Am I being selfish (old, month, child, children)

[GamawD]

My daughter has been living in my home for the past 8 months as well as my grandson. I worked a 30 hour job and take care of him so that she can work a 60+ hour job as a retail manager. I watch baby from 5am till daycare opens, take him to daycare then go to my job, pick him up after work and watch him till she gets home usually by 7 . Or some days i she drops him off and i picked him up till sje got home after 10pm. I also watch him every saturday and sunday. Never once did i ask for compisation since i had an income nor did she offer. She is going thru a divorce and because of the stress has had to have lots of medical attention. Many times i could not go to work cause there was no one to watch the baby. I since have lost my job because of the burdins it put on me. She is still having me take baby to and from daycare and watch him extra hours so that she can catch up at her job. She says she cant affotd to pay me but if i get a job she will be able to pay someone else to watch him when daycare is not an option. I asked her to take him out of daycare and just pay me since he is there 28 hours a week (168.00) a week. And i watch him the other 35+ hours withou pay. She says i am being selfish. If i am even able to find a job quickly she will not have anyone to watch him and loose her job. If i do not get an income soon i will loose my car and home. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, so torn.

[JrzDefector]

Your daughter is taking advantage of you. Look, divorce made my mother act like quite a monster too.

Tell her she pays you or she has to find another source of care. You are not being selfish in wanting to remain in your home and retain your car. She's the one who's being selfish and only looking out for her own interests. You raised her - you don't have any obligations to her past 18.

[Mattie]

Of course not. Your daughter is the one being selfish. Stay calm, stick to the facts, and tell her the free care has to end.

[GamawD]

Thanks guys so much that is what my heart has been telling me. And basically everyone else, just needed to hear an objective from non family.

[steelstress]

What everyone else said.

[GamawD]

Thanks, had a long talk with her lastnight, she is going to start paying me for the time he is with me, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel

[Mattie]

I'm glad your daughter saw that light!

[no kudzu]

That is all well and fine but what about room and board for staying in your home? That may sound cruel but how is charging an 18 year old room and board any different than charging the same for a grown daughter who has come home with a child? If she pays you for taking care of the child will you still be able to meet your financial obligations without added stress/ What about your job prospects if you are out of the market for too much longer?

Seems to me just paying you to keep her child and not taking into consideration your own future still makes her very selfish. I know we all want to help out of children in special times of need but seems to me if she was so blind as to not see our situation until you had to speak to her, she will still be unable to to see past her own needs. IMHO.

[GamawD]

This is verry true, she is paying 200 a month already for room and board, as for my working conditions, it has been sparidic for the past couple years. Many things i cant due at my age because of a spinal injury when i was younger, but i take what i can get when it is available to me. God has blessed me in many ways where that is concerned, hopefully now that we are working togather as a family i will be blessed enough to get needs takin care of untill that next opturnity comes along.

[somebodynew]

I don't understand. She works from 5-7p 7 days a week? When does she see her child?