Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My father died two years ago Christmas of cancer and now I have lost the fountain pen he gave me a 1961 Parker which I adored and held sentimental value for me and now im sick over the loss of it . I cant afford to replace it at all since they are so exspensive . I guess some people wont think this is a big deal but believe me it is to me ...I m so sick over it . Im just totally sick over it .
My father died two years ago Christmas of cancer and now I have lost the fountain pen he gave me a 1961 Parker which I adored and held sentimental value for me and now im sick over the loss of it . I cant afford to replace it at all since they are so exspensive . I guess some people wont think this is a big deal but believe me it is to me ...I m so sick over it . Im just totally sick over it .
I'm sorry you lost your Dad's pen. Sorry about your Dad's cancer and death...My storage unit got flooded during a bad storm and I lost a lot of items that belonged to my family members. (My husband and sons and parents, etc.)...It broke my heart to see all the damage. Took me awhile to cope with all of it...Anyway, I'm sorry you lost your Dad and his special pen.
If it means that much, then it is a big thing. I don't think that I have anything that belonged to my father. When I was cleaning out my mom's house last year, I found a very old bottle of Old Spice after shave lotion in her medicine cabinet. I considered keeping it.
This is a note of mine on Facebook. I know exactly how you feel...
Memories Remain in the Heart.
December 5, 2010 at 1:47pm
I am going to have to remember and steadily remind myself that memories remain in our hearts.
I used to have a bust that my mother made when I was a little girl. It was of a beautiful young woman. I cherished that thing. It seemed like when I touched it, it took me to her, to my mother. It made me remember everything about her and how very much I loved her.
One day it was broken and my heart broke with it. I saw the pieces of that bust shatter to the ground in so many pieces and I wept. It was gone, just like my mother. My mother created that thing with her own hands and it sat on her dresser all the time when I was a little girl. It used to have a male counterpart but my ex husband broke it.
It is just a thing, an object, I do realize but I was torn up inside. It took me quite a while to get over it, and who knows if I really have gotten over it.
I got to thinking about my mother. My mother is in my heart and soul and in every breath I take. She was not in that bust. Though her hands made it and molded it, it was not her. I had attached all of my memories to an object. I suppose thinking that there was something I could just touch that could bring her back to me.
Now, I can never make new memories with my mother, but that bust having been broken will also never take my memories of her away. They remain in my heart and my mind.
I have done it again. I have attached memories to something trying to keep them strong, to touch them and see them and have them close.
My fathers WWII picture. I have always looked at that thing with such reverence for my father. He was such a wonderful man with a caring and gentle heart. He was my hero, my everything. The day I lost him was a day I will never forget. It was the end of my world as I knew it. I did not ever attach that memory to the picture but the memory still remains, just as strong as if it had happened only yesterday, while in reality, it has been more than fifteen years ago.
I look at that picture and I can just feel my fathers love beam from it. But is that true? Is that really the case? No. It is not. What is really happening is that I look at it and am reminded of him. The picture does not represent the memories of my father, just reminds me. From there, the heart kicks in, where the memories are stored. Don't fool yourself by thinking they are only in the mind because they beat strongly with every breath I take. My father is within me, just as my mother is.
Because the picture is gone does not take the memories from me. Just like in the bust, it was an attachment made to soothe me.
I too am sorry about the loss of your father. As for the pen, as Pikantari wrote, it will not take the memories away and that's what counts.
I learned the lesson of "things" the hard way. My parents were both gone by the time I was 45. At age 48 my then wife left me, wiped out our home including a fair amount of memorabilia from my parents. I was devastated by the loss of "things" for a moment then came to the realization that I still retained those memories worth retaining. Now, I'm older than my mother was when I lost her (67) and on the near approach to my father's age (71) when I lost him.
In the end it's the memories that matter. While mementos are nice it's the memories that count the most.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,574,783 times
Reputation: 8044
I learned that lesson the hard way, too. When my husband died, my younger daughter came to CO under the pretense of helping me clean out the house and send all the contents to either the storage unit, to me, to the Estate Auction, Goodwill or trash. In the end, all the precious and valuable things went to her unbeknownst to me for two years until we opened the storage unit when my oldest daughter came back to the States, and found everything valuable gone. My other daughter had two years of selling MY stuff on Ebay, unchecked, as I trusted her and so did my oldest daughter. We were supposed to go through the valuables together and divvy them up evenly, but they were gone. I am still angry to this day about it. I was angry at missing the things that had memories and reminders attached to them as I did associated my husband with his "things" that I saw him use all the time. Now, I'm angry that my younger children have lost the momentos they would have cherished as "Dad's" because my daughter chose to be selfish and money hungry. We all have our memories, and they're beautiful, but sometimes, that bandana, or silver buckle, or those sterling bowls that were wedding gifts would be nice to have. Karma got her, though....
Oh, Don't you just hate it when the "ex" takes YOUR family momentos? I thought I was the only one bemoaning lost treasures by the snake.
You are not alone. My ex took all the photos of our life. Kids have nothing of their childhood.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
