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I grew up in the '60s and '70s. As a girl I climbed trees, hunted frogs, played football in the street with neighborhood other boys and girls, preferred to wear my brother's old jeans rather than my sister's old dresses, got as dirty as Dennis the Menace but took fewer baths, and knew that I could grow up to be anything I wanted. I also learned to bake and to knit (as did my brother), loved to read, and played with a dollhouse, using snails instead of dolls. I spent a lot of time in our local toy store, but I don't remember a boys' section or a girls' section. (I can still tell you where to find the crafts, the Breyer horses, the yo-yos, and the candy.) No one - at home or at school - told me I had to like pink, or that I should play with dolls, or that toy cars were for boys. No one told me I had to learn to wear makeup or that I would someday be evaluated by my clothes and my hair. I didn't even know that I was unable to identify with the male protagonists in my books. I grew up free.
In general, I think people would say that women and girls are freer now than during those decades, but it seems to me that the definitions of what it means to be boy or girl, male or female, have actually become more rigid. Toys are marketed to boys or to girls. Toy stores have boy sections and girl sections. And little girls who hate dresses believe they must really be boys. Are we confusing kids about what it is to be male or to be female? Every article I've seen about a child who was "born the wrong gender" tells about how they couldn't accept the clothes and activities assigned to their birth gender, and that's how the kid and parents knew the child really should be the other sex. (I'm sure it's more complex than that, but I mention it because it seems to be a large part of the story every time.)
In a recent professional baseball game a batter charged the mound and fought with the pitcher. The benches emptied as both teams ran out onto the field. When players were interviewed, some of them said things like, "He did what he needed to do, as a man." So kids are told that this is how men act. Is this part of what defines manhood? (Really, I think it's more typical of 13-year-olds, than of men.)
Sexist expressions are common: "screamed like a little girl," "man-up," and "grow a pair" are three I see and hear often. Why are these so freely accepted?
I'm not sure it makes any difference on women's or boys' eventual career choices and life trajectories, what kind of toys and games they played as kids, or pastimes they had. I don't think anyone forces girls to play with dolls, nor did they ever, with possibly some exceptions. It seems like boys where the ones who always had more rigid roles, and were expected to play sports, whether they were interested or had any aptitude for it or not. That's changing a little, but there's still a long way to go, in terms of boys' options, I think. It would be interesting to hear from the male contingent on this.
I grew up in the '60s and '70s. As a girl I climbed trees, hunted frogs, played football in the street with neighborhood other boys and girls, preferred to wear my brother's old jeans rather than my sister's old dresses, got as dirty as Dennis the Menace but took fewer baths, and knew that I could grow up to be anything I wanted. I also learned to bake and to knit (as did my brother), loved to read, and played with a dollhouse, using snails instead of dolls. I spent a lot of time in our local toy store, but I don't remember a boys' section or a girls' section. (I can still tell you where to find the crafts, the Breyer horses, the yo-yos, and the candy.) No one - at home or at school - told me I had to like pink, or that I should play with dolls, or that toy cars were for boys. No one told me I had to learn to wear makeup or that I would someday be evaluated by my clothes and my hair. I didn't even know that I was unable to identify with the male protagonists in my books. I grew up free.
In general, I think people would say that women and girls are freer now than during those decades, but it seems to me that the definitions of what it means to be boy or girl, male or female, have actually become more rigid. Toys are marketed to boys or to girls. Toy stores have boy sections and girl sections. And little girls who hate dresses believe they must really be boys. Are we confusing kids about what it is to be male or to be female? Every article I've seen about a child who was "born the wrong gender" tells about how they couldn't accept the clothes and activities assigned to their birth gender, and that's how the kid and parents knew the child really should be the other sex. (I'm sure it's more complex than that, but I mention it because it seems to be a large part of the story every time.)
In a recent professional baseball game a batter charged the mound and fought with the pitcher. The benches emptied as both teams ran out onto the field. When players were interviewed, some of them said things like, "He did what he needed to do, as a man." So kids are told that this is how men act. Is this part of what defines manhood? (Really, I think it's more typical of 13-year-olds, than of men.)
Sexist expressions are common: "screamed like a little girl," "man-up," and "grow a pair" are three I see and hear often. Why are these so freely accepted?
What do you think?
I greup i the 50's thru 60's and toys were very aimed at boys and girls seprately then.Most girls toys where much different then. i;d say video games have made girls and boys toys much more similar now days.I see girls rding wehat would only be considered a boys bike now days ebcause of the cross bar also. They even dress more like boys now days. So I do not agree at all.
I greup i the 50's thru 60's and toys were very aimed at boys and girls seprately then.Most girls toys where much different then. i;d say video games have made girls and boys toys much more similar now days.I see girls rding wehat would only be considered a boys bike now days ebcause of the cross bar also. They even dress more like boys now days. So I do not agree at all.
I think a big change took place sometime in the late '60s and early '70s, but that it has swung back the other direction. Today's sexism looks very different from the sexism of the '50s.
I grew up in the '60s and '70s. As a girl I climbed trees, hunted frogs, played football in the street with neighborhood other boys and girls, preferred to wear my brother's old jeans rather than my sister's old dresses, got as dirty as Dennis the Menace but took fewer baths, and knew that I could grow up to be anything I wanted. I also learned to bake and to knit (as did my brother), loved to read, and played with a dollhouse, using snails instead of dolls. I spent a lot of time in our local toy store, but I don't remember a boys' section or a girls' section. (I can still tell you where to find the crafts, the Breyer horses, the yo-yos, and the candy.) No one - at home or at school - told me I had to like pink, or that I should play with dolls, or that toy cars were for boys. No one told me I had to learn to wear makeup or that I would someday be evaluated by my clothes and my hair. I didn't even know that I was unable to identify with the male protagonists in my books. I grew up free.
In general, I think people would say that women and girls are freer now than during those decades, but it seems to me that the definitions of what it means to be boy or girl, male or female, have actually become more rigid. Toys are marketed to boys or to girls. Toy stores have boy sections and girl sections. And little girls who hate dresses believe they must really be boys. Are we confusing kids about what it is to be male or to be female? Every article I've seen about a child who was "born the wrong gender" tells about how they couldn't accept the clothes and activities assigned to their birth gender, and that's how the kid and parents knew the child really should be the other sex. (I'm sure it's more complex than that, but I mention it because it seems to be a large part of the story every time.)
In a recent professional baseball game a batter charged the mound and fought with the pitcher. The benches emptied as both teams ran out onto the field. When players were interviewed, some of them said things like, "He did what he needed to do, as a man." So kids are told that this is how men act. Is this part of what defines manhood? (Really, I think it's more typical of 13-year-olds, than of men.)
Sexist expressions are common: "screamed like a little girl," "man-up," and "grow a pair" are three I see and hear often. Why are these so freely accepted?
What do you think?
Background: I grew up in 1970's - 80s formative years. In our neighborhood most of us boys all hung out in groups to varying degrees based on common interests and would spend much time outdoors creating our own entertainment via sports games often made up, exploring of creek or parks nearby. Basically, parents thought it was good for us to be active and out and about when weather season permitted.
As for sexes, if girls wanted to play with us they could, but they seldom did based upon the things we were doing. To the point Ruth made about it being more difficult on boys I would concur. Girls who desired to play with the boys were not discouraged that I can recall. But a boy who wanted to do something considered 'girly' usually did get a dose of ribbing and ridicule.
Variables which I think are impacting what you reference:
1) Amplified Consumer Marketing Target profiling and segmentation
This activity has been honed and perfected to isolate and breakdown humans into segments such as infant, toddler, early childhood, tweens, teens, etc.... As these efforts are amplified to sell stuff to them via direct appeals and the overt and covert mass media programming, the formative brains are corralled into identified memes more so than in years past. For example, when I went to school in 70's - 80s formative years there were pretty much three basic groups: Jocks, Nerds, Beats. Now it seems there are more subcultures due to this segmentation (perhaps I am mistaken). And the segmentation by Consumer Marketing, leads to more inward focus on 'self' versus 'exploring the environment' and having open parameters of freedom to play and explore without the overarching constructs being foisted upon people.
2) Parental Mindset - Demographic Inversion:
This can be from extremes of 'Helicoptor' parents who are living their unfulfilled youth through their progeny or Absentee Parenting, a la, children having children i.e. emotionally immature having children and letting them be acculturated by Mass Media and Internet as their proxy guardians. It often seems when talking to some young parents that they have children and talk about them as another one of their possessions of 'stuff', rather than as developing humans. I believe children pick up on when a parent / guardian has this attitude toward them and the former mindset leads to the intensity of youth (depression -suicide - medicated) versus the relaxed youth of former generations.
As more families have less children more intense focus is put on them to achieve and 'be something'. In turn more adults in extended family to ratio of children results in (stuff) overload and achievement overload. It seems to me these children have much more 'designed' toys / stuff to play with versus the formative era I grew up in 1970's-80s. I observe more younger children who seem to play with something for short time and then be distracted by the next shiny smooth object. I think this may have something to do with more ADD type diagnosis i.e. too many choices at early age.
The desire to press 'achievement' (a good thing overall) results in what I would say overall is more 'structured play' i.e. see Consumer Marketing mentioned above. Again this gets to the loss of 'free form' play you mentioned in your youth without any expectations.
3) Economic Pressure
The ability of children to spend quality face to face time with parents - learning a variety of things you mentioned (learning to bake, knit etc...) is eroding as many families struggle to get by on two parents working due to declining real wages / incomes.
4) 24/7 Visual Media / Internet cultural influence:
Youngest generations with access to visual communication tech devices (computer phone devices) especially twitter / FB have become hyper communicative - in a "white noise" way. The devices provide an outlet to 'transmit' communication in absence of much forethought, thus, more amplified white noise i.e. the higher incidents you seem to hear of "Man up", "Grow A pair" "Screamed like a girl" are reminiscent of the white noise adults amplify when in inebriated state. It is much like tribal posturing. Everyone wants to feel more important and now that most have a device to do so, it provides an outlet. So the vocalization of the same lame terms that proliferate in the internet white noise communication environment - are now more prevalent in everyday use.
Resultant Conditioning:
Devolution into 'Pavlovian Consumers' to jingoistic flash points or sell points (sex/ prestige / vanity etc...) to be 'happy' consumers (analogous to a rat on a wheel) defined by their 'stuff'!
This Video, while long, is very informative and will give you a more in depth view of some of the things I mentioned above. It is a BBC Documentary from early 1990s which I would highly recommend as mandatory viewing to better understand the environment in which we live.
I grew up in the fifties and early sixties. I feel that there were much more rigid lines about expected male/female behavior. Not sure that I agree that there was a "golden age" where girls could run free and act like boys. I think yours is an unusual upbringing.
I do note that my grands are being brought up with a conscious desire to avoid gender stereotypes, but we all notice that the female grand acts just like a little girl She is quite young but loves playing with jewelry and wearing headbands, and looking at herself in the mirror. The male grand likes trucks, spaceships and dinosaurs. It is pretty obvious they are different in their interests.
One difference I notice now is that girls are allowed to be fanciful and to be girly with no criticism. And there are some new movie heroines for them who are more active and heroic. I think this a good thing.
I'm surprised that you feel that gender roles were less defined in the 50s. I wasn't born until the 80s, so I obviously have no idea, but it seems that maybe you just had much less exposure to media. I think that is probably the main difference today. If a child's parents and close friends didn't make a big deal about gender stereotypes in the 50s, they wouldn't be that aware of them because, really, all they had was tv to watch and how often did kids watch tv in the 50s compared to kids today?
I have made it a point to not raise my son to fit any gender stereotype and to not really be aware of gender roles, but his exposure to tv (which is much less than most kids his age) has still affected him significantly. He is seriously afraid to admit he likes the color pink. And I know he really likes the color pink. Big deal. It's a color. But he doesn't want to like it because it is not a "boy color."
Besides that, I remember distinctly, at about 5, I tried to make myself like to play with GI Joes and trucks because I didn't like the idea that some toys were for girls and others were for boys. I think this was because I saw boys who were made fun of because they liked things that were for girls. I thought that was silly and that people should be able to play with the toys they liked, regardless of gender. So anyway, I really, really tried to like things that were "for boys," but it never really worked out. I always enjoyed the things that were stereotypically for girls a lot more. Whether that was an intrinsic thing because I was female or a result of my cultural conditioning, I guess I will never know.
I'm not sure it makes any difference on women's or boys' eventual career choices and life trajectories, what kind of toys and games they played as kids, or pastimes they had. I don't think anyone forces girls to play with dolls, nor did they ever, with possibly some exceptions. It seems like boys where the ones who always had more rigid roles, and were expected to play sports, whether they were interested or had any aptitude for it or not. That's changing a little, but there's still a long way to go, in terms of boys' options, I think. It would be interesting to hear from the male contingent on this.
I just read something recently that for a long time, boys were thought to have better spatial relation abilities than girls. Studies are showing now that it's not so much that this is inherent, but that from a young age boys are conditioned to be more physical than girls, building things with blocks, catching and throwing balls, running and jumping, etc. all of which develop that ability. Now that kids' activities are more gender neutral, there are plenty of girls whose spatial relation abilities are on par with that of boys, and hopefully that kind of "girls are bad at science" mentality will go by the wayside..
Grew up in through late 50s, 60s and early 70s. Wife grew up 60s and through mid 70s. Remember toy commercials especially around Christmas time. Boys were shown with G.I. Joes, BB guns, military tanks. Girls shown with dolls, Susie home maker ovens and toy houses. Didn't stop my wife, she had two brothers and if she wanted to play with their toys, she did. Bit of a "tomboy" she was and still is somewhat. Me, well I stuck for the most part with the boys things. Let's just let children be children.
I've always had an issue with the boys toys, girls toys debate.
Men make great chefs and fashion designers. Women make great chemists and engineers.
They are no less male or female because of these career choices. Imagine the head start on careers that children would get if they were allowed to play with toys that interest them.
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