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I earned every spanking I received but sometimes I look back and think perhaps there was another way to correct the bad behavior. I don't have kids so I can't imagine what it's like to be a parent, but I hope to adapt the concept that I don't have to spank them, especially when recent studies show the negative effect of such actions.
What do you think? Is spanking child abuse?
No. My parents spanked on rare occasions, but never in anger and only as a last resort. We didn’t like it, of course, but we (their kids)knew when we deserved it. It had no negative effects on us that I can discern. Five of the seven of us have Master’s Degrees, one a Bachelor’s, and one retired military. None of us have been in trouble with the law.
We had parents whom we loved and respected; they were great role models. They practiced what they preached and were honest, hard working, and financially responsible. Their children turned out the same. Only one brother had any problems (alcohol), but I blame Viet Nam for that.
I don't see the connection. When they are adults, they are punished differently and they are punished by the courts, not by the parents.
When they are being raised, they have to learn how to behave. Like others here, I was spanked when I did something seriously wrong. I never made the same mistake again. With a spanking you learn immediately and then it's over. I don't think I lost any gray matter over it.
As an adult without kids, I did spank my little niece once when she nearly ran out in front of a car. She was too young to have understood if I had sat her down and had a conversation with her so she got a slap on the bottom along with the word, NO. I think the combination of the quick spanking and the word NO gets the message across efficiently to someone who's about 3 years old.
Older kids can understand and you can use some sort of discipline that's more complex. Time outs, taking privileges away. Really young kids are different and I think a sharp word and a slap/spank work better. Used when preventing dangerous behavior.
A number of states allow other adults to spank your kids in public schools.
I think that is 100% wrong - whether parents can opt out or not. You are using public taxpayer money to put forward the idea that corporal punishment is "blessed"....
I would have to agree with most of the studies. Science is an important indicator. Countries like Japan embarked on a program to raise the national IQ - and it worked (they are so far ahead of us that we are unlikely to ever catch them - especially given our current attitudes)....
Much of the raising of IQ had to do with how children are treated inside the home. And, no, it wasn't forcing them to read books or do their homework. It was love. Not tough love. Real love.
sure. Ergo the word "punishment". Defined connotates of shaming, hindering, or harming. To suppress the perceived offender.
Militant powers have used such for centuries to suppress its people. Its a black and white thinking and action. Either -OR.
I've yet to converse with a person who was physically harmed say they felt it was the BEST method to enhance self esteem or encourage self reflection. All they know is the sword is mighty (Corporal punishment) and the oppressed are to be submissive to the POWERFUL one.
By US standards, my parents would be in jail. They would use a rattan rod to hit me on the buttocks, and that would leave welts lasting for days. I remembered it, and vowed that I would never raise my kids the same way. So I never ever hit my daughter (only child, 25 y-o now). She and I are very close and our relationship is 1,000x better than that between me and my parents.
sure. Ergo the word "punishment". Defined connotates of shaming, hindering, or harming. To suppress the perceived offender.
Militant powers have used such for centuries to suppress its people. Its a black and white thinking and action. Either -OR.
I've yet to converse with a person who was physically harmed say they felt it was the BEST method to enhance self esteem or encourage self reflection. All they know is the sword is mighty (Corporal punishment) and the oppressed are to be submissive to the POWERFUL one.
Oh really?
The "perceived offender" is a 3 year old child sticking his finger into the electrical socket. What do you do? Sit him down and have a long, involved intellectual conversation about electricity, how it works, and some of its negative consequences?
And punishment is well deserved when a kid breaks a known rule established by the parents or the schools.
"Punishment" is not some sort of bad word. Good behavior should be rewarded; bad behavior punished--that's a simplistic explanation as there are all sorts and degrees of rewards and punishments, but that's how kids learn. You have to teach them. Kids like to know the rules and boundaries, by the way. They will even test you to find out if you really mean it when you tell them "no." Setting boundaries lets them know that you care. (I'm not talking about people who were physically harmed, not talking about militant powers or swords.)
There's a happy medium between being too strict and being too lenient. Either extreme can be detrimental.
By US standards, my parents would be in jail. They would use a rattan rod to hit me on the buttocks, and that would leave welts lasting for days. I remembered it, and vowed that I would never raise my kids the same way. So I never ever hit my daughter (only child, 25 y-o now). She and I are very close and our relationship is 1,000x better than that between me and my parents.
THAT was a beating, not a spanking, and it was abuse. I am sorry it happened to you.
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