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I have read and seen some disturbing trends regarding new parents lately. Perhaps it is due to my profession (nurse in a large urban area) or my personal beliefs about who should be allowed to become parents. I would like honest, thoughtful input from those that visit this section of CD. If you had your way, what would be on your list of requirements to be allowed to procreate?
I have read and seen some disturbing trends regarding new parents lately. Perhaps it is due to my profession (nurse in a large urban area) or my personal beliefs about who should be allowed to become parents. I would like honest, thoughtful input from those that visit this section of CD. If you had your way, what would be on your list of requirements to be allowed to procreate?
The only requirement would be some basic marriage and parenting classes. After that, have at it. However, I think that would be a waste of money. How many girls still get pregnant despite all the sex classes they get in high school and all the free condoms they get?
Must be responsible enough that caring for a dog or cat isn't considered an inconvenience. Problem is, that would require that those poor animals be "guinea pigs" for that horrible environment.
1. Must be of physical health capable of carrying a child to term without in-vitro, insemination, implants. Free adoption for those who qualify, who cannot meet this rule but meet all the others.
2. Must pass the same rigid standards that state adoption boards require of adoptive parents. If you're not fit to adopt, then you're not fit to have your own.
3. Must prove that you know how to change a diaper.
4. Must have at least one parent available to care for the baby until the baby is old enough for nursery school. Occasional babysitters and generous visits from grandma encouraged.
5. Must have the means to provide medical insurance for the child, AND set up a fund for the *assistance* of the child's financial future. Even if that means only $10/month deposited into a christmas account and rolled over yearly.
6. Must prove that the home is a *relatively* safe place for a baby. That is to say, you don't need any fancy doo-dads all over the house with baby monitors and hepa filters - however, daddy who smokes should be smoking outside, not inside, and carpets should show evidence of vacuuming, knives put in knife-holders or in drawers, just common sense stuff. If you can't manage the little things, then you certainly aren't qualified to handle your own baby.
How? Standardized testing ? Income minimums ? Psych eval ? In your perfect world, how would the process look ?
As far as adoption requirements, I have no idea what they are. I suppose there has been some though put into the basics of what good qualities would make good parents so at least adoptions requirements should serve as a guideline.
As far as financially and emotionally able. Have a decent job and not be or have a background of being on assistance. Not having a history of mental disorders, violent behavior or being treated for depression or other emotional problems or alcohol and drug addictions.
I really dont believe there should be a lot of restrictions. Having money, a nice home, a clean record, college degrees or even a stay a home parent does not guarantee a good home and environment for children. How often do we hear news stories on how messed up the children of celebrities and the wealthy are. Children of preachers, teachers and cops are often the most wild and unruly.
I guess in my perfect world, you should be married, have a partner or have a support system (exteded family members), a good work history or adequate finances, have a background check for criminal records and a medical background check and perhaps three personal references.
None, being a parent is not a right, nor something that's earned. If we start having rules and guidelines as to who can become parents, we've effectively started the sorting process Aldous Huxley describes in Brave New World, and I doubt anyone would truly appreciate the prospects of that.
If we have rules on who can become parents, you'll end up with either an explosion in government required abortions, many of whom would've been completely causeless or hundreds of thousands of unadopted children in holding facilities, which would be far worse of a fate than ill equipped parents.
There's ample supply of example of previously ill equipped or immature people who grows to become great parents once that responsibility is presented to them, there's simply no way to possibly govern this in an accurate way that does not severely trample on our basic human rights.
Now if the debate were to be whether or not artificial insemination should be state funded (not sure if there's any of that going on in the US, but I know they'll pay for 3 attempts in for instance, Norway), that's another matter entirely, like I've already mentioned, parenthood is not a right.
Does anyone else look at all the children that are in the system? If so, you realize in a perfect world, there would be strict guidelines. And, I agree that the basic guidelines for adopting would be the place to start: background checks, financial screening, references, classes, home visits, etc. I think the "personality inventory" should be used for prospective parents in the perfect world. Of course, a lot of these requirements would have to be made of those caring for these children because one rotten apple can indeed spoil the whole bunch. And, don't forget the school teachers because of their impact on even the best parenting. There are so many negative elements in the environment that one can see that it would take more than perfect parents to churn out new perfect individuals, even close to perfect in any way.
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