the best place for you with your job situation.
Go on monster.com and do job searches in your field, picking different cities at random - Chicago, Phoenix, Denver, Portland, Dallas, etc. This will get you a feel for the job market for your field and give you and your wife an idea of where else to consider.
FYI - a coworker's DH, with similar job credentials, was laid off just before Christmas. He started looking in January and got hired with a new firm last week. DFW seems to still have opportunities in your field right now.
Also, see if ABC News still has the link on job hunting. There are some great tips on using the net to look.
I like St. Louis a lot, cost of living is fairly low, but humidity is going to get high sometimes. Although, my Pastor from Alabama says the humidity here is not near as bad. I'm not sure how Alabama is compared to Georgia. But St. Louis gets 4 seasons. Blankets of snow in the winter (though not as much snow as Chicago), and beautiful autumns. City schools are not really good (most cities don't have great public schools anyway), but there are great private schools, charter schools, and suburban schools. If you can make around $100k in St. Louis, you should live fairly comfortably. You can probably also get a decent suburban home not too far from the city for like $250k. I'm not sure what the job situation is like, though.
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