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I was looking for some comfort or maybe some words of wisdom from you all.
Unfortunately my Grandad had a stroke in the early hours of this morning which has resulted in a huge bleed on his brain.
We have been informed by Doctors that he has 48 hours to live, if that. Apparently there is nothing they can do for him, they are focusing on keeping him comfortable as of now and have stopped giving him fluids (I think to try and not prolong what is inevitably coming?), he is not awake .
My Mum and Dad have gone to be with him and my Grandma and his siblings. Me, my siblings and cousins were told we weren't allowed to go, which I respect as there is a truckload of us and it's not fair to give a couple of us priority over the others. When I spoke to my Dad on the phone he said they were all sat around his bed, sharing stories and fond memories they all had together.
So as of now and as of all day I've been sat on my own, crying on and off, can't get him out of my head. Just waiting for that dreaded phone call that I know I am going to get.
I'm devastated that I can't be there with him or tell him how much he means to me and how much I adored him but mostly I probably wont ever see him again.
It sounds like you were close to your grandpa so he probably knows how much he meant to you. As you were loving to him in life he knows that on his deathbed too, so take some comfort from that. I'm sorry you're going through this difficult rite of passage, it's always hard and never gets easier. You are smart to allow yourself to grieve and not bottle up your sadness. My sympathy to you.
While heart breaking, the natural progression is the elderly die first. When it it is over, rally around and support your Grandmother plus your Mom and Dad. They will need you the most. Time to put on your grownup pants and assume a family role. You are passing to adulthood which brings new emotions and responsibilities. Chin up. You can handle it.
Perhaps this is the first time you have had a close relative die? This is one of the ceremonies of life, and you are getting your initiation. From what you have said, I am sure your grandfather knew how much you cared for him.
He will always be present in your heart.
I am old, and I still keep sweet memories of my grandparents, and so will you.
You will grieve and you will remember. I agree that you need to be supportive of your grandmother. As bad as this is, it could be worse. Your grandfather is not suffering, and did not have to undergo long treatment.
Your love for him, and the memories you have for the rest of your life will be a testament to his love for you.
This is hard, but you are stronger than you know. God bless.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I'm very sorry to hear of your sad situation. My wife's mother died at age 95 last summer, and because it was just her body being too old to continue, she was basically unable to eat or communicate for several weeks, after several months of decline. We spent a lot of time alongside, talking to her and not knowing whether she even knew we were there. I think for you, it may actually be better to remember your grandfather as he was the last time you were with him, being there at this stage could make it even more difficult for you.
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